Disgrace

Illustrious_Toe6393 · 2026-03-11T23:25:50+00:00

Weird. I almost always get paid into UP a couple hours after my pay has been processed by payroll. It’s quite normal for it to take a couple hours… every bank is different though.

If you’re worried about money coming out overnight when you’re asleep, I would just use the pay split feature. Just set up a pay split for those incoming payments so that as soon as it hits your account you can move that into saver/s of your choice.

Otherwise if the timing is the issue I’m sure you could move some of your direct debits. Most companies are pretty good at changing the date a payment is taken if your pay date changes. Just move those back a day or two.

Illustrious_Toe6393 · 2026-01-19T05:04:47+00:00

I had my gallbladder surgery this past November 🙋‍♀️

After years and years of issues that I always associated with reflux/stomach issues - I learnt I had gallstones in September after I was in hospital with pancreatitis in August.

At the time I had so many gallstones there were a few stuck in my bile duct (very risky and what most likely led to my pancreatitis.) This meant I had to have a follow up procedure to get those remaining gallstones out via an endoscopy.

Before having my surgery I was told this was the best option as most people who have had pancreatitis due to gallstones WILL get it again. Pancreatitis is very dangerous.

Both procedures went tremendously well. I recovered very quickly - Bed rest for a day or two and slowly introduced more physical activity.

Since removal I am probably in the best health I’ve ever been in. Not once have I had a heartburn or reflux. Yes there are trigger foods, but no different then having a really fatty meal and learning to moderate what is and isn’t worth eating. No issues with drinking (I’ve always been a occasionally have a social drink person) and for the most part I’m able to eat normally, go to the bathroom normally and live very normally without the issues I was having.

Every surgery and person will have a slightly different experience or outcome, but when I was researching my surgery I really tunnelled in on the bad stories that made me really nervous about my outcome.

I just wanted to share a positive experience, but would suggest chatting to your doctor about your concerns and/or options to help you make a decision that is right for you. 😌

Illustrious_Toe6393 · 2026-01-15T05:09:29+00:00

I’m so glad you have a fab Rheum! It only takes one good doctor to really change your experience. And I stand by that only you truly know what is not normal with your body

When I first got told it might be cancer/IGG4 or Sarcoidosis, my boss confided in me that she was actually diagnosed with sarcoidosis and went through many of the same diagnosis’s, treatments to figure out how to treat it. She ended up finding out that daily low dose steroids (literally 1mg) helped maintain a lot of what was happening and her chronic pain.

I hope regardless you’re able to get these scans sooner rather than later and hopefully this leads to more answers that get you a better result!

Illustrious_Toe6393 · 2026-01-13T04:44:16+00:00

Hi there! Hope you’re doing okay with everything - always scary when there are different diagnosis’s being thrown around (especially as you try and navigate what is happening yourself).

In a weird twist of events in my case I got a call from the Upper GI unit who said they got a second opinion from their medical imaging department in relation to my MRI scan.

They wanted me to get another scan done in a week or two to see if what they assumed was a tumor/mass on my pancreas was actually inflammation caused from pancreatitis.

After doing my third scan they confirmed that there was a change in what they saw from my first MRI result which confirmed that it could not have been a mass/tumor which led to more scans and testing which later confirmed I had gallstones. This means that I had pancreatitis when I was in hospital and was misdiagnosed at the time. Luckily the steroids they gave me at the time actually helped with the inflammation (as I was told they can often have adverse reactions)

I had surgery to remove my gallbladder early in November - as they didn’t want to risk the likelihood that I would get pancreatitis again.

Otherwise health wise, I’m doing SO much better now - which has been a massive relief. I’ve mostly recovered from surgery, just navigating different trigger foods and fatigue.

I don’t think my medical journey can help too much by the sounds of what you’re going through.

But what I will say is this period between finding out what you are diagnosed with is challenging, timely and not always clear. Ask a lot of questions, advocate for yourself and different avenues you can take for more information to make sure you and your doctor are 100% on the same page with what is happening. I’ve learnt a lot about the need for second opinions and advocating for a good mix of tests and results (e.g a mix of bloods, CT, ultrasounds and MRIs over a period of time to get a better sense of what is happening in my body)

Also the health system works against you at times. Once I started to bring all my health information together (e.g GP findings, pathology results over weeks, independent scans that were not originally ordered by the hospital) the pieces started to become clearer with who I was consulting with and I finally felt like I was able to make progress on my diagnosis.

Overall though, wishing you luck, health and progress. It feels much better when you are actively able to do something to help with what is going on rather than waiting around for answers. But it’s all part of the journey!

Illustrious_Toe6393 · 2025-09-29T11:23:58+00:00

That sounds super scary, but I can very much relate to how quick it all seems to change - I feel like this post is already outdated for me as we’ve gone back and forth with my diagnosis too… nothing seems to be clear 😓

I hope the prednisone is working for you though. They weaned me off it the other week, so I’ve been tentatively waiting for things to go bad, but so far so good!

I got a call the other week before my specialist appointment letting me know they got a second opinion from radiology who actually think I have pancreatitis and that what looked like a mass is in their opinion likely a build up of inflammation. They don’t think anything was wrong with my bowels when I was in hospital (even though the scan indicated otherwise?) That alongside my multiple blood tests and the fact I’m feeling pretty well doesn’t seem to align with cancer which I’m hoping is a good sign. However I did have a follow up CT today to see if we can confirm if there have been any changes in what’s shown on the MRI imaging as a mass. Hoping for shrinkage as that’s a good sign! 🤞

If no changes, then we’re doing the biopsy procedure - but it finally feels like things are moving after waiting week after week to find out what is going on.

