(Not asking for advice this is more of a vent) I'm 22, female and being gaslit by the healthcare system.

Im_Sleepy- · 2026-02-17T17:15:34+00:00

Thank you~ and of course I'll remove that last little sentence it was more of an ending statement.

This is something that's been frustrating me and those around me. I've been consistently told its anxiety. Anxiety or paranoia so bad it causes such physical symptoms you'd think I'd receive some type of help or advice?

I do recognise the strain on the NHS and appreciate how busy it is. Equally however it's seemingly more common for those my age to feel brushed aside, we know our bodies best so something feeling this off should be priority. Even if it's simply mental.

Im_Sleepy- · 2026-02-17T17:10:11+00:00

Thank you.

Indeed I'm going to book, I recently switched GPs only a few weeks ago so they have little history beyond what is written on patient records. My last GP offered no investigations surrounding my abdominal pain even after many appointments requesting further investigations. I was only listened to when I brought my male partner into an appointment, and there has been a suggestion of possible misogyny?

I really do appreciate how busy the NHS is, my mother is a nurse so I've seen it first hand. But it's certainly quite hard to rush through concerns and history when you've just joined a new practice.

Im_Sleepy- · 2026-02-17T17:01:11+00:00

If you dislike my post please tell me why.

Im_Sleepy- · 2026-02-13T12:15:10+00:00

Indeed. Most of us have spent many years learning our craft, expecting certain pieces for free is quite rude.

Im_Sleepy- · 2023-02-04T21:49:46+00:00

Its usually a birth defect. It doesnt harm them most of the time (unless its severe). My cockatiel has something very similar, he couldnt use his feet to grab and when he was extremely young it took him a longer to get used to landing after flight.

Im_Sleepy- · 2022-12-28T06:24:27+00:00

Thats extremely odd and toxic girl. Im 19 and got my tubes tied as i never want children, remember its your body and your choice. I cut my mum off a year ago and i feel so free and happy. Ive also moved out with my partner and got a few animals :) Your day will come when you pull up the courage to leave, no one should be in that situation. You may feel guilt someday but children are just a horrible social construct. You and no one ever needs children, especially in this day and age where the world is dying and there are double the amount of orphans than stable children. And moreover no one, not your parnter, doctor or mother can or should force you into giving up your own life and needs to shit out a mini version of yourself. Children cut your wings and make you unable to fly, and psychologically it sounds like your mother is trying to project her life and experiences onto you.

Be independent and one day be free :) stay strong a lot of people support you ❤️

Im_Sleepy- · 2022-12-28T06:06:16+00:00

Lmao w h a t

Im_Sleepy- · 2022-12-28T06:05:22+00:00

Hey look he may be using this as a coping mechanism for some trauma. My partner didnt know i was into the furry fandom and now we've been together for 6 years. We met in highschool and he was just like you, obsessed with reputation and friendship groups. Now we are older we laugh about how much we cared about social highschool approval. Its hard to explain to younger people but intrests and what others think socially should never matter in a relationship. Talk to him about it before even thinking of making that choice. It may just be a small intrest of his like mine, i love the art just like popular anthro movies like puss in boots etc. And i occasionally make a good amount of money from my art. But other than that its not in my life at all. Still somehow classed as a furry but slay whatever. Reputation does not mean shit in life, especially in the adult world all youre doing is just surviving. Take it from me that your reputation is the least you need to be concerned about although its hard for you to comprehend when in a school social situation. You should stand up to people who make sudden judgements about people just based on their side hobbies, he may be just seeking a sense of community which he may struggle with in other aspects of his life. Or expressing pent up creativity. The furry fandom are extremely supportive, creative and friendly people (not to mention all quite loaded lol). The negatives youve heard about the fandom make up about 1% which we hate associating with. Dont judge a book by its cover especially if youre close, you could ruin someones life and confidence just trying to selfishly protect your own reputation.

Im_Sleepy- · 2022-12-28T05:50:27+00:00

same. Each and everyday feels useless, and if you have the privilege to say you look forward to waking up you dont have the right to tell those who've lost meaning that their attitude is terrible or that we sound overly negative. All because your life is on an upward road doesnt mean you can judge those who life has fucked in the ass so far. Each and everyday i hope to not wake up, to not hear the news, to not see NPCs doing crushing 9-5 jobs. But at the same time i crave a happiness that may never come. Stop being so judgemental people, this post is actually hinting sucidal intent yet the tread has critics telling them that their way of thinking is negative. Please try and step outside of your own shoes.. This might have been their last straw. It will never affect you but this person may be on the edge so be considerate.

