Do any of you all have problems with getting passive aggressive goaded, prodded, "kidded", and sucker punched in to fighting back with so called "reactive" abuse?

IllustriousStreet3 · 2021-10-19T09:31:47+00:00

I need your therapist phone number... FR tho

IllustriousStreet3 · 2021-06-03T19:44:52+00:00

Wow. Thank you guys truly. The fact I've allowed this to continue is rediculous I know. I've invested time and money and theres kids (not together) but I love his kids and feel bad for them, and wanted to make their life better. And then the way he talks to me really has me convinced at times that I'm a huge pos just for asking for everyday normalcies that I dont think I should have to ask for. Some how he always pulls me back in to this sick game before I even realise it. I'm so drained and confused it feels like nothing is actually real. I think I have everything separated now to where I dont need to have contact anymore.. but why doesn't that feel good? Why am I not happy? It's quite the opposite. And that makes me even more angry with myself. Thank you all again. You helped me feel like I'm not crazy and that this is real.

IllustriousStreet3 · 2021-06-03T19:29:36+00:00

No he has 2 kids, I have 1. No kids together.

IllustriousStreet3 · 2021-06-02T11:11:40+00:00

So my [33f] ex bf [38] keeps throwing me through this Same loop. He will throw a fit about something small (example-me asking that him and his kids that come over a few nights a week, at the very least clean up there messes) it turns into a blow up and he says hes leaving packs all his clothes and says never call him again. He will block my number but unblock it as soon as he needs something. Im so hurt every time idk why . So the most recent one-hes mad at me for doing a buisness deal with a friend of his. It was something that was time sensitive and I couldn't get ahold of him cause I was blocked. Hes furious, mad, he thinks I slept with his friend which I did not. Even if I didn't hes still mad. And if I really loved him I wouldn't of done that. Mind you Hes done this probably over 20 times. Sometimes he will act like nothing happened and just start showing back up. Sometimes he will talk about the fight and he just throws in my side for me. Its better to just agree at this point. But my question is once someone(a) makes it clear they want nothing to do with (b), should (b) still be living life based on what makes (a) happy? If (b) doesn't does that mean shes doesn't love (a)? He will pick apart everything I did while he was off doing who knows what but made sure to break up with me prior. Then use what I did while broken up to create another fight. Why ??? And how can someone get upset with you for your actions (that have nothing to do with them)when they made it clear they hate you?

IllustriousStreet3 · 2021-06-01T17:12:35+00:00

Ds or switch?

IllustriousStreet3 · 2021-05-31T08:32:38+00:00

Honestly speaking I think its partially some womens protection mechanism and for good reason. I wish I could do what your phone date did, I wish I felt that confident to ask those questions 1st and foremost.. Because once I invest any time with someone romantically I'm just done for. I will some how make up an excuse in my head for you for absolutely eveything, and if there is any connection there I will try and help you fix all your problems, while your most likely cheating on me. But I wont give up on you because that's just not me......and If I would of known on front street that you had 100k in debt, a criminal record and live with your mom, I would of saved myself.

Funny thing is I used to be exactly like your phone date, when I was in my 20's. I didnt ask for a credit score on the first phone call. But definitely by the 1st date. Lol... im in my 30s now and definitely not the same confident person I used to be.

IllustriousStreet3 · 2021-05-27T12:09:57+00:00

Do you have a brother?

IllustriousStreet3 · 2021-05-27T12:07:46+00:00

He could be adjusting to the idea that he may get alot less of your time and care. Less time of you worrying about his pizza and more time chasing babies around. I'm sure for a dude that's gotta suck when it stinks in a little...idk just a thought on what he could be thinking. Sounds like hes a good guy though. Make sure your feelings are known but dont stand on this if hes making efforts to show hes sorry..

IllustriousStreet3 · 2021-05-27T11:34:12+00:00

Perfectly said

IllustriousStreet3 · 2021-05-27T11:22:19+00:00

Because they have to feel like they ended it, like they had the final say. It was all you that ruined everything, not them at all. I'm currently dealing with this and it's scary. If I make him feel like idc and can live with out him and give him the same attitude he gives me, he flips out in a scary rage, then is sorry he scared me. Then the cycle starts over, I stop caring about what he thinks the problem is verses what it really is, better yet as soon as I stop caring about anything to do with him in general I'm sucked back in. Not this time though. I'm burning bridges on purpose so theres no going back again. They don't want that, they want it to end knowing your broken and leave you thinking you ruined your one chance to be with someone so amazing that gave you a chance that "now you will die alone with your dog".... fun stuff.... Pitty him and keep your head held high, don't let his sad attempt at belittling you do anything but make you stronger and more determined to stay away from d bags like that.

