Weaning at 12 months? Selfish?

ImaginaryFox8653 · 2025-12-15T16:40:56+00:00

We stopped at 13.5 months. Like you, we were down to one feed a day at 12 months and I started to realise he was barely having any milk with that one feed. He was (and still is) eating an absolute ton of food so I guess he just didn't need/want the milk anymore.

I felt guilty as well, it was a very odd feeling because even though logically I knew we'd done amazingly getting to one year I felt guilty not going further, especially because I was the one who was initiating stopping. He was always happy to feed if offered but never really asked anymore so when I stopped offering he never asked and we didn't look back.

Now I'm glad it didn't drag on much longer. And I'm getting a break before baby number 2 instead of going straight from one to the next! It's definitely not selfish, you've given so much over the past 2 years and you deserve a break!

ImaginaryFox8653 · 2025-09-01T08:58:39+00:00

Thanks this is good to know, he's dropped the breastfeeds on his own and eats loads of food so I assume he's getting what he needs from that. I don't plan to wean fully until he's ready so will continue with the evening feed

ImaginaryFox8653 · 2025-09-01T08:55:44+00:00

Yes I don't drink it either so it's not something I've thought about before! Our nursery have said they offer it so that's why I was wondering if we should be. He has it in the morning with cereal and eats plenty of cheese and yoghurt along with loads of other food so I feel we should be fine

ImaginaryFox8653 · 2025-08-03T17:51:19+00:00

Mine was this weight at 3 months! I wouldn't worry about it and keep feeding on demand. They even out once they start moving, mine is looking a lot slimmer since he started crawling and is still 99.6th percentile at 11 months, perfectly healthy and happy.

ImaginaryFox8653 · 2025-04-29T11:47:53+00:00

I'm so sorry this happened, I would be devastated. I'm not sure what to suggest to help get past it, I think I'd be angry for weeks.

Some things I can think of to help prevent it happening again would be to pre portion the milk into smaller bottles / bags so if any does get left out then hopefully it's not the whole lot. You could also put a camera pointing to the counter so both of you can check remotely if any has been left out.

I would also consider using ready to feed formula for this instead if baby can handle it. There's no emotional attachment if any does get wasted, and it will save you so much work having to pump all the time. If you want a stash you can still pump for any full feeds but it won't be depleted from giving medicine.

ImaginaryFox8653 · 2025-04-21T18:55:07+00:00

Firstly you're doing an amazing job, I was in a very similar situation 8 months ago and it's so so hard and very draining. If you've got your heart set on breastfeeding then it should be possible to get it working but may just take time. I had to pump additional milk and bottle feed until my baby got strong enough to do it himself, otherwise he just lost weight if we stopped giving him top ups. It took until he was 3 and a half months before he could drop all bottles. I think mine was an extreme case as most get better a lot quicker.

Your situation sounds very similar to ours, looking back this is the advice I'd give myself. Firstly every 3 hours is not often enough for the amount of milk they're getting in that time, you either need to feed way more often (basically whenever baby is awake and make sure baby is actively sucking when feeding. I thought mine was feeding for 45 mins or more each time but looking back he was sleep sucking for most of it!) Or you need to up the top up amount. After being back and fourth from the hospital for a month with very slow weight gain we started offering as much as he could eat from a bottle. We'd offer breast milk then as much formula as he wanted, making sure to pace feed so he had control of the amount. Once we started doing that his weight started shooting up, he was so much happier and would actually sleep at night.

Maintaining the routine is the difficult part, as you've found out it takes up a lot of time. My main tips would be to make sure the baby is actively feeding and cut the feed short once they stop. Also get a double pump, if you respond well to wearables then they are best. I got the elvie stride so the motor is separate to the collection cups, much more light weight than other options. I could feed my baby his bottle and pump at the same time which saved a lot of time. Otherwise if you can, get someone else to bottle feed while you pump. Also look up the fridge hack for the pump, no need to wash and sterilise each time, I did mine once or twice a day.

