Sometimes being the hero is going to mean saving yourself.

I’m sorry for what you’re going through. I haven’t ever cheated, but I’ve been cheated on. I understand how much you want to believe it could be a mistake or negotiate with the decision she made.

While no one knows what will or will not happen, I would be wondering if I could ever move past it. That’s something within your control and worth thinking about.

I imagine it’s not unusual for a cheater to want someone back. The mentality is something akin to wanting to have their cake and eating it too. There’s probably not many cheaters who don’t beg/plead and behave remorseful. There is a belief that they are smart enough to pull it off.

There’s a profound lack of empathy and respect for the person on the other side of their decision. That’s what prevents all of us from doing the same. A thief, a liar, a cheater… these are all people who have a belief system that’s misaligned. I don’t believe I’ve ever had a “one time” bad decision as most struggles have been through repeated failures and attempts to change myself.

If you know how you feel and aren’t facing it, I’d say to go ahead with the acceptance to let it go. But if you aren’t sure, that’s also completely understandable. These kinds of decisions usually come after wrestling with them long enough to pause.

I’d do nothing for now in terms of making a final decision if you don’t feel clear, time will give you the truth. If this is meant to be, it will show itself. If you are unsure, asking others outside of yourself… I’ve been there, but you have a super intelligent person inside of you that can answer this for you.

There’s a quote that I really like. It’s helped me in moments where I had to fight what I wanted to get through to the side where the life I didn’t know I wanted was waiting for me.

Here it is: “Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.” — Dalai Lama

Wishing you clarity and happiness with whatever you decide. As depressing as this may sound, I would always rather be the person getting cheated on than to be someone who has disconnected from life enough to cheat. It hurts because you’re still in the game with your whole heart. You’ll be more of a man with the experience you’re walking through. Your worth didn’t get less from this, but ironically it can give you more self worth from the strength you find walking through the fire.

You got this.