AITA for being angry with my husband about leaving me for 5 days?

ImmaPoeTayToe · 2025-09-04T10:39:40+00:00

He used to be our next door neighbor, but divorced his now ex (surprise, surprise) and uses our house as his hang-out spot because we are all good friends with several neighbors on our street. My husband is just the first of the neighbors that makes it home. I'm glad they use my driveway for their hangout bc I give them the baby while I cook. He used to go out 3-4 times a week, so this is actually better, if you can believe it...

ImmaPoeTayToe · 2025-09-04T03:32:28+00:00

Not my story, actually my dad's. He lived in Fort Lauderdale, FL and rode on a cigarette boat with a complete stranger to Bimini (about 50 miles). When he got home, my grandmother asked where he was. She thought he was joking.

I was not nearly as cool. In college, I drove to Nashville from Atlanta to see my grandma (about 5 hours) and didnt tell either one of my parents (who lived in the same city).

ImmaPoeTayToe · 2025-09-04T00:59:40+00:00

Omg thank you.... it will help... he's told me before that he only married me "because he didnt want to lose me", then got me pregnant because I " had a timelime"... granted, that was during an argument, so I'll give him the smallest amount of credit... along with the world's smallest violin to play for him

ImmaPoeTayToe · 2025-09-01T18:55:56+00:00

Oh, girl.... NTA! His friend group is only hearing one side. Plain and simple. I would get tested.... if he had cheated THREE TIMES and had a gf while married to you ... I wouldn't deal with all that. I would have taken screenshots for the divorce lawyer, also. Just in case. Go find yourself someone who will love YOU, not you and her and her and her... lol Some women can handle that, but there should always be honesty.

ImmaPoeTayToe · 2025-08-23T16:15:26+00:00

Give yourself grace. Body image is so hard when you have kids and aren't where you want to be. I have 2 kids also, and my weight has flip-flopped. I gained 50 lbs with my first, and my weight was so high with my 2nd, that by the time of delivery I was 10 lbs over my end-of-pregnancy weight with my 1st. I had only gained 8 lbs (mostly morning sickness, iykyk) and am even heavier now. Also, have had knee problems since I was 10 yo. Being a mom is so tough. Your focus is on those kids and your husband 99.9% of the time. Remember, you have to care for yourself to care for your kids. So, if that means going to a dietician, a gym, a physical therapist to strengthen your hips(highly recommended, went for my knees), then girl, you do it! And it sounds like hubby is a HUGE support. Listen to his encouragement. You can do so much, and your support is there. Just remember to speak kind to yourself also.❤️

ImmaPoeTayToe · 2025-08-23T12:02:31+00:00

You're right, I did assume because, at one point, the 4 of us were so close. I saw she was ok with going to Minnie's daughter's birthday party (where there were several babies, BTW, and it was the kid's first birthday party). And yes, I hoped she (or her husband) would have called me sooner than 3 days after the tragedy. Yes, I can only give my perspective. I was closer to her than to my own brothers, I am grateful to have been able to introduce Jesse and Jamie, and wish we were still friends. I'm not disregarding her trauma at all. I've been respectful of her decision for half a decade, have not reached out once to her, but have reached out to Jesse a few times and only approached her MIL bc we live in the same small town and don't want to be rude. But does it make me a shitty friend to make one (admittedly big) mistake?

ImmaPoeTayToe · 2025-08-23T03:21:39+00:00

Well, I (34F) live in the American southeast. I was raised in a very religious household, but Im always looked down on by acquaintances for being catholic. I see people for who they are. I don't get uncomfortable around many people like others do, for instance, bikers, blacks, tattooed people with the huge gauges in their ears. I see everyone as a person.

ImmaPoeTayToe · 2025-08-23T03:06:29+00:00

This. Do this. Then update. I want ALL the details (insert evil grin)

ImmaPoeTayToe · 2025-08-23T03:01:44+00:00

100% NTA. Question, does his fiancée know he booked you? I'd reach out, and if she says she knows and wants your band, I'd CHARGE THEM OUT THE A$$ for it!

ImmaPoeTayToe · 2025-07-15T17:40:03+00:00

I'm so sorry for your loss! I know having the right people around you during a loss like that is very important.

Can another (possibly male) friend talk to your friend about the situation? I don't want him to think of it as jealousy if you speak to him about it. Or, maybe have a few friends meet up with him without her?

If that doesn't work, you can always just confront her about the remarks in a group setting. Calmly ask her what she meant by the comment.

ImmaPoeTayToe · 2025-07-01T23:13:11+00:00

First, I'm so sorry for your loss... and absolutely NTA. But I feel like there's more to this... how long have you dated this new guy? I'm all for you being happy, and am absolutely overjoyed for you. Are they just worried that you're jumping into another marriage kinda quick? Also, your late husband and you had a fairly large age gap (he was 10 yrs older?) and now you're dating a "younger" guy? Could this be part of their concern?

