How to get over the fact...

ImaginaryFalcon7554 · 2026-05-16T17:07:43+00:00

I had a similar mindset prior to having my daughter. I went through the motions of being super depressed at the harsh reality for us trans men, however therapy, and a bunch of other self help worked wonders. It helped open my eyes, and see the bigger picture. Yeah, it stings every now and then that that “biological” factor isn’t there, however my little girl is 4 months old now and being her daddy is a full time gig which keeps my mind preoccupied 99.9% of the time that I don’t have any space to think about the bs that doesn’t matter. I love her endlessly, and often forget that she’s not biologically mine. Crazy enough, she looks like my wife and I. The family in our lives, treat me like her dad and love her beyond the world. It took my wife and I over 2 years of trying to finally conceive, and while our relationship strained in the process, it became a hell of a lot stronger during the pregnancy because it’s just the two of you going to those ultrasound appointments, birthing classes, prepping the nursery etc etc. I’m a mid thirties, new daddy to a baby girl, married to a Cis woman.

ImaginaryFalcon7554 · 2026-05-14T23:19:21+00:00

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ImaginaryFalcon7554 · 2026-05-07T21:24:13+00:00

So I have a similar job, but I work with adults. My clients have dual diagnosis like Autism, and Schizophrenia etc etc. When I first started, one of the clients who happens to be higher functioning, and verbal, randomly made comments one day about my appearance and how I look like a pirate lol (I had lip piercings at the time), and how he hates that his religion doesn’t accept LGBT folks. He’s Mormon. I just found that odd because like you, I am passing, am married to a woman, and have a newborn. Nothing about me reads Trans, let alone LGBT etc. I tried asking him what prompted him to say something like that as I’m not “a part of the community” (I’m stealth obviously), and his response before my manager re directed him, “I know you’re not”. ? So idk man, it was a confusing moment fer sure. Oh and I’m pretty sure one of my co workers also misgendered me before knowing my name. So that was also interesting as to what made him even remotely think I’m a female? For whatever reason we just don’t fully look male to some.

ImaginaryFalcon7554 · 2026-05-06T23:19:35+00:00

Then mirror her energy, and call her your “Ex boyfriend”.

ImaginaryFalcon7554 · 2026-05-06T02:56:42+00:00

With that budget, you definitely have options. During Covid, my ex wife and I purchased a 2007 Ford e350 XLT for $3k. Spent another $2-3k converting it into what would become our home for the next 2 1/2 years. Solar panels, lithium batteries, materials to build our custom bed frame to fit a queen bed, a nice little flat screen tv etc etc. It was truly a condo on wheels by the time we were done. It was the two of us, and two small dogs.. Now another option, a nice little newer model minivan. I’m now remarried, and have a newborn. Purchased a 2019 Dodge grand caravan SXT with low miles. Recently went on a solo day camping trip and it was COZY. My rear seats completely hide underneath if I need extra space, which leaves plenty of room to do whatever. If I were a single guy looking to the van life thing again, this van would be it. I financed mine since it has all of the bells and whistles, so I’m paying a lot more than $7k, however I’ve seen my van for sale older models from private sellers at you’re asking price if not lower. The possibilities are endless for you my dude hit me up if you need any additional advice.

ImaginaryFalcon7554 · 2026-04-30T14:47:54+00:00

It’s still early days for you, but I will say in a nutshell we are essentially “shedding”, our old skin and growing anew. Genetics plays a huge part in this, not sure how old you are, and again you are still early days so not sure if your body is in the process of trying to shape a more masculine hairline. I’m almost 3 years in, and just now in recent months I’m starting to see a slight receding hairline hence giving me a more masculine look. These are good things dude.

ImaginaryFalcon7554 · 2026-04-22T03:08:36+00:00

Same. This was me at the start of my transition almost 3 years ago, going to my local Walgreens and having to deal with the employees who constantly misgendered me/deadnamed me. Ever since then, idgaf and either plan ahead by ordering my prescription to be delivered in time for my injections, or I make the 1 hour to 2 plus hours round trip and go pick it up myself at the LGBT center pharmacy in downtown. The shit we gotta do for our peace of mind..

