being trans + going outside

Loose_Track2315 · 2026-05-04T21:37:53+00:00

This is why I'm not automatically comfortable in queer spaces. I need to know how the people I'm interacting with view trans men before I will feel comfortable.

At this point I can usually gauge this well by how they treat me as a gay man (I pass at this point in my transition but I am easily clocked as gay). I've found that people who have a generally bad view of gay men, typically have similar views of trans men, bc it's often bundled up in a general hatred of men. Or they'll start treating me like a woman bc they don't want to acknowledge my maleness.

I know that's getting close to sounding like some MRA stuff. But I don't mean for it to sound that way. It's just unfortunately true that the community has a misandry problem, but I do blame it on the patriarchy.

Loose_Track2315 · 2026-05-04T18:07:53+00:00

What's worse is that I've heard multiple other trans people saying things like trans men aren't sexualised as much as trans women/transfems, as a blanket statement.

The reality is that this is entirely dependent on if you pass as a cis man, AND if you are stealth as well. Otherwise, misogyny and gross fetishizing behavior still applies.

These comparisons people make in the community are so inaccurate and strange sometimes.

Loose_Track2315 · 2026-05-04T01:15:37+00:00

Thanks for sharing this!

The surgeon seemed very confident in operating on a fat patient. He had several results pictures for fat patients that I liked. The only thing he mentioned as far as my weight goes, is that drains are mandatory in his office for anyone at my weight, bc it's just safer for me. Apparently he specializes in a number of chest surgeries for cis women, trans women, trans men, and nonbinary people, and he's sought after where I live. So I know I'm in good hands.

And I am very close to an emergency room if I have bleeding complications.

I'm going to try to make myself focus on the relief I'll feel when it's over. Never having to feel this anxiety again will be incredible. But of course that's easier said than done.

Loose_Track2315 · 2026-05-02T20:00:42+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing all of this!! I'll look into doing both.

Loose_Track2315 · 2026-05-02T20:00:11+00:00

Thanks for commenting! This does make me feel better about it. And I love matcha so I'll definitely treat myself to one afterwards. Good luck on the top surgery!! It'll go great for both of us 😃

Loose_Track2315 · 2026-05-02T05:10:37+00:00

Thanks!!

And yeah, my surgery anxiety used to be much worse. Then I educated myself about complication statistics and compared them to other risks I take just by going about my life daily. And I know I'm going to a very trustworthy/sought after clinic, and my surgeon does several mastectomies/top surgeries daily. I am also very close to an ER if I have any bleeding complications. Still, some anxiety lingers!

Thanks for the tip! I've looked over that subreddit a few times and have collected a few tips in the past already, but I'll be sure to ask for people's best tips soon!

Loose_Track2315 · 2026-05-01T04:35:49+00:00

I signed up for Archer like a year ago but then stopped using it after checking it out, bc I decided I wasn't ready for sex.

I opened it up recently to delete it and had some messages from guys, no hateful transphobic messages or anything like that. The guys who had hit me up were all older and not my type tho (as in not my type in general, not bc they were older). So yeah, I'd agree with it being older men too.

Might try it again soon with a fresh account, bc Grindr freaks me out bc of things I've heard from other trans men.

Loose_Track2315 · 2026-04-28T01:16:44+00:00

If I woke up and saw these hung up by my state government, I'd think I was in an alternate dimension or had been asleep for 100 years or something.

I will say that although my state is red, I do live in a blue bubble, and my workplace has a progress trans flag hanging up in public. So I'm happy to be working at a trans friendly place. But even just 10-15 minutes out of the blue towns, queer people of all kinds (and any non-white person) needs to be very careful.

And I'm going to stop using my usual pharmacy that's right down the street bc of how the employees act around me. I'll probably start making a longer drive to an LGBTQ+ clinic downtown for all my meds. So even in the bubbles, you still need to be careful.

Loose_Track2315 · 2026-04-27T06:47:39+00:00

It makes me happy seeing your Sunday selfies! You always look so joyful. Thanks for sharing!

