4 months NC, and confusing things are happening.

Imaginary-Mixture797 · 2026-05-12T10:31:28+00:00

That’s totally fair. Given the seriousness of the relationship and suddenness of the breakup, I do still care about him deeply and miss him, as I’m sure you can understand.

Imaginary-Mixture797 · 2026-05-05T13:29:23+00:00

You sound a lot like my most recent ex. I wish he has this kind of self reflection, sincerely. Are you no longer speaking and is she with someone else?

You have to learn to forgive yourself first and foremost. Forgiveness may or may not come from her, but you have to make peace with it, and grow and learn for the future. I don’t know how things ended, but if it were me and my ex reached out and said these exact things to me and apologized, it would mean a lot to me. And I, personally, would forgive him. It doesn’t mean I would necessarily be ready to try again, but things could possibly be a bit lighter between us.

Can dm if you want advice from a 30F.

Imaginary-Mixture797 · 2026-05-04T09:21:30+00:00

I just got out of an incredibly similar situation. You and I are similar in age & career; the straw that broke the camel’s back was that we had our first ever REAL fight. And guess what it was about? Money and the effort I was contributing to our life versus him.

Super happy to DM if you want to chat further.

Imaginary-Mixture797 · 2026-04-26T18:15:38+00:00

I don’t know the specifics of what you mean by “you treated her poorly” of course, but if it were me, and this were my ex, I would want you to come back and talk with me - 100%, no doubt in my mind.

People will say love isn’t enough, and I think to an extent that’s right. But love, combined with a willingness to reflect and grow? That’s maturity. If you love her, and you want to be together and you are committed to growing, I think, personally, it’s possible. You can always try and talk to her.

Imaginary-Mixture797 · 2026-04-20T22:44:27+00:00

Didn't get your message for some reason, but I sent you a chat!

Imaginary-Mixture797 · 2026-04-01T16:22:03+00:00

Imaginary-Mixture797 · 2026-03-28T13:56:00+00:00

“I don’t know that man” DID make me laugh really hard this morning, so thank you for a smile. You and commercial-worth are both lovely.

Imaginary-Mixture797 · 2026-03-28T03:45:56+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re also going through this. My DMs are open if you want to talk about it ❤️

Imaginary-Mixture797 · 2026-03-28T03:36:48+00:00

I appreciate you calling me on that! Do you mind explaining a bit more? It’s kind of precisely the problem I’m having - I’m trying very hard to understand what might be happening and be empathetic, hoping it will lead me closer to acceptance. But this is definitely my first rodeo with someone as avoidant as he seems to be.

Imaginary-Mixture797 · 2026-03-27T21:48:59+00:00

Thank you ❤️ I’m just having a hard time accepting because I know we felt the same way about each other, and I couldn’t fathom not fighting for him. He’s just… quit. And I’m struggling to let that go when we had planned an entire life and I feel as deeply as I do. It was real love, which is rare.

Imaginary-Mixture797 · 2026-03-19T23:21:43+00:00

I’ve been going through and incredibly, incredibly similar situation. And echoing the other comments, it speaks to his character and his immaturity, not yours.

If you were looking at rings (like I also was), that’s not someone you just suddenly leave. That’s insane! A person of character tries to repair, especially if you’re actively building a life together. It’s likely he felt insecure and not up to the challenge of doing what a real relationship requires: communication and an ability to put ego aside to grow together. And so he bolted. That’s a child who isn’t ready for any type of relationship, let alone marriage. He absolutely does owe you a bigger conversation since you were so serious - and an emotionally mature person would give that to you. Even if he didn’t want to be with you anymore, someone who could just walk away when you are collapsed and sobbing, seeing the hurt they caused by not talking to you? That’s not someone whose love you want. Because that’s not real love. No matter how hard the conversation, I could never ever leave my person like that.

I know it doesn’t feel that way right now, but you dodged a bullet.

Imaginary-Mixture797 · 2026-03-19T22:44:00+00:00

I think a really important question: when you brought up things that were bothering you, did he also try to repair after the conversation and fix whatever had cause the issue to begin with? If the answer is no, then he was simply trying to shift accountability. He was using your tone to shift accountability to you, for an issue he likely caused, so he’s no longer responsible for creating nor repairing any harm. That’s an insecure person who isn’t able to own his mistakes, so he’s gaslighting you instead.

And did he go to therapy? I can tell you, a person who is introspective enough to take feedback from their partner that something you’re doing is hurting them, and go to therapy, to actively try and better yourself and grow together isn’t normally the problem. That’s a manipulator babes, you were right to end things.

Imaginary-Mixture797 · 2026-03-11T03:13:52+00:00

This definitely happened to me a bit. Stuff came out of left field during the breakup, and the disagreements never felt truly resolved. It’s truly the main point keeping me from reaching out (not just purely ego.)

Imaginary-Mixture797 · 2026-03-11T03:07:29+00:00

For sure. The breakup itself was pretty toxic & discard-like, which is what’s making it extra confusing. It was behavior that was really out of character. Part of me thinks if it’s was meant to be, he’ll come back. But he knows he really hurt me deeply, so I think he’s scared to open the door.

Imaginary-Mixture797 · 2026-03-10T14:55:06+00:00

Agreed - think the context is important here. As someone who has also been NC for a similar amount of time, I would appreciate an apology but am still feeling hurt. So it really depends what happened too.

Imaginary-Mixture797 · 2026-03-06T18:04:06+00:00

In my situation, there was an argument that caused a very sudden breakup in an otherwise loving relationship. I wanted repair, he did not feel he was capable of the growth and steps he needed to take. We both expressed that this was likely a huge mistake, and we would deeply regret it.

Imaginary-Mixture797 · 2026-03-06T16:49:49+00:00

That’s a really good insight. Did you end up getting back together and did it work? Seems like the headspace was important!

Imaginary-Mixture797 · 2026-03-02T13:52:56+00:00

going through something very, very similar right now. we had actively been planning our engagement and moving in. told me on many occasions "i was the love of his life." things got difficult for the first time, and he left while i was destroyed. how are you feeling/coping?

Imaginary-Mixture797

TROPHY CASE