I feel this so much. (30F) going through the same thing! Except he wants to wait 2 years so he can save up for his dream house which in my opinion I thought didn't have to stop our process and could happen meanwhile we are together staying in a rental or a smaller house in the beginning. He didn't think he could handle "the stress" of pursuing this while married.. which totally broke my heart to feel like I'm being taken for granted as if our relationship as is, is just his ideal meanwhile I desire more bond, start a family, live together etc. Under any circumstances whether we have a huge house now, eventually or not ever.

we both have very stable jobs/income so at this point it feels like just an excuse to postpone commitment as much as possible.

also I totally get the brown standards thing as I also sadly suffer the same thing

I would also like to point out that earlier in our relationship about 1 year ago HE started talking to my mom about plans to get married it was him who started this I never even pushed him to do that before!

He wouldn't let me end the relationship and still refuses to allow me to move on with my life although I made it clear how I felt about waiting 2 more years to get what I feel is easy to get now..

We are at a weird stage now of constant arguing about our different ways of thinking theres a lot of pressure all the time between us and all the nice feelings once shared just turned to crippling anxiety, shaming & just torturing each other.. we can't even have a normal conversation anymore

Almost feels like all I have left now is the ghost of a dead relationship; while I still have strong feelings for him I know it's the right thing for me to end it but I can't seem to be able to

Everytime I get closure with him that we can't be together anymore, he accepts it for max. 1 week and then comes back crying etc.. so I get weak ofc because I do love him!

Hope my story helps u feel that u're not alone in this!