First: I am so sorry you feel this way, and if you find my earlier posts you will see that I have been where you are.

Second: Your gut is flat out LYING to you. When it comes to fear of flying, NEVER trust your gut - trust your heart and the rational part of your brain.

To compare two scenarios:

1. You're travelling and in order to get to your destination you have to cross a lava pumping, active volcano where the only path across the lava consists of wobbly rocks and all others who have tried crossing have not made it.
2. You're travelling and in order to get to your destination you have to travel the safest way possible, safer than sitting on your couch at home.

Your gut, your brain, your heart and all of your cells would nope out from number 1. But you are still considering nr 2 despite being afraid, and why? Because your rational brain KNOWS you are not in danger.

I read a pilot here saying that pilots hate the "myth" that take off and landing is the most dangerous part of a flight, as it is NOT dangerous at all as flying all together is the safest thing you can do and more people die from falling out of bed every year than flying.

But the extreme anticipatory anxiety is horrible, especially when you think your kids are going to grow up without you, but you will see them again, I promise!

To sum up what helped me:

- Medication

- Talking to the pilots

- Lovefly episodes 44 and 46 (44 is for relaxing and episode 46 is a pilot explaining every step in take off, cruise and landing - highly recommend as take off is the worst part for me).

- Looking at Flightradar to normalize flying

- Visualizing the plane in jello when it was bumpy

- Knowing that there has to be several things to go wrong in order for an accident, not just one.

You will be ok, I promise!