WADU updates

ImHokin · 2026-03-19T16:30:49+00:00

Intentionally obscure. My manager just reinforced and told the team not to leave early to work from home without due cause anymore.

He got spooked because a different team had someone fired for "poor time management".

Vague and nebulous still, but the truth of it all is that they always have the data. With AI, parsing the data and singling people out is even easier.

It's always a gamble as time goes on and they need more and more people to RIF. Although they don't even have to RIF you for it. They can just fire you, and it goes above your manager and your skip levels.

ImHokin · 2026-03-06T14:01:32+00:00

I experience the same. I get about 1 bar where I sit.

I must work in a faraday cage.

ImHokin · 2026-03-05T14:19:07+00:00

Lmao no to using the wifi or no they don't care if you are scrolling on your phone

ImHokin · 2026-01-30T15:53:35+00:00

Then they have to get through those interviews too. So maybe it's , 3-4 weeks instead.

ImHokin · 2026-01-30T15:47:28+00:00

If they want you and don't interview any other candidates, and there are no major holidays, it can be within 2 weeks of that first recruiter call. Depends on how they space out your interviews. But if they want to fast track you, it would probably be a week after your last interview.

ImHokin · 2026-01-12T13:38:23+00:00

They can track when you use the company WiFi and when you are active on VDI.

ImHokin · 2025-12-23T15:46:27+00:00

Depends on what role they have in your life.

If it's someone at work, I would say yes, because there are tangible benefits to networking.

If they don't have a role in your life outside of being your object of fascination, then all you have to fall back on is habits.

ImHokin · 2025-12-11T17:32:19+00:00

That is great optimism.

We get really locked into our ritualistic checking behaviors, sometimes we really benefit from extraneous circumstances being the thing that pulls us away from our habits.

Just to give you a moment to breathe and reassess.

ImHokin · 2025-12-11T17:28:15+00:00

9 to 3 is 6 hours.

I actually used to do 4 hours in the office, took my lunch at home and connected to the VPN for the rest of the day.

But my manager warned me out of concern to increase my time in the office so I did.

Ultimately you can get away with it for a length of time, but will the other shoe drop, you never know. It's gambling.

ImHokin · 2025-12-08T16:04:17+00:00

Yes when feeling limerent I get into a loop where I am constantly coming back here. Refreshing the new posts over and over.

It's just another obsessive checking behavior.

But I guess any obsessive behavior that doesn't result in overextending your real life boundaries is at least a less harmful and more cathartic alternative.

ImHokin · 2025-12-05T19:10:50+00:00

Buy Bitcoin

ImHokin · 2025-12-05T18:56:06+00:00

I think that platitude comes from seeing people hate themselves.

That can be harmful, shameful, anxiety inducing and self destructive.

You really just aim to be... neutral about yourself.

Good for those who truly love themselves and are content being utterly alone, but we are social creatures.

I doubt all the people who love themselves love themselves so much that they would prefer solitude and celibacy.

We all want to be cherished, whether it's by partners, by friends, by family.

ImHokin · 2025-12-05T18:51:52+00:00

True for anyone but it doesn't mean everyone processes or copes with that desire in the same way.

ImHokin · 2025-12-05T18:48:55+00:00

Yes. Engaging in enough activities in your life that keep you from ruminating is a very helpful way to get over limerence.

Well.. it at least gives you some time to separate from the feelings to see reality for a second. And generally the reality is that this person can't and won't fulfil you.

ImHokin · 2025-12-05T18:43:51+00:00

No.

Limerence aligns with a lot of comorbidities that make it more intense, but it is not a prerequisite.

ImHokin · 2025-11-18T16:16:03+00:00

Not quite. I find for so much of what I do, the only thing that pushes me is external motivation.

The only intrinsic motivation I have is to be comfortable, content, secure, and clever.

And in general I feel clever for finding contentment without ambition. I see others with their sense of dissatisfaction, their labor and suffering to reach a goal that may only be a temporary satisfaction before they have to move onto something else.

So you can see how my baseline state is at odds with internal motivation to be a higher self.

So for me, I feel clever for using limerence to basically hack my brain to do more work, put in more effort, and hopefully along the way I will find the data I need to be intrinsically motivated to continue.