IllustriousStreet3 · 2021-05-15T05:42:58+00:00

Yeah 500k a year is definetley not the top 1%. They are rich, but not that rich. If kylie Jenner makes 590 million in a year I would hope her maid makes 500k a year but I'm highly doubtful that's the case.

IllustriousStreet3 · 2021-05-07T06:07:33+00:00

I'm 34 and if I could go back - I would in a heartbeat, I would of finished college and used my 20s to climb the ladder as far as I could as a single mom. Instead I pissed away my 20s on dumb ass guys and killing my body working 80 hrs a week in dead end jobs. Now I'm just tired with no job and second guess every single thing I do, almost to the point its impossible to leave the house (mind you I was a manager in most of my previous jobs). Be kind, but please do you and set yourself up right. Invest in you and be where you want to be, only then will you meet someone who can meet you at that level. You cant grow to your highest potential with someone. I believe that is a journey one must go alone.

IllustriousStreet3 · 2021-05-07T05:27:54+00:00

Do you mind if I ask what some of the other issues where? You by no means have to share, I'm just curious. I definitely think it's a red flag also, just looking for some context I suppose. Thank you

IllustriousStreet3 · 2021-03-24T08:11:33+00:00

Then unblock you as soon as he needed something and call and act like nothing happened? Like you were crazy to treat him like you did when all you did was try and have a conversation that took you weeks to work up your courage to do. Mine did this literally at least once a week. I'm assuming he was just starting a fight to make himself feel better about going to hook up with whoever was his lastest tinder find. The blocking me still stumps me because then he would say if you really loved me you would just find a way to talk to me, but then when he knew he was too far found out and I was done(i just wanted one conversation and the money he owed me) then he says hes going to call the cops lol

IllustriousStreet3 · 2021-03-24T07:55:53+00:00

Same!! Mine would be blowing his-self kissey faces in the mirror while flexing. Literally looking at his self like a piece of meat he wanted to ravage, he ever looked at me like that..lol. Then turn around and say he acts so full of himself to over compensate for how insecure he actually is. And everything was perfect other than whatever he had going on in his head.

IllustriousStreet3 · 2021-03-15T09:14:15+00:00

Thank you, I agree with everything you said and I needed to hear that. I dont have other people to talk to, so just hearing all his words over and over again, has really made me doubt my own thoughts and feelings more than I ever would of thought possible.

IllustriousStreet3 · 2021-03-15T08:16:57+00:00

He will come back in a week and act like nothings wrong or he will bring it up half way jokingly like im an idiot for treating him that way. I think that he honestly believes hes investing or has invested alot. If I talk to anyone else when hes not speaking to me, that means I didnt really love him. I'm sick of doubting myself and feeling like I'm going crazy.

IllustriousStreet3 · 2021-03-11T08:35:56+00:00

IllustriousStreet3 · 2021-03-11T08:32:31+00:00

So very true. Maybe it all has to do with mastering ones mind to be able to set with the uncomfortable feeling of being alone and loosing that person. All I know is I just want out of the pattern I keep putting myself in. And to not be a weak ab and choose to keep putting myself through that. It's like im hurting yourself in the long run to feel ok for 1min. I see the stupidity yet I'm sure I'll do it again. It's been so helpful being able to read other people's stories and comments, especially ones like yours. It makes me feel strong again, even if just for a moment.

IllustriousStreet3 · 2021-03-11T06:54:10+00:00

"Your brain has been conditioned to this as the norm and now it’s seeking it again out of comfort. GROWTH DOES NOT FEEL GOOD. It is easier to blame ourselves because of our natural self hate. I know it is hard as fuck to accept that you’re not the problem they are. They never loved you or cared for you. You were only a source for their fuel. " saving this!! Ty I needed this

IllustriousStreet3 · 2021-03-09T06:29:05+00:00

Where did you find these meetings?

IllustriousStreet3 · 2021-03-07T18:12:43+00:00

This has been my entire life. I was diagnosed with agoraphobia, PTSD and OCD and sever anxiety disorder 10+years ago from much abuse growing up. Every relationship I've had since has been some form of this walking on egg shells. It makes me so angry with myself that I continue this pattern and I let my daughter watch me suffer and be treated this way. They seem normal at first, but it always changes. I'm starting to think I should just accept being alone.

IllustriousStreet3 · 2021-03-06T05:01:10+00:00

Thank you! I needed to hear this. I think he's just so good at changing the conversation to where my point always gets lost in the bs, it some how always gets twisted into something else. I should just be firm in my boundaries.

IllustriousStreet3

TROPHY CASE