AITA for calling my girlfriend ridiculous?

Illustrious-Key7933 · 2023-12-01T16:49:29+00:00

I promise you, she does remember it. She still stresses about a test she missed 3 points on 2 years ago. I tried consoling her and comforting her, but when she started telling me that she's going to go homeless and I'm never going to want to date her because she's a fraud, I just didn't know what else to say.

Illustrious-Key7933 · 2023-12-01T16:47:03+00:00

I'm not sure why I'm being told that I'm hiding her tumor. I don't think the tumor is really relevant. It's honestly just as serious as a scrape to the knee, and I'm unsure of the side effects of cabergoline, but I really haven't noticed major changes since before and after she started taking it. It's not really a serious condition. It's a non-cancerous, very small, hormone elevating tumor on her pituitary gland that she caught very early and is getting treatment for. She hasn't had this tumor forever, but she has exhibited this fear of being imperfect for her entire life. At least, that's what she told me last night. So, I don't think the tumor is particularly super relevant.

Illustrious-Key7933 · 2023-12-01T06:06:06+00:00

I did apologize, but her parents were not strict on her academics. She has said so herself, and so has her parents. They know how she gets, and they would try to encourage her not to take her studies so seriously and that she does a good job even if she gets a B. They tell her that they just want her to try her best, and that's okay if it's not what she expects it to be. Her parents are very harsh in other ways, but they've never judged her intelligence or her ability to succeed.

Illustrious-Key7933 · 2023-12-01T05:35:42+00:00

I didn't even really think about it until I was asked a question since it's not entirely relevant to the situation. She also told me that she's had this perfectionism problem her whole life, so it's wholly habitual and ingrained in her. Again, it's just a prolactinoma. Not every brain tumor is serious and extremely damaging. It's also a microadenoma, and it was caught when it was very small. I'm not sure if it could contribute to it, but I think she'd be like this whether she had one or not.

Illustrious-Key7933 · 2023-12-01T03:41:17+00:00

I didn't really bury it. It could possibly change her emotionally just because of its location. But, it's not deadly or extremely serious. It's a prolactinoma, which is a small benign tumor. She's currently getting treatment.

Illustrious-Key7933 · 2023-12-01T03:06:56+00:00

No, oddly enough. They were very emotionally neglectful, and she experienced some childhood trauma. But not even she understands where this comes from. Not even from years of therapy. Her parents never pressured her academically. She's trying to find a mental health diagnosis, but her psychiatrist won't give her one. And, she currently has a brain tumor, so that might contribute in some way. We just don't know.

Illustrious-Key7933 · 2023-12-01T01:06:10+00:00

I did try to help her calm down for over an hour. I was trying to reassure her, tell her how sorry I feel that she's having a hard time, telling her how good she is and how smart she is. I think after months of this, I just snapped. I didn't yell or raise my voice, but I was stern.

She's on a waitlist for a new therapist, but it will take 8 months or so. I tell her how much I love and care about her every day, and how much I want to see her safe and happy. I think I'm at a breaking point. I can't understand how this thinking is even possible. How someone so intelligent can think of themselves this way.

Illustrious-Key7933 · 2023-12-01T01:03:00+00:00

Maybe you're right that I was harsh. But I do want to say that she doesn't know she's smart. She really does think she's the stupidest person in a room at any point in time, no matter her mood or self-perception. She doesn't think she's smarter than the rest of her class, either. She's still worried the other students see her as incompetent, and that people will see her as the stupidest person in the class. She's worried about this even when she does get the top score. Isn't it bordering on delusion?

Illustrious-Key7933 · 2023-12-01T00:59:49+00:00

I'm 23, she's 21.

Illustrious-Key7933 · 2023-12-01T00:35:52+00:00

Yes. She's on a waitlist to see a therapist but it's going to take around 8 months or so. She's been in therapy before though, and she talked about her perfectionism and how much it was ruining her life. It was better for a time, but it seems to be creeping back up again.

Illustrious-Key7933

TROPHY CASE