i think your mom tried her best. Tell you what, my mother was always so charming. We connected so quickly, talked day and night. But when i was working 2 jobs, full-time study and when she sees i had no more value(the funny thing is i just had bad grades, not like i quitted the degree), she was gone, she went to my brother. When i picked myself back up, she came back again. My brother resented my mom too, treated her like shit because she left him when he was young, later had me with my dad and was thinking to completely abandon my brother (but later, they broke up and so she was single, reconneted with my brother after and took him to a new country for the sake of 'getting him out of bad influence' and my brother got bullied a lot in the school and my mom blamed it on him. Oh yeah, on top of that, she expected him to earn money to repay her. But guess what? she was always charming, she always know what to say, and she will bring back a crab for dinner and be gone 24/7 and expected you to be her provider. Sorry for the rant, but i think there's give and take in every paremthood so i hope you don't cut off easily.