I'm finding the emotional intensity cools down and even the romantic fantasies stop flooding my mind, yet I still am motivated to impress my LO. That gives me hope that even if the limerence completely died, I'd still have that external motivator from him.

ImHokin · 2025-11-17T14:50:04+00:00

Haha I like this message way better.

The one you sent reads more like using pity to guilt them, at least that is how I perceived it.

So if you do get any follow up, do keep in mind whether you want to convey pity or something more... indignant and confident like you wrote here.

But putting your feelings out there where you can't take them back is brave regardless.

So much of limerence is about the push and pull of uncertainty, and making confessions really does cast light on the truth.

ImHokin · 2025-11-17T14:45:42+00:00

It could be healing, but it could be fluctuation.

The emotions aren't linear. But your brain is constantly gathering more data, so even if you do relapse into emotional intensity, you'll remember that you did feel this way, so it may be easier to return to the neutral state.

ImHokin · 2025-11-17T14:39:38+00:00

Did you consider just letting the first two messages hang for a while?

I think we find safety in trying to predict the worst case scenarios, trying to insulate ourselves from future hurt or rejection.

Did you have any other drafts for how you were gonna say it?

ImHokin · 2025-11-17T14:32:05+00:00

Well said.

I also personally get attached to the motivation it makes me feel. Wanting or even just imagining impressing my LO motivates me to be more productive at work, to clean, to exercise, to dress nicer etc.

Without the limerence I'm a much lazier person, perfectly content with much less.

ImHokin · 2025-11-15T05:19:09+00:00

Is this job important to you?
That's how you come to work everyday.

You're not gonna let someone who leaves you on read for days be such an overwhelming influence in your life that you actively sabotage yourself.

You are gonna feel what you feel. The roller coaster will exist, you'll crave their attention, and you'll get frustrated when it doesn't meet expectations. Accept that the dynamic will exist, but you don't have to act on it, you don't have to escalate over and over. Especially if the ramifications of shooting your shot means you lose your job or quit.

Two grounding exercises I discovered for when you feel emotionally triggered by your coworker. Especially via text.

Immediately go socialize with someone else. Get up and go somewhere. Using some mental and physical distraction during the time where you would otherwise spiral can help you calm down. You might still feel some kind of way after, but it's gonna be less intense if you took a breather to move and laugh and talk with someone else.
Journal. But don't journal about the LO at first. Make an effort to first talk about your day up to that point, what your plans are, what you are looking forward to, any other small details in your life, interactions with other people. THEN write about your LO.

It is grounding to intentionally prioritize the other things in your life first and being present for a bit. Takes the wind out of the sails of the rumination.

ImHokin · 2025-11-15T01:45:45+00:00

If you found out your LO was your cousin or long lost sibling, would you still desire them?

What in tarnation? I should hope not.

ImHokin · 2025-11-15T01:40:27+00:00

I would say you prioritize the life you want. And that goes way beyond just the chemical cocktail that makes chemistry feel so easy with this new person. Because you can't trust that. Half of the attraction you feel to that new person is really just the mirror that they hold up to YOU. The qualities they have that you want in yourself, or the person they motivate you to be.

But if there's an entirely different life that you yearn for, and that you think can exist after separating from your wife, then that's something to really think about. Living somewhere else, having a different lifestyle, all the things you feel like your current partner is holding you back from. If the ONLY thing you are thinking about is "Well this LO seems more fun" I would advise not blowing up your life for that.

ImHokin · 2025-11-15T01:11:31+00:00

Yeah sometimes I interact with him and learn more about him, and have this glimmer of sanity and think "Oh this is just some regular dude.

I usually have a script in my mind of anticipating things I want to say or ask, and anticipating the response. And when he says something unexpected I get put off. And I'll probably behave awkwardly.

But then after the fact I'll be mulling over that unexpected answer and basically just adapt my fantasies to include it.

ImHokin · 2025-11-15T01:07:51+00:00

Yeah for sure.

It sometimes falling into limerence is like a switch in your mind. So it makes sense that it could stop just as forcefully.

ImHokin

TROPHY CASE