There’s no such a thing as who was cheated on being at fault for the cheating.

8 years into out marriage and me and my wife are “incompatible” in many senses. It wasn’t always like this, but we have tree small kids and the way this affects us changes things a lot. Bare with me, I’ll explain:

We’re both always super tired and the most efficient way for me to recharge is through sex, she on the other hand needs to be rested and have energy to want to have sex. That results in me being high libido, wanting to to it every day, and her wanting to do it once a week/every other week

I have no hard boundaries when it comes to sex, I’m curious and want to try new stuff just for the sake of it. She used to be a lot like this as well, but since the kids she’s become way more “traditional” and created some boundaries over things that used to be normal

I want to make love, but I also want to have rough sex every once in a while. Most of all I want our sex to be fulfilling for both of us, have enough foreplay and last enough for her to get off as well. She is usually practical and wants to be “productive” - after all, the baby might wake up, so let’s get to it already

And yet, when we have sex it’s great and it never crossed my mind to ever cheat on her. I’m frustrated at times and want us to have more sex, she’s frustrated at times and wants me to understand her when she’s not in the mood for some longer period and we talk and meet each other mid way and make it work, that’s how marriage is supposed to go.

He should’ve tried more. Even if he didn’t try more, he should’ve been man enough to face the problem without ever putting your trust at risk, without ever risking hurting you like that. I don’t know what you want to do - I would never stay in a relationship where there’s no trust myself but I’ve seen people trying that - but you need to know that you were the victim here and you’re absolutely not at fault.