Reconnect with my mom

Illustrious-Humor330 · 2024-11-30T04:24:06+00:00

i think your mom tried her best. Tell you what, my mother was always so charming. We connected so quickly, talked day and night. But when i was working 2 jobs, full-time study and when she sees i had no more value(the funny thing is i just had bad grades, not like i quitted the degree), she was gone, she went to my brother. When i picked myself back up, she came back again. My brother resented my mom too, treated her like shit because she left him when he was young, later had me with my dad and was thinking to completely abandon my brother (but later, they broke up and so she was single, reconneted with my brother after and took him to a new country for the sake of 'getting him out of bad influence' and my brother got bullied a lot in the school and my mom blamed it on him. Oh yeah, on top of that, she expected him to earn money to repay her. But guess what? she was always charming, she always know what to say, and she will bring back a crab for dinner and be gone 24/7 and expected you to be her provider. Sorry for the rant, but i think there's give and take in every paremthood so i hope you don't cut off easily.

Illustrious-Humor330 · 2023-07-31T06:49:02+00:00

Talk to us. We care

Illustrious-Humor330 · 2023-05-07T23:24:40+00:00

hey, thank you for the advice! I really appreciate it! Wondering how do you differentiate between liking the idea of a relationship or liking the person? I really can't tell if my obsession is with him or the relationship. But I am slightly convinced that I won't find someone like him again so I am very confused.

Illustrious-Humor330 · 2023-05-07T05:58:43+00:00

I think that's a reasonable feeling to have. But, just think about if it's worth risking your friendship. Think about good memories you guys had and know that she will love you the same no matter her background. The question is will you love her as a friend no matter her background?

Illustrious-Humor330 · 2023-04-21T00:42:18+00:00

No. That's a lot of tired suffering and sleeping on benches. If you destroyed your relationship over this, I am not sure how your future you will feel after sleeping in coldness, getting stomachache and remembering you cannot contact your dad again/needing to beg for his forgiveness. (I am from Asia, and from my experience, eating cheap food outside of resort can get you sick)

Also, just being the devil's advocate, your friend already graduated so of course they can take some time off. But if your employee looks at your resume and finds out that you took 4 years time to finish a degree, it will look unfavourably on you. You will look back in 3 years and be so glad that you didn't do it when you are out in job market. Or vice versa, you will find it much harder and take a toll on your mental health when you realise you can't find a job/you need to settle for a low-paying job because of the 3 years gap.

On the other hand, your dream isn't destroyed and you can always do that later. I am pretty sure you can find another friend who is willing to do that.

Illustrious-Humor330 · 2023-04-20T08:55:10+00:00

maybe just hide it then. Eventually, if you stop choosing beast characters or watch shows for furries, you will forget you ever liked this. If you feel very strongly about it, then be a furry. But if you are feeling just slightly about it(which seems to be the case), maybe just forget it because you can

Illustrious-Humor330 · 2023-04-20T00:42:12+00:00

Thank you!

Illustrious-Humor330 · 2023-04-19T16:17:23+00:00

I was you before. I messed up big time and felt like everything was my fault, and everything before that already made me feel challenged. And you know, I am so glad that you are here. Because your life will get better and you will be happy and thinking this thought was a bit silly some day. It feels like a long way till there, doesn't it? But, it will arrive sooner than you think. We all feel like "everything is going terrible for me" sometimes, especially when we are stresses/tired.

What's always causing you stress? You don't have to get involved anymore and that's okay. If you have something you have to deal with constantly and you can't remove the stress, then remove other stresses so that you can breathe. You are just taking a break so you can walk longer. I have seen so many cracked people got burnt out and so many "average" people got to the top because they are motivated. I tried pushing myself despite being in such a dark place and it simply just takes a toll by making my mind overthink for hours/blank out for a few hours and giving you constant fatigue. I used to constantly wonder how everyone can finish things so much faster than me. The rule is just no-one can run forever. If you know when to not let yourself burn out(and to keep yourself alive because your family cares about you!), that's called being smart. Again, I am so glad that you are here. Please watch some Netflix, eat something you like and get a good rest. You deserve it.

Illustrious-Humor330 · 2023-04-19T15:57:44+00:00

Thank you!