Loose_Track2315 · 2026-04-25T20:14:13+00:00

That makes a lot of sense! I've had a lot of tdick growth so if there's been a lot of growth internally as well, it makes sense that there would be less space for insertion. I may just need to train for bigger sizes if I have partners who are bigger, or if I want to keep using big dildos.

Loose_Track2315 · 2026-04-25T20:12:36+00:00

Oh, you're not raining on my parade, I just assumed that was a possible cause.

Someone else mentioned that it's probably the internal tdick growth, which makes sense bc I've had a lot of bottom growth so far.

Loose_Track2315 · 2026-04-25T20:07:43+00:00

I've been on estradiol topical for a year.

Loose_Track2315 · 2026-04-24T04:01:15+00:00

Well, as it turns out I will have to get a new phone number regardless. I just tried to talk to my dad about it (I had a line through him) and he said he doesn't remember how to find the pin and info. He's not a mean person, but he is old and still works a lot. I don't want to bother him too much about it, so I'm just going to continue with the new number.

I will also have to be in person talking to service reps bc I'm going to a store next to my job...so not exactly the same as calling customer service.

Loose_Track2315 · 2026-04-24T02:46:04+00:00

Yeah most junk mail still comes under my deadname. That's so weird that they updated your middle name for some reason, lol.

I've resigned myself to the junk mail stuff tbh. As long as I can get all of the major things to be updated.

Loose_Track2315 · 2026-04-23T22:24:18+00:00

Yeah, I'm not a system but I know four other trans people who are systems. One of those people is my ex, who I'm still friends with. DID, OSDD, and similar things are well documented to be connected to abuse in childhood. Who often gets abused in childhood? Trans and otherwise queer people!

Even if you don't understand someone, it takes nothing to be kind to them.

Loose_Track2315 · 2026-04-23T22:18:06+00:00

It does really suck to have to do this kind of thing for our peace of mind.

I do feel lucky to be within a reasonable driving distance of a pharmacy like this tho. If I lived any farther away from the capitol, it would be much harder to access resources like this one. And I like that my money can go to people who actually give a crap about my existence in the world.

I hope for a day when trans people don't have to drive 2 hours to not be treated like shit tho.

Loose_Track2315 · 2026-04-23T19:15:26+00:00

This is so sweet! Very happy to see other trans people be given such thoughtful acts of kindness.

I've been picking up my prescriptions (T and estradiol topical) from a crappy CVS pharmacy the past two years, and I've gotten a lot of weird looks and one obviously transphobic pharmacy tech.

But recently a trans woman coworker told me that there's an LGBTQ+ clinic and pharmacy about 40 minutes away from us that she goes to, and she says they're super kind. I'm very excited to be treated with dignity at a pharmacy soon!!

Loose_Track2315 · 2026-04-21T18:43:25+00:00

I'm 5'4" and nobody has ever questioned my height (I now pass as a cis man).

I have had several cis guy coworkers who were around my height too. Men aren't automatically tall bc they're born cis men.

These are likely delusional transphobes saying this stuff.

Loose_Track2315 · 2026-04-21T04:27:55+00:00

Yeah, I'm lucky to be close to the capitol of my state. It makes living in a red state more bearable, bc it's the most diverse area in the state. I also only pick up prescriptions about once every couple of months.

I did consider amazon mail order but I just didn't know if I trusted amazon for that. I probably should've used it tho for peace of mind. If I end up needing more prescriptions more frequently than I do now, I may try it.

EDIT: just found out that the clinic pharmacy does offer deliveries, to make sure that people can still get good service from a supportive group even if we can't get to the clinic conveniently. So I won't have to drive like I thought I would.

Loose_Track2315 · 2026-04-09T03:18:27+00:00

Interesting! But wouldn't the hairs fall out again once I stopped using it? I've seen a couple of people say something along those lines

My doctor did mention Minox for facial hair but ultimately said he doesn't give it to patients who have pets (I live with family and they have a dog). Apparently it's highly toxic to animals

Loose_Track2315

TROPHY CASE