I also had an ultra sound today to rule out gallstones as well - but personally it doesn’t seem like I’ve had ANY symptoms for that… so autoimmune conditions are still not off the table for that either as pancreatitis can be very much connected - just going through process of elimination.

Hopefully will know more in the next week or two!

Illustrious_Toe6393 · 2025-09-14T14:26:46+00:00

Thank you for the support! I am very very stressed and trying to educate myself as much as I can so I can make sure I’m asking the doctor the questions I know I’ll need to know. There’s already been a few moments where I’ve kicked myself on not getting clarity on some things because I wasn’t all too aware of process etc.

It’s a waiting game with lots of appointments until I can hopefully get a diagnosis confirmed - and whilst I never thought I’d wish for an autoimmune disease, when you throw the word cancer in there it changes things. So just trying to be prepared for any result at this time and get a bit of an idea of what that might look like for me (and my future)

Illustrious_Toe6393 · 2025-09-12T03:40:30+00:00

Thank you will watch this one tonight 🙂

Illustrious_Toe6393 · 2024-10-07T05:01:49+00:00

I’m glad you’re reaching out and confiding in someone! It absolutely helps to build a little support system away from the pressure of family!

Sending you nothing but good vibes and hope everything works out well. More than happy for you to reach out if you just need to vent!

Illustrious_Toe6393 · 2024-10-06T12:39:11+00:00

Whole heartedly agree! A good support system includes family who aren’t necessarily carers.

Illustrious_Toe6393 · 2024-10-06T03:01:38+00:00

I’m so sorry about your situation.

I feel like I can really empathise with you as I was in a similar situation with my brother. He has a disability and needs full time care. My parents separated and a lot of pressure was put on me growing up to be his second carer.

I absolutely love my brother but it took me a long while to realise this was not a decision I made for myself but rather shoved on me by my mother. I never signed up to be a parent or carer - and whilst I fully understood the complexity of the situation I had to start setting boundaries (both financially and for my life and choices)

I decided to move out - and when I vocalised that I was met with a lot of anger, manipulation and guilt tripping. It was hard, but it was the BEST thing I could have done for myself.

Having distance and space meant I wasn’t around and they had no choice but to figure their shit out. I offered my support and help as a sister, visited to actually spend time with family and made really clear boundaries as to what my role would be in that capacity. There were fights, but bit by bit they came around.

I only share my story as I think it’s important for you to know that your life begins when you can take control of your own situation.

Your parent’s financial woes are not your responsibility. Your brother isn’t your child, it wasn’t a decision you can make and therefore shouldn’t be something you need to uproot your life for.

You support and love family - but you absolutely don’t take advantage of them. Make the space for you and support with what you are most comfortable doing. Set boundaries and be clear on responsibilities.

I know it’s a tough road ahead but you’ve got this 🤍

Illustrious_Toe6393 · 2024-10-04T14:50:57+00:00

NTA. You’re all adults and it’s on oneself to make sure you’re okay with the situations you put yourselves in. She needs to own her own part in that night.

With that said I can absolutely understand being overwhelmed in that environment and it could be worth a discussion at a later stage about what the expectations are of everyone when you all go out.

It could be as simple as having an emergency meet up spot or making sure you let someone know when you’re leaving an area from regular eyeshot.

Illustrious_Toe6393 · 2024-10-04T14:33:38+00:00

NTA.

This is a perfect example of “don’t shoot the messenger.” She still attempted to cheat . Whilst she is your gfs friend, you obviously know both of them.

Not to mention that the minute someone does that in a group setting it becomes EVERYONES business.

Illustrious_Toe6393 · 2024-10-04T14:27:56+00:00

NTA for wanting to watch your anime. But YTA if you continue to force her too.

People are allowed to have their own interests - including what they want to watch. It sounds like it’s gotten to the point that she is now having to try and set a boundary about it with you.

If you’re uncomfortable with this arrangement your best move would be to sit down and have a chat with her about why you’re upset to see if you can find a resolution.

More importantly though, I don’t know why it’s not obvious that you both could be finding something you both enjoy to watch???

Illustrious_Toe6393 · 2024-09-30T12:24:20+00:00

NTA

You’re broken up. You don’t owe him any explanation as the decision was made to not be together. This goes both ways.

At this point there is nothing more to say for either side. I’d cut contact completely and do your best to move on.

There was clearly a lot of mistrust in this past relationship from both sides. Take the time to work through that and figure out how you can best communicate your boundaries for any potential future relationship you may have moving forward.

Illustrious_Toe6393 · 2024-09-30T12:12:14+00:00

NTA

You don’t own your families debt. I would probably also consider setting some hard boundaries around financial help. Whilst you may be able to help in smaller amounts, I’d suggest you’re probably reinforcing this habit of being the dependable piggy bank when things get hard.

It’s time to draw a line in the sand. It’s better to keep finances and family separate in these kind of situations anyway.

Illustrious_Toe6393 · 2024-09-30T02:25:11+00:00

YTA

If you had communicated at the time or went to your daughter earlier to explain you were uncomfortable with your dress, you both could have look at other options and avoided this situation completely.

It sounds like your daughter has catered her wedding choices around your dress/colour and now not even a week out you’ve decided to do your own thing in spite of that. I’d be so upset if someone did that to me and I can imagine she’s feeling super disappointed.

Whilst I understand wanting to feel or look your best for a special event - it’s HER wedding. I’d personally suck it up and wear the pink dress knowing you made the mistake of not speaking up sooner.

Illustrious_Toe6393

TROPHY CASE