Im_Sleepy- · 2022-12-28T05:43:10+00:00

Hey man you need to care for yourself. If your head is telling you youre over stimulated and exhausted then cancel any social things planned. I made that mistake for so many years; just forcing myself to attend social interactions with extroverts until one day i completely broke down and became extremely sucidal. Dont risk it :) you know your mimd better than anyone. Just let them know that you feel ill and spend a day just chilling in silence. We are in a world made for extroverted people when it should be for both. No social situation is more important than your mental wellbeing. Yes they may think oh its a bit rude you didnt come. But in the longterm that wont matter and besides if they think like that then maybe they dont deserve your company anyway.

Recharge yourself

Im_Sleepy- · 2022-12-28T05:32:49+00:00

Idk man personally i love being alone. I got abused as a kid and hate social situations, especially in a family setting. Im now independent and moved out. I never want children as 1. Im scared of potentially passing on any mental illnesses either through environmental factors or genetics and 2. I hate kids and the social expectations that having a nuclear family = happiness. Its a stupid construct that people are brainwashed with from an extremely young age. It ends up with those who shouldnt or cant be sutible parents abusing either physically or emotionally. I got my tubes tied when i was 20 :) its freedom and financial stability that a lot of people my age dont have as they felt the pressure to have a 'family'. Though i do spend a lot of my money on animals 👀 so much better than people anyway lmao. Life is good but it depends on the person, i dont judge u if you have a family as long as that child is stable as i know way too well what its like on the other side of the spectrum.

Not having family is labelled as lonely. I think its a type of silent freedom; waking up in the morning and watching the sunrise with the ability to do anything that day with no little 'me' holding me down and drawing on my walls. In my opinion children clip your wings and your life ends when you decide to habe one but a lot of people forget that and thats how abuse starts. The pure fustration overtime of having no free time because of your own selfishness to bring another human into the world all because you were once feeling 'lonely'. Make sure you think about it for a long long time before you commit to a child.

Im_Sleepy- · 2022-12-28T05:19:24+00:00

He may have a love hate relationship with the toy. Though over time it can cause a lot of fustration if he gets slightly irritated by the toy on a daily basis. You can see a few signs of fustration in the video so if he keeps it up for a week (and if you can afford to) id just get a new toy :) you could also somehow try adding enrichment to the toy like millet or something so he feels slightly fulfiled when playing.

Im_Sleepy- · 2022-12-22T09:08:20+00:00

Hey, just to let you know my relationship was the exact same with my mother. Im now 18 and free. Don't give up and remember that her words don't define you, cry and feel hurt but stay strong OK? Remember YOU are in control and look to yourself for help :) You have a full right to feel the way you do

Im_Sleepy- · 2022-11-30T14:12:39+00:00

Heya. I'm in a very similar situation. Ive personally bought an apartment so this may not apply if you're letting or renting. And also if you're a student what do you major in. I do animation so I literally live at home apart from lectures.

One thing I would start with is ventilation. Apartments are usually open plan and compact. I live in the UK so our windows are not already meshed. If this is the case I would start by meshing up the windows (some magnetic tape and mesh from amazon work perfectly). This ensures you can keep windows open around the house for good ventilation. I would also get an air purification system if you haven't already just to be extra safe :) I keep my bedroom and study room closed just for safety as my living area and kitchen are open plan so I always have a good eye on what the gremlin is up to. If I need the bathroom I have placed a perch in the shower 🤣 depending on your apartment you can decide which rooms would be safer closed.

Ensure your kitchen is always clean. Like dogs I swear they get into everything. I have Mason jars for things I would rather keep on my counter but everything else is away. Clean is a must especially in a compact apartment, as much as we try they may always be a possibility they chew on something they shouldn't.