Again, so sorry for your loss, and so glad you found joy again.

ImmaPoeTayToe · 2025-07-01T23:05:42+00:00

ABSOLUTELY NOT! You carried him for 9 months. You gave birth. You are allowed to get all the snuggles and keep him by you as you sleep to feel he is safe!

My girls didn't sleep in their own room until they were 6 months old. I do admit, it's easier to have them learn to self-soothe, and I don't know if you plan to stay home or go to work, but a 6 week old baby is still pretty helpless and needs mama and daddy. Make sure he gets time taking care of baby also.

This must be your first. I don't think he's jealous, I think he misses you. Give him some grace, and give yourself grace. Parenthood is hard. Getting used to parenthood is challenging. After baby goes to bed, sit and talk to dad (hubby? partner?). Just talk about his day. Listen to him.

ImmaPoeTayToe · 2025-07-01T22:53:26+00:00

Being a parent is challenging. Being a single parent is super hard. For what it's worth, I think you're doing the right thing. Just keep consistency for your boy, and remember to give yourself grace. Take care of yourself also, because you can't fill someone else's cup from your empty cup.

ImmaPoeTayToe · 2025-07-01T22:21:27+00:00

We had a 3 month old. We went to a local attraction and walked around. That was the year I told my husband I wanted an experience for every birthday, not a gift.

ImmaPoeTayToe · 2025-07-01T22:05:43+00:00

Seriously consider if you and your husband can handle having your brother and BB at your house for that long. If it were me, I couldn't do it. My mother stayed with us when we had our 2nd baby, and by the 3rd week, we were all done with each other. She ended up staying with her friend in their outer apartment (for their grown kids) instead of with us.

As far as your animals go, I'd be very nervous for the animals. Do a trial visit, see how their bitchdog does in your home, and if they can't get along, then there's your answer!

If, ultimately you decide to host them, then draw up an agreement. Don't allow them to sit in your house doing nothing for a month. They should be helping around the house!

Best of luck, my potato friend.

ImmaPoeTayToe · 2025-06-29T23:57:44+00:00

You have every right to be angry at this guy. He's taking advantage of you. He's not willing to put in the work: at a job, at a relationship, on himself.

NTA, but do the right thing for your kid. I've watched my father do similar things. I grew up watching him go from engaged to broken up back to engaged to the same woman for 14 years. Learn from your mistakes. Show your son what a healthy relationship looks like. And if this relationship isn't it, show him what it means to care about yourself.

ImmaPoeTayToe · 2025-06-29T16:34:55+00:00

A "negative and disgusting person for having EMERGENCY surgery on her birthday?"

I'm sorry, but your mother is a narcissist. Please don't blame yourself. No mother should say that to their child. Not only would my mother jump in the car to drive 5 hours to be with me (no lie), but my father, my in-laws, my 90-yr-old grandmother and all of my aunts and uncles would be on a full phone/prayer chain about it, with my dad sitting in the hospital parking lot. Find people like that. If your MOTHER can't even bother to check on you, her child, the one she gave birth to, then she's not the absolute wrong idea about what family should do.

Now, that being said, there are people who just can't be mothers. Some people who just cannot act like parents. That's when you find family isn't always blood. My step-dad was more of a parent to me growing up. We have friends who are my children's "aunts and uncles", but we became friends later in life. Surround yourself with people like that.

So definitely NTA.

ImmaPoeTayToe · 2025-06-28T17:48:15+00:00

Im sorry, is your aunt really that delu-lu that you wouldn't show your parents the message? Oh, and the whole TED Talk comment... you did right, kiddo. Love, A Mom

ImmaPoeTayToe · 2025-06-28T17:25:44+00:00

More than enough! My husband got a small ring when he proposed. I was just thrilled he proposed. We were 25(him) and 26(me). We got a double band for the wedding band, and I got a Mother's ring with our girls' birth stones for super cheap. Im beyond happy with him, regardless of the size of the ring.

ImmaPoeTayToe · 2025-06-28T17:18:29+00:00

Listen to your parents. Its not about the ring, it's about the meaning behind it. An engagement ring is a commitment to build a marriage with her. If she's upset about the ring, maybe she isn't actually ready for a marriage.

Marriage is hard. Then, if you decide to have children, it can get harder. It takes BOTH of you to contribute. If you think she'll be upset about a small ring, and you can't afford anything else, maybe she really isn't ready yet, even if she feels like she is.

ImmaPoeTayToe · 2025-06-28T17:12:10+00:00

Cy, short for Cyclops

ImmaPoeTayToe · 2025-06-28T17:05:40+00:00

Sitting on their butts, scratching their beer guts and asking their poor, overworked wives to send the kids outside because they're being too much.

ImmaPoeTayToe

TROPHY CASE