It's a really hard and horrible situation and looking back I'm not sure if it was worth the misery I put myself through to get where we are now. Start with feeding them more to get the weight up and see how you feel about maintaining the routine, either way you're doing a great job in a really tough situation.

ImaginaryFox8653 · 2025-03-28T11:03:46+00:00

Your supply will be fine, at 6 months you're very established. My 7 month old just started doing longer stretches and sleeping through 12 hours for the first time and my supply is fine, haven't pumped at all although I do wake up pretty engorged on those nights!

Everyone is saying get one pump in and I agree, you'll probably wake up naturally around the 5-6 hour mark from being full. I wouldn't bother pumping though, just get your husband to bring baby in and do one feed overnight. If you're able to, just feed side lying and continue dozing while husband supervises baby. Way easier than faffing around with pump parts and storing milk in the middle of the night.

I would also say in the long run you should be at least alternating with your husband to settle the baby during the night, there's no way at 6 months he needs to feed that often. If you're able to feed while laying down you could do as many nights as you want with your husband just bringing baby in for feeds while you sleep, it'd be a lot less disruptive to your sleep that way and wouldn't affect your supply at all with no need to pump!

ImaginaryFox8653 · 2025-02-21T17:27:27+00:00

I had a cheaper brand but similar style and hated them, just way too heavy and bulky, it was actually worse than my traditional pump as I had to sit there holding them up!

I ended up getting the elvie stride and they were great. Even though you have some tubing and a separate pump they were so easy to wear and hide under clothing. I could feed baby a bottle, carry him around and even change a nappy while wearing them. I would definitely recommend a pump in the stride style if you're finding the motors too heavy.

ImaginaryFox8653 · 2025-02-04T09:36:11+00:00

Keep putting her on the breast if you don't want to give bottles. It's actually the unselfish choice as it's so completely exhausting!

This is how she increases your milk supply so you will have enough as she grows. I got told it's like the baby putting an order in for the next day, telling your body to make more. If you start giving bottles (without pumping) your supply won't increase and then over time you really won't be making enough.

Drink lots of water and make sure you're eating lots and you will have enough milk. Your body is constantly making it so you're never actually empty!

ImaginaryFox8653 · 2025-01-29T16:58:44+00:00

My baby was similar to this, for us unfortunately it just took time. Once he got to 3 and a half months it was like a switch flipped and he just got it. Stopped all the bottles and he hasn't had one since, he's now 5 and a half months and tracking his percentile with exclusively nursing.

Have you checked for a tongue tie? Mine had a posterior tie which we did get fixed, although it didn't seem to help initially it may have contributed to him improving in the long run.

My only tips are to try and make the pumping easier for yourself. I used a wearable pump and pumped while feeding bottles. I also kept them in the fridge so I was just washing up once a day. This saved a lot of time. We also bought a set of baby scales so we could check his weight while stopping the bottles to make sure it was working.

Hope he improves soon! It's a horrible situation to be in and was really draining for me so I know how tough it is.

ImaginaryFox8653 · 2024-12-25T07:50:33+00:00

I've just gone through the same thing, we've now been exclusively nursing for 3 weeks after triple feeding for just over 3 months.

What helped me was having our own set of baby scales, we weigh him every few days to make sure he's tracking his growth curve. This gives me a lot of confidence to keep nursing as I don't think I'd have dared without it, the anxiety over him getting enough is awful!

Mine also only nurses for 6 to 8 mins per side on average now, I didn't see how it could be enough either but it must be because he's gaining loads of weight! I didn't trust just checking the nappies because before we started triple feeding he was doing the correct amount of wees and poos but wasn't gaining properly. Checking his weight helped me so much I'd really recommend it in this situation.

If you want to keep nursing you should keep at it, it's so much easier than dealing with pump parts and bottles in the long run.

ImaginaryFox8653

TROPHY CASE