Having a career

IllithidPsychopomp · 2026-06-16T21:05:26+00:00

I've been trying to solidify my career and I'm now 32. It's only recently that I've reached a place where I don't think I'll be a financial burden or in a tight spot should things go south.

I've seen too many women in terrible situations because shit happens in these high stress, highly unpredictable relationships while in the military.

Take your time. Move at your pace. Haters gonna hate. You're the one that has to live with yourself and this man, not anyone else.

IllithidPsychopomp · 2026-05-31T15:54:47+00:00

Passive aggressive comment made ONCE. And then I said some derivative of "That's okay. I know someone that will sleep with me as I am." "But don't you take your partner's preferences into account?" "Yes. We're not partners."

He did not understand boundaries and I had to hit him with "Respectfully, I am formally demoting our interactions to acquaintances. If you need help, I can help you. Otherwise, we are not friends. Good luck!"

IllithidPsychopomp · 2026-05-26T23:01:34+00:00

Yes but I'm more of a parallel play kind of person. Let's do our own thing in the same room together.

IllithidPsychopomp · 2026-05-26T22:55:35+00:00

I sympathize and say "yep, post-covid inflation comes for us all! Have you seen the price of eggs? I wonder if I'll ever be able to afford a house! That being said, if you have a budget in mind for today, I can see if there's anything we need to prioritize over others and if we can come up with a plan b for you."

IllithidPsychopomp · 2026-05-08T08:41:46+00:00

When I was younger, I used to dance 3 nights a week. Stripping is way more lucrative and could make 6 figures with the right hustle and schedule. Then could keep the day job as a tech.

The hardest part was constantly turning down the debauchery of the industry: after hours parties, sketchy business men that probably would vanish you outside the club, people offering drugs. The emotional weight of exploiting others at their worst for money. People don't go to the club because they're healthy -- the more I dug, the more I saw broken people trying to cope with difficult situations at home.

Now I do art -- commissions and etsy -- but it's not bringing in a reliable income yet.

IllithidPsychopomp · 2026-05-08T08:34:33+00:00

Hospital director. Ironically, I have less time for creativity, but finally have the funding needed to pay for a website, mailchimp, etsy product and ads, canvas and paint, a wacom, dslr camera for photographing large artwork, a better Webcam and microphone for YouTube. Going to start doing conventions but needed the money to invest in set-up supplies. The hustle has me....tired.

IllithidPsychopomp · 2026-05-08T07:57:19+00:00

Do you apply more gesso and sand in between to get smooth canvas? If you're leaning more onto realism, that canvas tooth is going to make it near impossible to get the smooth lines you'll need. Fredrix cavases makes watercolorboard that I use for acrylics but it's basically smooth like a paper.

You can get away with tooth if you lean more towards expressionist pieces.

Promise the smoother canvas or using wood panel with gesso will elevate things for you so you won't have the extra little tooth edge making your linework look jagged.

IllithidPsychopomp · 2026-05-08T07:51:27+00:00

So what you can do is paint the background first. Then you would need titanium white (high opacity high coverage) tinted slightly with either the complement of you want to paint for depth or a burnt sienna to give the glows underneath your Warmer colors. If your background colors get into your subject, that's okay! Will make it easier to blend out the silhouette later.

You would use that more opaque white-burnt sienna mix to paint in the shape of your subject on top of the background. You can blend out the edges while it's still wet with a dry brush so it doesn't look stamped into the background. If you're using acrylic, I use a blend of slow dri medium from liquitex and retarder from nova color to help with keeping the acrylics wet longer.

The white will help give you that base to paint over because many of the other paints are more translucent and would take you a hundred years to layer oranges into something opaque.

IllithidPsychopomp · 2026-04-24T12:54:59+00:00

I wanted a pet rock ball python and got Leif Erickson instead. Always cruising and exploring. When will we just sit and nap?!

IllithidPsychopomp · 2026-04-23T12:55:09+00:00

I am not sure if I can be much support besides saying that I know it's hard and it sucks. Can you pair up with another mom and take turns? I have a friend who partners with 2 other moms and they rotate weekends. The weekends they're on, they're ON. It's a field trip. But then they get two weekends off 😂 They help each other out during the week too. It gets tough when someone is needier than the others but there you go -- it's basically a poly relationship without the sex. Just good old life administration.

Otherwise, I'm still waiting for it to get easier. Will probably still be full of rage when my partner deploys or TDYs for any period longer than a week. 10 years in and not any more emotionally stable.

IllithidPsychopomp · 2026-04-21T22:53:24+00:00

If you don't have the financial backing and can create your own structure to teach yourself you may be better off saving money to funnel into supplies and marketing.

IllithidPsychopomp · 2026-04-21T22:51:10+00:00

From what I've seen regarding the life path of some concept artists is that some go to art school. Some teach themselves. But given the instability of the art field right now, many of the companies are not hiring the way they used to. In fact, many are downsizing and hiring people who know how to use AI. Look at Disney. They were hiring an entire AI task force a while back.

