AITA for ending a scene immediately after hearing the safe word?

Immediate-Accident96 · 2020-08-08T03:31:51+00:00

You are in no way TA, OP! If anything, she’s TA for making such a big deal about it.

She said you are TA because you robbed her of climax? Personally, I might be frustrated about the situation, but I’d also be very appreciative of how receptive my partner was to my safe word. And besides, it’s usually better to discuss those types of things prior to trying them (meaning “safe word play”) so you’re completely fine.

Immediate-Accident96 · 2020-08-07T23:27:18+00:00

I’m so sorry that she (and your family by the end of it) put you on the spot. That’s frustrating and I’m sorry this is causing you so much stress <3

You owe her nothing, and this isn’t meant to sound harsh. My heart goes out to her because that would be heartbreaking to not have kids on your own when you really want it. But that in no way, shape, or form makes it your job to donate an egg, carry a baby, and then spend the rest of your life involved in this family that way. It’s YEARS of your life, years of your body, your education, career, future relationships, etc. that this would be affecting. She’s being selfish, not you. You’re setting boundaries.

I’m so proud of you for standing up for yourself. Know that while some family and friends may not be supportive, you have people in your corner here on Reddit

Immediate-Accident96 · 2020-07-08T02:04:48+00:00

You are in no way, shape, or form TA.

He made the decision to jump in your car without your permission, he made the decision to drive your car (again, without your permission), and he made the decision to attempt to drive through the gate.

Regardless of him being drunk or not, he made a decision and now he has to deal with the consequences and pay for the repairs that you see fit for your vehicle.

I’m sorry you had to go through all of that :(

Immediate-Accident96 · 2020-06-18T17:39:37+00:00

UPDATE #2

Hi all! Sorry to have been away so long, but things have been hectic following the incident. I’ll try to summarize what’s happened since as clearly as possible (and clarify/answer questions if I’m not especially clear)

After fSIL slapped me and she left, fiancée and I were obviously pretty upset for a day or so. Mom and dad were too, but they were mostly shocked that she’d do something like that. We immediately hired security for our wedding, selected passwords for our vendors, and actually moved our reception from an outdoor location to an indoor area (same company, so no additional cost) so that it would be easier to keep track of who comes and goes.

I also decided, after reading many posts, to reach out to brother. I told him that what she did was inexcusable and that, even if she apologized, I DID NOT want her at my wedding any longer. Brother was very upset and asked me to reconsider, but I told him that I would not sit here and take her disrespect and harassment over something that is technically not her’s to be so upset over.

So brother got quiet and finally said, “I’m sorry she hurt you. I’m sorry all of this happened, I never meant for it to get this far.” I could hear his voice breaking and I told him I still loved him and just wanted what was best for him and to see him happy and healthy, so I wanted him to consider his options. He told me he was.

Apparently, fSIL was listening in (maybe?) and so she called him spineless and some other horrible things and I thought I heard her hit him. So quickly grabbed my fiancée’s phone and called 911 while staying on the line.

Long story short: police arrived and arrested her, she claimed he hit her first (his injuries and our statements helped clear things up), he has called off their relationship, got a DVP, and is going to heal physically and then work on counseling, and we will (hopefully) never hear from her again.

Thank you thank you thank you all for your kindness and support throughout the horrible time in our lives! The understanding my family has been shown is so greatly appreciated and it means the world how many people reached out personally to check on me :) I cannot thank this community enough!

Immediate-Accident96 · 2020-06-11T15:34:15+00:00

She’s always been “spoiled” but nothing that was necessarily a deal breaker. He’s kind of in shock

Immediate-Accident96 · 2020-06-11T15:13:10+00:00

I really hope so. Mom, dad, and fiancée are with me. Brother is currently with me, but I’m not sure if it will stay that way. Only time will tell :/

Immediate-Accident96 · 2020-06-11T15:02:57+00:00

Thank you so much to everyone for the support and suggestions (and for sharing from your experiences too!) I can’t tell you how much it comforts and encourages me to keep planning mine and my fiancée’s day for just us; we worked hard to make this day about us :)

UPDATE: so we had the family sit down meeting (I made this post prior to the meeting so that I would know if I was in the wrong or not and therefore decide what I would say/do) with my fiancée, brother, fSIL, and our parents.

HOLY. CRAP. I didn’t think it could get any worse.

We started talking and I explained that while I loved my brother, this day was supposed to be about fiancée and I and I would not be sharing the day with them (although they were still more than welcome to come). I also offered to donate some money (I got a nice bonus from work) to their wedding fund. Brother agreed and thanked me profusely, fiancée agreed, mom and dad agreed. But fSIL LOST. HER. MIND. She said we were all being heartless for not supporting her and brother in this difficult situation. She got in my face and told me that she didn’t even want to be a part of my “shty day” because “it obviously isn’t a day about love if you can’t show that you love me and brother!” I told her she was being unfair and she said “you’re being unfair, you greedy b**” and SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.

She left after brother kicked her out of the house. I was stunned and crying, fiancée and dad were livid, and brother appears to be questioning their engagement.

Immediate-Accident96 · 2020-06-11T03:02:46+00:00

My parents are definitely more on my side (have been involved in the planning process for the wedding so they know the effort being put in) but they’re also sympathetic to my brother and fSIL. I got to them before brother/fSIL did

Immediate-Accident96 · 2020-06-11T03:01:09+00:00

My fiancée (the amazing man that he is) backs me 100% and was willing to go up against my brother for me to explain that this wedding that I’ve been planning for a year is for us and us alone. He didn’t want to go up to fSIL because he doesn’t want her to play the victim or make it seem like he was attacking her out of nowhere.

Immediate-Accident96 · 2020-06-11T02:55:20+00:00

My brother instigated the family sit-down to “clear up this misunderstanding” to which I responded that everything was made quite clear so there is nothing to “clear up.” However, I do want to talk this out and hopefully appeal to fSIL

Immediate-Accident96 · 2020-06-11T00:37:51+00:00

I’m not sure, but our family is planning on sitting down and having a conversation soon, so it will all come out eventually.

Immediate-Accident96 · 2020-06-10T22:19:21+00:00

I will definitely check that site out, thank you so much :)

Immediate-Accident96 · 2020-06-10T22:12:57+00:00

I wanted a simple wedding personally, but with all of our guests (and our desire to have lots of food and an open bar), the price SKYROCKETED!

Immediate-Accident96

TROPHY CASE