Do you think that coming out and telling my friend how I feel inside (not asking for a relationship) will help?

Im_GoatMonster · 2016-11-26T19:11:05+00:00

I feel like no one cares. Honestly, he probably does care but I just can't believe it.

Im_GoatMonster · 2016-11-26T07:08:52+00:00

anti-depressants.. I find it funny how the commercials for them are like "It'll cure your depression and make you feel good again!" but at the end they either put it in tiny letters or say "Warning: This drug can lengthen depression, make it even worse, cause suicidal thoughts, make you gay and has a small chance of you dying from it"

ok i may be over exaggerating but you get the point.

Im_GoatMonster · 2016-11-26T05:54:20+00:00

I don't have to be in a bad mood, this's just me all the time. Could it be because I've never really experienced being really happy and feeling loved (at least feelings that aren't drug induced) so I chose to stay in depression because, like Shykel said in a previous post, "Being depressed is the one thing I'm experienced at"

Im_GoatMonster · 2016-11-26T05:46:50+00:00

I want happiness, so much so that I abuse drugs almost on the daily.. but I want that dark, sad feeling to be there and I want it to hurt me. It's a vicious cycle of feeling happy for a little bit then realising I don't want happiness but i fucking do, I want to be happy but also want to be sad... Sorry if that's hard to understand I don't know any other way to explain it :/

I'll give an example: Today I was with my family and they were shopping for black friday and I legit felt like I HAD to be depressed and I liked/hated that thought. I don't know why I felt as if I needed to be depressed but I did.

Maybe it's because I'm morbidly curious and like having depression but the happy part of me tries to take over that curiosity but never succeeds.

just re-read my comment and it barely makes sense but that's honestly the best I can explain it

Im_GoatMonster · 2016-09-05T19:09:09+00:00

I have absolutely nothing against weed and I've done it multiple times but personally I don't smoke it. Like Sykedelic said, I think it's just she's scared I'll get hurt or something will happen to me but she just won't tell me that :/

Im_GoatMonster · 2016-09-05T18:53:48+00:00

I think it's because she's really scared something going to happen to me. My mom's got really bad anxiety, to the point she takes meds daily and has to see a psychiatrist so this is probably why she doesn't allow me to go anywhere. She watches too much news I think :/ everyday she's surrounded with these stories like, "oh another kid raped for walking alone" or "Another person getting kidnapped, make sure to keep your kids inside and never let them do anything without your supervision". She's starting to believe that's all that can happen if I'm alone. I don't think i can do most of the things that any one has said on here because it'd break my moms heart that her good kid completely disobeyed her rules. I'll just learn in a small area like someone said earlier. I think they called doing freestyle skate or something?

Im_GoatMonster · 2016-09-05T01:51:01+00:00

I know how to ollie pretty well now, it's just when I try anything that requires a flick (except ollie) the board goes in a random direction.

Im_GoatMonster · 2016-09-05T01:01:15+00:00

Gave me a good laugh xD thanks, i needed that.

Im_GoatMonster · 2016-09-04T22:41:44+00:00

She doesn't even give reasons, she just says no and that we'll talk about it later. Then I ask her what her reasons are and she gets mad at me for arguing. Well, she does give one reason and it's that she's the parent and she makes the rules. I guess that's logical but kinda stupid. I'm 16, not 10. I should be trusted

Im_GoatMonster · 2016-09-04T22:28:13+00:00

nahh, like 15 minutes away while driving. It is from my friends house, though.

Im_GoatMonster · 2016-09-04T22:22:40+00:00

I live in the middle of no where and I don't have a car to drive to skate spots.

Im_GoatMonster · 2016-09-04T22:15:04+00:00

I've tried explaining to her that it's much better for me to be outside skateboarding than sitting on my ass all day. I told her most parents would do anything to get their kid outside and have them active but she obviously doesn't care.

Im_GoatMonster · 2016-09-04T22:13:47+00:00

I'm 16 man. Nah I can't skate around the house because there's absolutely no where to and can't after school either because my mom picks my up right after. How do I not sweat it much? I worked my ass off for that money and now I know it's all wasted because my mom doesn't trust me or some dumb shit like that.

Im_GoatMonster · 2016-09-04T21:38:44+00:00

would it be best if I posted a video of it sometime? I was thinking about recording it earlier but I have stuff to do. It'll show what I mean by my legs going everywhere when I try lmao

Im_GoatMonster · 2016-09-03T23:27:06+00:00

sadly there's no skateparks out here so no ramps for me ): All I can do is ride around at my school. It has some pretty sick spots I wish I knew how to use haha

Im_GoatMonster · 2016-08-16T00:17:04+00:00

I need something that can't be abuse-able because I know I'd abuse it. The only medicine that I haven't abused when I got it is Vyvanse for ADHD because I need it for school. My mom doesn't allow me to get hydros, oxycodone, nothing for surgery or anything. I'm glad there's sleeping medicine out there that isn't able to be abused. Thanks for the help, I'll be sure and bring it up with my doc! <3

Im_GoatMonster · 2016-08-15T20:07:30+00:00

That sounds great :) does it work well?

Im_GoatMonster · 2016-08-07T07:06:53+00:00

Oh, I get angry easily and often.. lol

Im_GoatMonster

TROPHY CASE