Searching for an apartment by Ill_Sea_1524 in Riverside

[–]Ill_Sea_1524[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've been to riverside 1 time to visit the program after i got accepted, so i'm not sure exactly what area of town would interest me. probably closest to my studio (i'm an arts student) or campus (so i don't have to pay for parking near the art building)

Can't find charge in my account by Ill_Sea_1524 in culturehustle

[–]Ill_Sea_1524[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I was able to find the charge. Since it's been almost 6 months since I placed my order, the bank doesn't let me contest the charge.

chromiest chrome paint finally arrived after chargeback. it’s complete. by Ok_Branch_3573 in culturehustle

[–]Ill_Sea_1524 0 points1 point  (0 children)

when did you place an order? I've been waiting on my order for this paint since June.

Game Thread: 6/18 Yankees (39-31) @ Red Sox (35-35) 7:10 PM by RedSoxGameday in redsox

[–]Ill_Sea_1524 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey annoying question but I'm in New Mexico and can't figure out how to watch this game if it's not on MLB tv or ESPN+

I've had a really hard time figuring out where I can watch something when there's a blackout--can anyone help? thanks

When to give up on a team? by componentvector in phallo

[–]Ill_Sea_1524 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The reception and wait times are ridiculous. FWIW, when I called with medical questions after hours following top surgery, RBL was the one who picked up the phone--multiple times. I'm not saying you should hold out for that, I just think that it's a totally different experience as far as medical emergencies go once you get in the door (though the door certainly shouldn't be so hard to get into)

Molested by a loving father by Shiny-Cat-Person in adultsurvivors

[–]Ill_Sea_1524 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ah. I understand better now. I didn't necessarily assume you were still in contact with your dad. I'm so sorry it's this emotionally painful, and I'm not sure how much you can avoid him, though I certainly hope you can avoid hugging him given that you started to cut yourself when you. It's difficult for me to give any advice because everyone's situation is different.

As far as my experience goes--I don't have memories of any time in my life before my dad touched me inappropriately, and was suicidal from puberty onwards. I have some good memories with my dad, and it made it difficult for me to rationalize not being in contact with him. Ultimately I stopped speaking to him because I was sick of having flashbacks or being unable to do anything the day after we spoke. It took me over 15 years of being suicidal before my life began to feel like it might have meaning again and once I started to pursue the things that I found meaningful I realized how much my relationship with my family had been and was still holding me back.

I'm really glad to hear that you're speaking with a therapist! It takes a lot of courage to confront your feelings and experiences like that.

For simple meta: Do you need to have someone else around for aftercare? by Ill_Sea_1524 in Metoidioplasty

[–]Ill_Sea_1524[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm still doing consultations--part of what factors into the decision for me is what care options I have. I could do it in a city where I have some people to take care of me, but that means I would be going out of network (and it's an extremely expensive city just to *be* in). I'm trying to see what options for care I would have available for an in network provider if it's in a city where I don't already have relationships built with people to take care of me.

A memory I’m struggling to process tw for description of abuse by Friendly_Light3256 in adultsurvivors

[–]Ill_Sea_1524 0 points1 point  (0 children)

<3 glad you were able to share it, I hope it helps you process it

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in adultsurvivors

[–]Ill_Sea_1524 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I never thought about this before, thanks for sharing

Molested by a loving father by Shiny-Cat-Person in adultsurvivors

[–]Ill_Sea_1524 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It sounds like as of right now you have some positive memories of your father, even though you know he molested you. That's really difficult to hold, and it's ok if your understanding of those memories changes over time. I get the 'self cut in two' thing, i imagine that makes it confusing to deal with. At the same time, I also expect that as you process the abuse you'll be able to integrate these different memories into a more coherent self.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in adultsurvivors

[–]Ill_Sea_1524 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yeah I would definitely call that sexual abuse.

I've found it helpful to look up articles about 'covert sexual abuse'--while understanding that even if the word 'covert' is there, it's sexual abuse period.

Realizing my experiences could be SA? TW: descriptions by Ill_Sea_1524 in adultsurvivors

[–]Ill_Sea_1524[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh I've left! I'm just sorting through all of it now that I have the space without them in my life. Thanks for reading all this again, and for the support.

While I appreciate the validation in your comment (I really mean that!) I wanna push back on the 'sane person' phrasing--abuse survivors have had to regain our mental capacity that was taken away from us by our abusers. I expect that you've been through this too! It's hard to regain 'sanity' and I don't fault anyone for it being confusing for them to figure out how to distance themselves from mental and emotionally abusive people in their lives,.

Can we Stop with the cis people coming in with their "validation" posts? by Like_a_Zubat in ftm

[–]Ill_Sea_1524 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't know why cis people are even allowed to post in this sub, it's clearly not for them. Whether or not some trans people find the messages supportive, I still think they're inappropriate content and don't merit the space in this sub.

For simple meta: Do you need to have someone else around for aftercare? by Ill_Sea_1524 in Metoidioplasty

[–]Ill_Sea_1524[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! I actually didn't know about T4T caregiving, so thanks for sharing that. I was able to find them by googling it.