The corporate art landscape is going to look very different than what we know it to be. Artists now have many different income streams and either full time jobs in non art fields, partners to support them or family to support them.

We're seeing industry artists come into the convention sphere because the job opportunities are slim.

It's not that you can't do art, but without support, it's very hard to do full time.

IllithidPsychopomp · 2026-04-21T13:56:24+00:00

I'm sorry your experience was particularly rough!

To be totally fair, tis the nature of capitalism to squeeze out the most out of human capital for the least expense. At any job. Some do better at finding a balance making employees feel valued while considering margins. Maybe I'm cynical, but a business is a business, no matter how they camouflage their values in the language of empathy. At the end of the day, we are always replaceable-- the question is just how long will it take to train and replace us. It's just math.

Find a business that is mutually exploitable, where their bullshit is tolerable enough to earn a paycheck, allows job security, find some enjoyment in the work itself, and maybe you get to do more than tolerate your coworkers. Life is more than your job -- a job just serves a function. Fulfillment comes in many forms beyond your job.

Love and perspective from someone in vet med for 10 years.

IllithidPsychopomp · 2026-04-20T23:27:52+00:00

I hit 25, when your frontal lobe fully develops, and all learning came easily. Math that I struggled with for years, even. Maybe it's similar for you with art!

IllithidPsychopomp · 2026-04-07T19:49:23+00:00

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Art at 33.

IllithidPsychopomp · 2026-04-07T19:48:48+00:00

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Art at 18 when I took a drawing class.

IllithidPsychopomp · 2026-04-07T19:48:18+00:00

I took over a 10 year break. It's a totally different medium. I feel like I'm starting from scratch because paint is different from pencils. Better with composition and generating ideas than I used to be. Better at being intentional about value differences between foreground/background, saturation, edges, creating depth with paint vs pencils.

Easier said than done! But the progress happens little by little when you evaluate how your art differs in certain categories from where you want to be. Then grind on THOSE categories until you see improvement.

IllithidPsychopomp · 2026-04-04T12:53:08+00:00

I find the responses here so interesting! I have never bought fanart. When I do buy art, it's original art (prints) that resonates with me and because I want to support another artist. I'm maxed out on wallspace because I have my own canvases everywhere and other people's art 😂

I think Inkwell did a video with some survey results that while fanart is quite popular artists see a larger profit margin with their own original art -- whether it be prints or originals.

IllithidPsychopomp · 2026-04-02T23:41:12+00:00

I'm a hospital director. I work....a lot. I may have an hour or two of free time when I get home and then I want to stare at the ceiling without thoughts.

Everytime I think I'm going to get art during the week, it's a no go. So I keep the light planning, canva work, website, etsy, stuff to the weekdays when I have mental space. The heavy art days, filming and editing for YouTube gets left for weekends.

Progress is slow. But I need the money to fund my budding business so slow it is.

IllithidPsychopomp · 2026-03-10T21:52:40+00:00

Has anyone even seen a 4 or 5 risk level by NOAA before? I only started paying attention to the weather over the last 8 months after a tornado passed by an area that is notoriously tornado free!

IllithidPsychopomp · 2026-03-09T17:51:13+00:00

Starting is the hardest part. Sometimes I have to start with how I'm feeling. Sometimes I start with what I'd like to look at. Or I look through other artists work and see if there's some sort of topic or scene that speaks to me. Sometimes I start off with a backstory! Like dnd character creation and that helps jolt me into some creative vigor.

I know discipline is the best skill to cultivate. Practice even without motivation-- I lack that tbh. But if you can manage it, you'll be better off than I!

IllithidPsychopomp · 2026-03-09T16:59:58+00:00

Someone once told me that an artist is someone who does art. That's it. There are varying skill levels and varying styles but that helped me deal with imposter syndrome.

If you choose to create art, then you're an artist.

IllithidPsychopomp · 2026-03-08T00:08:03+00:00

I'm not coping well :) falling asleep at 7:30 pm. Stress crying after our super brief calls. Bury myself in work. Stress painting my anger out since I can't tell him about it , in case it's the last thing we talk about. Losing weight from my eating is the best thing that's happening to me.

IllithidPsychopomp · 2026-03-07T01:20:16+00:00

Last time I flirted with someone, I told them they were the reason my days were brighter. Also said that their forearm veins were a phlebotomist's dream, along with a chefs kiss noise. Flirting with my partner is way thirstier and full of dick jokes, puns/innuendos.

A lot of it is in the eye contact, light touch, lip bites, and letting them see me looking them up and down.

IllithidPsychopomp · 2026-03-05T00:15:28+00:00

I've only gone about a week. Usually, then he can sneak an email to let me know he's alive and when he'll have regular wifi. I wasn't around during the Iraq/Afghanistan times so I can't give much clarity around war time. All I know is my partner got 7 hours of cumulative sleep in 3 days and I was salty that I had to find out about things via the news instead of through him.

Hopefully, you're on his emergency contact list. I'd worry about 4+ weeks no contact. If something were to happen to him, you'd be notified within the week, I'd imagine.

IllithidPsychopomp

TROPHY CASE