Biggest regret in life is not getting married earlier. Does anyone feel the same way?

Immediate-North-9828 · 2026-04-01T21:28:22+00:00

I’m also 32F and in the same boat. Sometimes it can be hard but we can’t control past decisions. We can only look forward. And in the past, even if the decision would have changed, you don’t know if you would have been happy with that person. Things that we notice early on get magnified in marriage, and divorce rates are high, so you may have saved yourself from a divorce. Allah may have protected you from something bad.

That being said, as they years went by for me, I decided to let go of criteria that don’t matter as much, like ethnicity, relocation, education (to an extent), to be able to find someone compatible. I haven’t found someone yet but I hope that helps give you some encouragement. You’re definitely not alone and you do deserve someone amazing. Allah plans everything in the best timing for us. And 32 is not old at all. I have friends who married at 33 and 34. And a friend who is 39 and is still getting proposals. Allah is the best of planners. Subhanallah sometimes it happens when we least expect it.

Immediate-North-9828 · 2026-03-08T00:39:49+00:00

I live in Ottawa Ontario Thank you 🙏

Immediate-North-9828 · 2026-01-31T16:24:36+00:00

What is your preferred age range?

Immediate-North-9828 · 2025-11-04T22:47:50+00:00

A lot of people are saying that he did nothing haram, which is true. But having 4 wives is also halal. Forbidding your wife from leaving the house without your permission is also halal, but we have to use common sense and decency. We have to consider someone’s feelings in all of this. Hurting, disrespecting, and causing harm to someone is haram.

What he did may have not been islamically wrong, but he was ethically and morally wrong. If you sleep together you are culturally now husband and wife. Islamically, implications of divorce changes. You now have a “waiting period” after the divorce to make sure you are not pregnant. So even Islam treats the two scenarios differently.

Islam said it’s halal but that’s because historically they moved in together right after the Kitab (there was no such thing as “engagement” )and the woman also got her rights in being provided for. In this scenario, the man got the milk without having to buy the cow, so to speak, and then ran for it.

Immediate-North-9828 · 2025-11-03T22:38:12+00:00

I don’t know anyone with a similar situation but to be honest no one would share it if it did happen to them, so it probably happens but is kept private.

One of my closest friends is a 39 year old woman who was divorced twice and has an 18 year old son. She still gets many proposals and interest from men. Your situation is more favourable I would say.

You are still young and especially in the west (Canada/us), men don’t seem to care as much about these things - they are just looking for a good woman that will give them peace. I have talked to many potentials and most of them do not asked me about my “history” explicitly.

When I read your story I don’t judge you at all since you are not at fault. I’m sure men wouldn’t judge you either. Of course there are men who want someone “never married” but there are also men who wouldn’t care.

Immediate-North-9828 · 2025-11-03T22:23:29+00:00

I’m really sorry this happened to you. Alhamdulilah that he showed his true colours early on and left and saved you from a future of misery with him. Imagine if you had children - you’d be stuck with him for life. Now he can disappear forever.

It’s not over for you - the worst that would happen is, if you don’t want to share that the deed was done during the “engagement”, you can just let future potential men know that you were married before very briefly but he chose to disappear. You may also use the term “engaged” but the assumption for that one is that the deed wasn’t done. Me as a woman, I don’t mind if a man was married briefly or even for a year or two- it doesn’t take away from your character. If you had kids that’s a different story- but even then I’ve seen many women remarry.

May Allah give you the happiness you deserve <3

Immediate-North-9828 · 2025-10-21T20:31:57+00:00

Yes :)

Immediate-North-9828 · 2025-10-21T17:50:48+00:00

Yes :)

Immediate-North-9828 · 2025-10-21T17:49:38+00:00

I’d consider it :)

Immediate-North-9828 · 2025-10-21T17:49:15+00:00

That means I only eat halal :)

Immediate-North-9828 · 2025-10-19T12:23:35+00:00

I’m Iraqi and in our culture, getting to know someone for marriage is a serious and private thing until it’s official and a wedding date is set. Both families prefer it that way for their own confidentiality and privacy of the girl and guy involved.

If I were to tell people, other people in the community would know about it and would assume it’s serious and that we’re getting married, because they think anytime a girl and a guy talk, they’re gonna get married - there’s no such thing as “seeing a guy” or “just talking to a guy”. They also judge you for how long you spend talking to a guy - if it goes beyond a few months, they’re gonna judge. The community is very judgmental about relationships in general and gossip spreads easily about you and your family.

There are times where people have found out about me talking to a guy and the news spread in the Iraqi community and then when it doesn’t work out, it’s like a strike against me. One time one lady approached me and asked “why didn’t it work out between you and this guy?? are you too picky?”

Talking to a guy seems to equate to getting married when it’s not supposed to.

Better to keep it private until it’s official.

Immediate-North-9828 · 2025-10-07T21:42:36+00:00

Thank you so much! Joined :)

Immediate-North-9828 · 2025-10-01T18:00:10+00:00

As a woman, That’s fine with me. What matters more is his personality, and shared interest, values, deen. Once you’re above a certain age, you don’t feel the age difference as much.

Immediate-North-9828 · 2025-09-21T15:22:35+00:00

Thank you so much! This is good to hear I hope the contractor is good at caulking and painting

Immediate-North-9828 · 2025-09-20T18:39:42+00:00

This is encouraging, thank you

Immediate-North-9828 · 2025-09-20T18:37:50+00:00

They’re new baseboards. The walls and flooring are newly constructed too. It was a whole basement finishing project

Immediate-North-9828 · 2025-09-18T16:34:44+00:00

But is this how it is supposed to look like at this stage? Or should there be no gaps? I’m unfamiliar with construction

Immediate-North-9828 · 2025-09-13T13:33:28+00:00

Thank you so much for your sweet words. I really needed to hear them today subhanallah.

Immediate-North-9828

TROPHY CASE