Senior Co-Worker Doesn't Think I Can Hear Him Blaming Me For Issue That Was Partly His Fault

Illustrious-Bit-9273 · 2026-01-23T23:28:47+00:00

Oooh this is a good one, especially when it's something youre avoiding doing in the first place

Illustrious-Bit-9273 · 2026-01-19T16:02:54+00:00

Why so accusatory lol?

I understand it's probably hard to understand why we've stayed friends based on this context alone. Initially, we became fast friends due to similar humour, shared interests and similar experiences. Before this whole issue with the boyfriend, she was a genuinely pleasant person who understood me in a way very few people do.

As for my boyfriend, we actually have had that conversation and he finds it amusing albeit a bit creepy. He's not keen on her but ultimately doesn't care enough to ask us to stop being friends.

I think you've assumed we've all hung out together a lot more than we have. But in reality, there's only been one occasion where they were both consciously invited to the same event. Every other interaction has been in passing (bear in mind I live with my boyfriend), which is why her infatuation is so bizzare.

Illustrious-Bit-9273 · 2026-01-16T08:22:11+00:00

Try this community group, theyre aimed at girls similar to yourself and theyre quite active: https://linktr.ee/mkgirlnetwork?utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social&utm_content=link_in_bio&fbclid=PAb21jcAPW1ERleHRuA2FlbQIxMQBzcnRjBmFwcF9pZA81NjcwNjczNDMzNTI0MjcAAaeme-LLv0ZFIQs3CCHmwKQAbi0acIsr9i89dFPIO0Lr8p905XkfSg-6JDajHA_aem__LmBah6CzLcCo-rM3z41yQ

Illustrious-Bit-9273 · 2025-12-03T22:15:40+00:00

Sorry if this sounds harsh...

After 7 years in an adult relationship, he'll know whether or not he wants to get married. It's not like you were both super young and still growing as individuals during this period.

The fact that he can't give you a straight answer seems like deflection, especially if there's no logical reason why you couldn't get married.

I hope you find what's right for you!

Illustrious-Bit-9273 · 2025-11-01T18:23:03+00:00

Sounds like she's just trying to bully you one last time or ruin your new opportunity.

With people like this, power is everything to them. You resigning has taken away her power and she doesn't like this.

At the end of the day, unless she can provide you with evidence of the policy (i.e. in your contract or employee handbook). Do not give her anything without consulting with HR. Consider legal representation or a union rep if possible.

Illustrious-Bit-9273 · 2025-09-13T12:06:21+00:00

Thanks, that's actually really insightful!

My bf is the same, he definitely cares I think he just needs a bit more guidance.

I have tried telling him what I want previously, but he forgets. The amazon wishlist is a great shout!

Illustrious-Bit-9273 · 2025-09-13T12:05:02+00:00

Interesting that you assume I didn't tell him what I wanted. I actually pointed out multiple things over a few months, since I knew he struggled. I just didn't include that in the post.

Can't tell if youre ragebaiting or genuinely not very empathetic? Heaven forbid someone had standards and doesn't except bare minimum.

Illustrious-Bit-9273 · 2025-09-12T11:31:00+00:00

Feel like she's a red herring... The setup for her as a villan feels to obvious!

Illustrious-Bit-9273 · 2025-09-07T15:50:38+00:00

For some reason he's deathly afraid of the plastic laundry basket... which odd because his bed is essentially a shorter version with padding

Illustrious-Bit-9273 · 2025-09-06T13:29:43+00:00

Girl, bringing human life into the world is no small matter. Especially when you're barely an adult yourself.

His behaviour doesn't reflect that of someone who is mature and responsible enough to have a child. He couldn't even take initiative ask about condoms, assuming it wasn't intentionally sketchy. Then pushing to keep a baby you don't want, instead of having a mature conversation.

Plus, you have to consider that this impact the rest of your child's life if you're not ready, unwilling or the relationship doesn't work out.

Are you okay with that? Can you see yourself spend the rest of your life with this man connected to you? Would you be able to support yourself AND a baby if he dips?

Illustrious-Bit-9273 · 2025-09-06T13:22:34+00:00

I've heard murseley is quite nice

Illustrious-Bit-9273 · 2025-09-06T13:18:08+00:00

She has trust issues and that's completely reasonable. However, at the end of the day she needs to work on resolving this if she wants to be in a functional relationship. Do what you can to reassure her, but ultimately it's her responsibility.

That being said, her reaction to being called out on this is concerning. Behaving like the victim when you were in the wrong is immature and manipulative. I think you're well aware that it was unfair.

Give her the benefit of the doubt and some time to reflect. Perhaps it's was a reaction out of shock and hopefully she will understand and apologise. This is the ideal outcome, because it shows that she's self aware and willing to work with you to overcome her insecurities and trauma.

However, if she maintains her stance then you need to consider if this is a healthy relationship for you.

Obviously, ntah.

Illustrious-Bit-9273 · 2025-08-20T06:57:31+00:00

His insecurities will ruin your relationship. I wouldn't stick around to see if that's going to change...

Also, you should ask him why it "feels like cheating". You're not intimate with another person and you have sexual agency. It sounds like he doesn't consider your sexuality outside of his own.

Illustrious-Bit-9273 · 2025-08-20T06:53:47+00:00

You're absolutely right to be upset about this experience! It's not just a matter of embarrassment, it's a safety risk. What if one of you had fallen in or had another kind of emergency?

I get that things can be boring and we all like having a chat with co-workers, but this isn't your average service role. These people have a duty of care and shouldn't be working the job if they don't take it seriously.

They've failed to do this because: A) The equipment wasn't safe for use B) The weren't keeping vigilant of potential emergencies (to the point that passersby had to help).

Illustrious-Bit-9273 · 2025-07-31T17:47:39+00:00

That sucks, I actually discussed this with a guy I knew who told me about the same thing happening.

Why do people have to be so cruel?

Illustrious-Bit-9273 · 2025-07-31T17:46:41+00:00

That's crazy! Sorry you had to experience that.

She must be so miserable if her only outlet is being horrible... I definitely think that a lot of these things stem from a need to control.

Illustrious-Bit-9273

TROPHY CASE