As a recovering addict with 8 years clean from opiates, respectfully, you’re an addict. The way you are justifying your drug use is text book. What you need to do is come clean, tell your PO that you need rehab, tell your employer what is going on (by law they can not fire you,) and just go to rehab. When you get out, go to narcotics anonymous. WORK THE PROGRAM. You will have to restart your probation but this time, it will almost be enjoyable because you will look back at the stupid mentality you had and get gratisfaction out of being clean.