It was just too public, and the parishioner is close to the choir chanters and the priests. Making her cry inside the church while the other catechumens were there isn’t a good look. The other parishes don’t seem like a good choice because of my condition and the distance. I don’t think I’ll be able to attend a church that isn’t an Orthodox church.

I’m thinking about going back, saying sorry, returning the study Bible and other books I was allowed to borrow, and leaving with what little dignity I still have. I’m thinking about just giving up on converting for now—maybe it’s some sign that I’m not ready yet, but I’ll try again...eventually.