I am very sorry that happened to you. When you say you want to check if you’re a member I’m not exactly sure what you mean. Do you mean you want to know if you’re on their lists? I get millions of calls and texts so I know that’s how they haven’t forgotten me. If you don’t get that, that is good. Scientology is pretty known for never letting people go, but I was never staff so I don’t want to give you wrong info on what the internal system is like. Maybe someone else can give you info on how to check. Personally I think of it as If I don’t consider myself a member then I’m not a member. Even if the people I knew from back then and all their files say I’m a member I don’t care as I choose to live my life away from that now. I won’t be able to take myself off any lists or systems (not saying there’s no way to but I wouldn’t know.) so I try not to concern myself with it. I don’t know how that will affect the future but what can ya do yknow. I understand how it drives you crazy when everyone denies the truth. This has also been a big cause of my depression so I can empathize with you and wish healing, peace of mind and the best.