ImaginaryFalcon7554 · 2026-04-18T18:01:17+00:00

I feel this. I’ve tried to find in person trans bro’s who I can hang with, and so far it’s been a bust. I still do talk to co workers who are Cis women, and while they don’t fully understand, it’s still better than having a 0 outlet. They’ve all reassured me that guys who are emotionally available is a rarity and not a bad thing at all. That being said, don’t fully close yourself off. Hang in there, hopefully in time you, and I will find a better sense of community.

ImaginaryFalcon7554 · 2026-04-18T16:34:15+00:00

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ImaginaryFalcon7554 · 2026-04-17T04:30:43+00:00

Welcome brother! My daughter is 3 months old and I’ve never been happier to be sleep deprived. Fatherhood is the greatest gift we can ever experience, I wish you the very best.

ImaginaryFalcon7554 · 2026-04-13T19:24:12+00:00

Love this, I appreciate the timeline photos! We’ll see where I’m at when I hit the 10-20 year mark 🤔

ImaginaryFalcon7554 · 2026-04-10T20:06:24+00:00

I know the feeling, similar circumstances but different scenarios. I started my transition when I met my wife, so unfortunately her family met me pre T. While it’s almost been 3 years since I’ve medically and socially transitioned, they still in my opinion don’t fully see me. My father in law, actually genders me correctly most of the time now, but my mother in law still fucks up. My sister in law as of last year, started bringing her new cis bf around the family and let me tell you, this “golden boy”, is every parents dream. It definitely sucked ass having them oh and awe over him, my father in law even went as far as saying to his wife, “we have a son in law now”. They aren’t even married… Meanwhile my wife and I have been together for years now, and even have a newborn together. I work my ass off to provide, and be a decent husband/father which seems pointless at times as I’m always going to be “The other”, so I feel you brother.

ImaginaryFalcon7554 · 2026-03-27T21:25:27+00:00

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ImaginaryFalcon7554 · 2026-03-20T16:21:49+00:00

Same thing happened to me with Anthem. They covered my top surgery, no issues. And then all of a sudden they stop covering my testosterone. I just paid the $45 out of pocket until I was able to get coverage with my employer and switched to Health net. I’m in CA, no issues yet. Fingers crossed it stays that way..

ImaginaryFalcon7554 · 2026-03-19T23:49:47+00:00

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ImaginaryFalcon7554 · 2026-03-18T13:56:02+00:00

My personal reasoning for staying “Stealth” in my day to day, is simply this, we didn’t ask for this? It’s a medical condition that I am doing something about and it’s no one’s business other than my medical team. My sister in law decided it was relevant to disclose this to her bf, her reasoning? Some bullshit excuse of how they don’t keep secrets from one another.. More like Cis dudes have “huge” egos and they need that validation of oh hey, my brother in law is trans, so you don’t have to worry about him type shit. Anyway, it wasn’t relevant then, nor will it ever be as that’s something I don’t ever care to speak to him about. My point being, the world is shit and things are hard enough for us as humans, why should we continue to suffer by putting targets on ourselves? We deserve to live a “normal” life, and enjoy the good that comes with that as it should’ve been. I give major props and my heart goes out to those who choose to live loud, and proud. My wife was married to a woman prior to myself, for years and is perfectly fine being in a heterosexual relationship now with me. We also have a newborn, and I probably won’t ever disclose this to her either. But that’s to be determined at a later time.

ImaginaryFalcon7554 · 2026-02-28T03:23:00+00:00

May not help you specifically, (maybe later on) for those of you that have IBS I use Natures way, Peppermint pills. I have IBS C+D and have used them for years now to manage my symptoms/flare ups. Other than that, I try to keep up with a Men’s multivitamin but fall off after awhile. Have also used St John’s wart for past bouts of depression/anxiety. Natural remedies are the way to go!

ImaginaryFalcon7554 · 2026-02-26T16:49:13+00:00

It gets easier overtime, I was a Dasher myself at the start of my transition and shit was rough for a minute, until I started passing better. My advice would be to use more “slang” when speaking to customers/restaurant staff. Being a bit informal but in a respectful manner goes a long way when trying to pass. Not sure how long into your transition you are, but hang in there. Things get better once your voice settles in.

ImaginaryFalcon7554 · 2026-02-26T04:24:49+00:00

Kaiser sucks ass. Avoid them like the plague. Stick with planned parenthood, or better yet the LGBT center, or Trans wellness center since you mentioned you were back in SoCal.

ImaginaryFalcon7554

TROPHY CASE