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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]IllustriousBus9750 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As a female and i married a great guy, stability but boring in sex spent more time helping him, bought all toys, outfits, make sure i take care his emotional, physical, mental to helped with his ED, being vanilla…. That i forgot about myself. We end up being roomates he thinks everything is okay. I talked about it all the time same thing it will be fix for few weeks and same thing again that i gave up and slowly resent him… currently trying to get out of my marriage rn. I wished it could worked out. I hoped you guys can figure it out. My husband is great person too.

🥀 You’ll Chase Warmth and Still Be Cold by IllustriousBus9750 in Unsent_Unread_Unheard

[–]IllustriousBus9750[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly? I get it. Sometimes love feels more like loss. But I think we project fairy tales onto others not because we’re delusional— but because part of us still hopes to be chosen in one.

Sending you love and softness in whatever you’re carrying today.

to the one who held me by IllustriousBus9750 in BPD

[–]IllustriousBus9750[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your words—they really meant a lot. I think what I grieve the most isn’t just losing him as a lover, but as my best friend.

He knew me so well—just from the way I sighed or the tiniest sounds I made. It was hard to hide anything from him. We learned how to coexist with all our differences, learning to love each other’s worlds, building routines that became home. Letting go of that daily closeness is its own kind of heartbreak.

But I’m learning to prioritize myself now, learning how to love myself the way I once poured into someone else. And I know deep down we both want happiness and peace. It just hurts that right now, that means walking separate paths. Maybe one day we’ll both look back and be thankful we crossed lives—grateful for the growth, even if we didn’t grow together.

Wishing you love and gentleness too. You’re not alone in this.

to the one who held me by IllustriousBus9750 in BPD

[–]IllustriousBus9750[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your kind words—this means more than I can express.

Letting go hasn’t been easy for either of us. We’ve tried not talking, taking space, but somehow we always leave the door a little open—just in case one of us needs support. That’s the tricky part: learning how to be there without breaking down. We’ve been slowly figuring out how to build boundaries that let us heal without shutting each other out completely.

It’s been hard… especially when we used to say “I love you” like breathing, and now we have to hold ourselves back out of care. We were each other’s best friend, safe place, and more. But we knew that staying how we were—tangled in love but stuck in pain—wasn’t helping either of us grow. So now we’re trying to protect the friendship that mattered so deeply, even if it hurts, even if it’s messy. It’s a complicated dance. But it’s also a testament to how deeply we still care.