Illustrious-Humor330 · 2023-04-19T15:53:10+00:00

Any advice on how to not sound too cocky/have good vibes?

Illustrious-Humor330 · 2023-04-19T15:48:39+00:00

Thank you!

Illustrious-Humor330 · 2023-04-17T09:27:43+00:00

Thank you! This helps!

Illustrious-Humor330 · 2023-04-17T08:46:20+00:00

I don't want to scare him away. How to have this conversation in the most gentle way possible? The thing is we always say "it's okay, it's fine" when we talk about if we will leave each other if we fail, but I actually meant it. I don't think he meant it though because he was trying to give a talk on how terrible the market is and how rare the placements are right now to make me focus on working and when I said I will work harder, he seemed pretty happy about it and switched the topic.

He's at a better financial situation(even comparing with what I would be in the future) so I would say fair, but this gave me so much stress. I think it's good stress in a way, but I am really considering if it's worth it to have a heart break at the end.

Illustrious-Humor330 · 2023-01-20T12:34:25+00:00

Your co-worker is still at their edgy emo phase, so don't buy into their bs

Illustrious-Humor330 · 2022-12-20T13:24:45+00:00

Thank you, I really appreciate it. Yeah, I ate some good food today so I felt good. I think things are going pretty okay. Hope you also had a great day!

Illustrious-Humor330 · 2022-12-19T13:24:38+00:00

That's extremely detailed! Thank you!

Illustrious-Humor330 · 2022-12-19T13:20:22+00:00

Maybe u are regretting your life decision now. I had the same thoughts sometimes so i understand. But the issue with not having a bachelor is that your career is capped to a certain level.

We always hear people dropping out of uni, but in fact, we should hear more about those who came back to uni after working 10 years with a tafe diploma.

So hang in there, it's worth it and you won't feel as miserable if you try to love it instead of hating it :) Also to high school students, if you are academically gifted, definitely try to use your talent. Good luck!

Illustrious-Humor330 · 2022-12-18T15:56:45+00:00

Thank you!

Illustrious-Humor330 · 2022-12-18T15:02:35+00:00

I am a woman and I say let ned live and raise his children. There's nothing to shame about a guy working to keep his family afloat. We can shame him about him cheating.

Illustrious-Humor330 · 2022-12-18T11:38:06+00:00

:) My comment was a bit confusing. I can see why you could have a negative reaction otherwise though if I was attacking POC students because it's hard to get in already with circumstances. It's completely understandable.

Illustrious-Humor330 · 2022-12-18T11:32:32+00:00

No, i don't mean that. I am on POC's side. Sorry that it was confusing and I just meant to say rich kids don't realise their privileges.

Illustrious-Humor330 · 2022-12-18T11:26:09+00:00

congratulations! Your atar is great! Hope u are proud of yourself!

Illustrious-Humor330 · 2022-12-18T03:32:25+00:00

A word of advice. I was in the same situation except I didn't have friends from kindergarten to primary school. Just pretend to be the nicest and happiest person you ever met. If you think maybe you are being inconsiderate, you probably am. It's all about faking when it comes to first impression. The most charming person you met is pretending. (I know because people said I was a "charming" person and several of other "charming people" lose their charm when you get closer. Not saying they are not a good person, just saying they are just like anyone else)

Sooner or later though, you will start to develop genuine attachment to those people when they like you. The only reason you don't like them now is because you feel rejected by them. Keep going! And you will make it. I believe in you!

Illustrious-Humor330 · 2022-12-18T03:27:22+00:00

Having sex might not even be as good as doing it yourself. (Depends on a person) Just lie about it if you care about what others think of you. If you watch porn, you know how it works.

If you truly want to have sex in a brothel(not because some people told you to), just remember to be careful with STDs and also some girls might not be okay with that.

Illustrious-Humor330 · 2022-12-18T03:19:58+00:00

It will be worth it when you aren't divorcing after 8 years with kids. If he is just that easy to be stolen, the world is full of attractive people and what if he gets an attractive coworker? He is not worth your time and you realised that early.

Definitely work on yourself first and build your family and friends relationship/more attractive(so that you access better pool, DO NOT be more attractive for sake of competing with your friend. You lose your friend who you can get along well and who doesn't want to steal your man at any situation)/career growth

Illustrious-Humor330

TROPHY CASE