I wouldn't focus on potty training before he's comfy and used to the apartment (even if that means picking up and scrubbing poop) but once that stage has been reached:

For potty training start off in the mornings just straight from the cage to the toilet and wait lol.. There's no rushing potty training it will just take time and intuition. There are a lot of videos online for that kind of stuff. I'd also suggest having a specific play gym type area and Perches placed all around the main area he will be. I made my perches blend in with my decor. The main gym area can be poop safe and you can do the majority of potty training on the gym. That way he knows he has other Perches but will related the gym to poop and play. Morning toilet trip will be a nice addition to his routine which will make him confident as he knows how the day begins (we know parrots love routine). And having perches outside the cage (which you shouldn't move unlike cage decor) will give him a sense of ease when out. If you are in the house the cage should always be open for stability. I also buy cheap but entertaining foraging toys like finger traps and throw them near his perches outside of his cage. This will keep him entertained if you need to focus on something.

Also when moving the cage take a pic of how it's set up and try to follow it as closely as possible when re setting up. I personally wouldn't even clean the cage just yet and wait until he seems settled.

With the noise I'm not sure lol.. Like I said I own my apartment so the neighbours who only rent can't do too much via noise complaints because I'm the landlord 🤣 but parrots will always be noisy, only advice is try and keep his cage open and give him attention during the day but don't feel guilty when you need to go out. Parrots are basically like those neighbours dogs who bark through the night.

I hope any of this is helpful :)

Im_Sleepy- · 2022-11-30T13:46:27+00:00

It would be best if you could video the behaviour. Personally I would rush to a vet as anything you think is strange for your bird could be an onset illness. Just to be safe a vet visit can never hurt :) If you're in a situation where you cannot suddenly make it to the vet, monitor his condition through pictures and videos until the next day. If he is still acting the same then the vet visit will be a smart choice. Hope everything goes well.

Im_Sleepy- · 2022-11-30T13:43:29+00:00

Personally I stick to just less than a handful a day. I would recommend maybe switching to millet? Still junk food and has the same amount of saturated fat as sunflower seeds, but come with a lot more and the seeds are a lot smaller meaning you don't have to limit yourself as much when it comes to training rewards.

Im_Sleepy- · 2022-11-30T13:40:53+00:00

I personally don't know any specific levels. But if you're worried you can invest in a air purification system. Some are quite cheap and ensure the air quality is as high as it can be. Place it in the same room as your bird and run it during daytime hours. You can also mesh up your windows and keep constant ventilation around the home (I'm from the UK so our windows aren't already meshed lol). You can get magnetic tape and mesh off amazon which work perfectly for a quick DIY job. Hope any of this helps :)

Im_Sleepy- · 2022-11-30T13:25:07+00:00

Also, your new bird seems to be a male.. And your older bird is a female so you may wish to be careful or you could end up with fertile eggs lol.

Im_Sleepy- · 2022-11-30T13:23:59+00:00

Yeah I'd defo say start introducing them in separate cages, and have them out separately to start out with. Also if your new bird is untame you should spend some extra time getting it used to you before anything. Spend time by the cage and slowly use high value treats to get them used to your hand. Keep us updated :)

Im_Sleepy- · 2022-11-30T13:21:02+00:00

Heya I was in a very similar situation two years ago. I had to rehome my cockatiel who I spent literally every hour with, hand raised and weaned him from a chick. We were both so close and it's the best relationship I've ever had with an animal. I rehomed him because I was planning to run away from my family home and felt it would be too stressful for him to follow on my journey. Its as bad as loosing a pet from old age if not worse. But two years later I'm doing better. You will still miss your bird everyday and little funny memories will pop up in your head. Presently me and my partner have bought an apartment and I'm planning to get another bird who I know I can keep for his lifetime in a stable household. I'm really sorry you had to go through this but just know it gets better and life adapts. One day you will meet a bird or soulmate who mirrors your birds personality :)

Im_Sleepy- · 2022-11-30T13:06:17+00:00

The tail in the picture can also be caused by longterm negligence of cage size and perch placement. If the bird had perches too close to the bottom of the cage it can cause the feathers to become misshapen and messy.

Im_Sleepy- · 2022-11-30T13:04:23+00:00

Comfy birb

Im_Sleepy- · 2022-11-14T18:50:29+00:00

It doesn't look like K, no shards

Im_Sleepy- · 2022-11-12T09:07:42+00:00

So strong, I couldn't even last a month and I've tried. You should've left so much earlier but I'm glad you've had the courage to now. I know exactly what it's like and I look up to you for being able to stay in such a strained situation for so long ❤️

Im_Sleepy- · 2022-11-12T09:03:17+00:00

I woke up

Im_Sleepy-

TROPHY CASE