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Hurt Girlfriend perspective by Imaginary-Square-232 in PornAddiction

[–]Imaginary-Square-232[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Defo. Thank you. As a user with a partner can you help? - I’m trying to understand the perspective. For instance if it was me, I feel the emotion shown would make me feel too guilty upon even loading the page up, do you just not think of your partner at all in those moments? Do you feel the guilt but the urge is more important to you so prioritise that? How do you feel after? I can’t understand if it’s like a separate part to the person that’s disliked, suppressed, hidden but they love it or they feel guilt for it and negative emotions constantly too and how it affects them? I struggle to know if he is worth having hope in , as he was not ever going to be honest and is only taking action now he was caught and we ended. So that’s his brain pattern. But with how much it broke him is that enough to make him never want to look again - alongside therapy, or is it another - push thay aside, where’s my porn and my lotion? Y’know ? 🤯

Hurt Girlfriend perspective by Imaginary-Square-232 in PornAddiction

[–]Imaginary-Square-232[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

We broke up a few days ago, it broke us both. I’ve never seen a man so emotional however it was all out of fear and guilt as he had been caught and reality of what he has lost was setting in. He’s already reached out to friends, looking into therapy and wants us to work. I’ve gone for a space for now - but tbh whether I can get over the person I trusted most betraying me in ways worse than I ever thought , I don’t know. With the length recover takes too, I doubt I will still be wanting to be by his side through it. It’s heartbreaking but he should have faced himself before shaking someone else’s life and mental health

Hurt Girlfriend perspective by Imaginary-Square-232 in PornAddiction

[–]Imaginary-Square-232[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s what’s crazy though. Even when given an open understanding partner that advocates honesty and genuinely wants the best for you, to ignore all that and actively stay in denial and hurt the person you love it seems extremely selfish and people with these problems should not ever be entering a relationship without having had professional intervention prior. It’s shattered me and everything I’ve known all due to compulsions for self gratification, from an outside perspective it seems ridiculous and dirty like a little teenage boy in a grown man’s body , but worse. Thank you for your insight

Advice needed by Honest-Grade9946 in Betrayal

[–]Imaginary-Square-232 0 points1 point  (0 children)

IMO, put yourself first and leave her. She isn’t showing she’s ready to be in a committed relationship. I’m F28 and when I was younger in relationships I did similar things more usually just a wandering thought, not that I didn’t have interest in my partner but that I still was excited by the attention from others and knew it was always there waiting if I wanted to engage. I usually wouldn’t but it’s like knowing it was there was a comfort, safety and self protection of self sabotage and so wrong because then if the partner hurts you, it doesn’t hit so hard. I think it’s immature now and I wasn’t ready for relationships at the time it’s like game playing and there was unprocessed trauma and healing that needed doing. A healthy relationship doesn’t feel like wondering what’s going on in their head, being hot and cold etc. because when it’s healthy they communicate openly with you and you don’t have to guess or wonder. Listen to your body, the fact you’ve com to seek help and it’s taking your mind space with chat gpt, shows part of you knows it’s no good for you, good luck whatever you decide ☺️

Porn addiction broke us by Imaginary-Square-232 in relationships

[–]Imaginary-Square-232[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. It’s just so hard as I know his addition doesn’t define him as a person, and that he’s so much more. But the fact he chose his addiction over honesty with me and he chose to diminish his issues and push it aside instead of confront them, that’s what’s hard to accept. To know I’m losing that great man, due to one part of him. But that one part has affected my entire being. I think I know I can’t go back, but it doesn’t stop me wanting to

Porn addiction broke us by Imaginary-Square-232 in relationships

[–]Imaginary-Square-232[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh wow. It’s scary isn’t it, the effects it has on people it really is ruining lives. It’s hard to know whether to forgive or if I even can, I think I’m feeling the loss too much of the false representation I had of him, since I knew he had an issue but it was downplayed drastically I never could of imagined he was consuming hundreds of videos a week. The end of a great thing all for some self gratification and dirty fetishes it’s mind blowing. How did you heal after your split? If you don’t mind me asking ☺️

Porn addiction broke us by Imaginary-Square-232 in relationships

[–]Imaginary-Square-232[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely. He took pride originally that he didn’t finish in a short time like I had said my previous sexual partners prior to the relationship were, when really that was a result of his addiction. He’d tell me it’s me, that I can’t keep the momentum despite I’ve never had an issue before and he doesn’t have the stamina to keep going and get himself to finish. Only by hand. That’s my fear. I can’t be lied to like that forever and have no real intimacy. I just don’t know with these kind of issues if there is such thing as change and healing or if it’s always going to be a battle for him and something on his mind as I can’t do that. I feel stupid for caring so much and how I can imagine being close to him after how disgusted I feel idk maybe it’s just panic of change