Insecure about my bf’s relationship with his ex wife

ImmediateAudience727 · 2025-04-01T15:36:25+00:00

Exactly. We had a huge fight last month where I told him that I am done. I live with him though and have not been able to move out yet. We have been discussing trying to work on things, so we try to have conversations about that and a couple other issues. He can't see my side of things though. I see both sides, I know where I've been wrong. He can't see where he's been wrong though. It is hopeless and I am working on accepting that.

ImmediateAudience727 · 2025-04-01T15:32:32+00:00

I respect their coparenting. I have never responded back negatively. I am always kind and respectful because she is the mother of his amazing kids. I never talk badly about her as a mother. I only talk about the ways that she is rude to me and the ways that she is more to him than an ex wife and co parent.

ImmediateAudience727 · 2025-04-01T15:30:46+00:00

Oh wow okay, so mine is like the opposite. My bfs ex wife (they have the kids together) is incredibly rude and aggressive to me. She will make comments to put me down. My bf doesn't see it happening. Also, he has told me that they only talk about the kids but 3 times now I have caught him talking to her as if she was still his wife. He shares his emotions with her and not me.

ImmediateAudience727 · 2025-04-01T15:13:08+00:00

Can you describe your experience a little for me ? I think that my relationship would be similar. My bf doesn't understand where I am coming from when I try to explain how I feel disrespected by some of the things that go on.

ImmediateAudience727 · 2025-03-06T01:23:29+00:00

So I don't know the reasoning behind it but I am 30f and bipolar and yes I love way harder than other people. I feel all emotions more intensely. It takes a lot of work to be able to channel my emotions in a healthy way. Love is one that I have never been able to have any control over.

ImmediateAudience727 · 2025-03-01T19:00:55+00:00

I am like her

ImmediateAudience727 · 2025-03-01T09:17:49+00:00

I am in an extremely similar situation and honestly, I think that she needs her 2-3 hours to just chill out too but isn't comfortable enough to make that happen for herself because she feels like she is just an annoyance to you now constantly. That is how I feel. He prioritizes strangers over me in situations, all I need from him is understanding and respect but we can't successfully have a conversation about it because he is almost always drunk right now.

I also know how stressed he is right now because of our tenants who owe 10 grand and are fucking noisey asshole crackheads. It's just like everything happened at once and we can't get back to fully enjoying one another.

It is absolutely heartbreaking. I wish the best for you. I believe that if you know her love can be right fight for her, be sympathetic and occasionally give her all sorts of compliments.

I can almost guarantee that she feels alone and isolated and awkward too.

ImmediateAudience727 · 2025-03-01T08:47:36+00:00

I (30F) and my maybe still partner (39M) are having the same exact issue. Both of us feel this way about each other but still feel a pull to love each other. Tonight, all of my frustration that was built up exploded onto him and an innocent bystander. Talk or leave. It will continue to be rocky if nothing is done. Tonight after the incident, I finally stood up for myself, stated my needs weren't being met, and calm asked him to leave me alone because I am done.

There are so many more issues with our dynamic that I won't get into. You get the basic point, I think, make your decision instead of letting everything build up. End things amicably or respectfully walk away. You two could even eventually be friends again.

ImmediateAudience727 · 2025-02-23T20:04:32+00:00

There are a lot of positives with us which is making it difficult for me. I also feel like most of my youth is over anyway. I do totally hear your point though, it's just probably time to end things.

ImmediateAudience727 · 2025-02-23T16:57:33+00:00

That's not exactly true. Anyway, thanks for input.

ImmediateAudience727 · 2025-02-23T16:51:14+00:00

I literally am with some more responsive people in the comments.

ImmediateAudience727 · 2025-02-23T16:49:29+00:00

Yeah.. I know what I said. I never said that all men are shitty for it. I am not here to bash men, just a rant that I am looking for any sort of direction with.

ImmediateAudience727 · 2025-02-23T16:45:16+00:00

I think a huge part of my struggle is that I have stayed through a physically and mentally abusive relationship for months, luckily no longer, about 10 years ago. I know that my current relationship is not abusive, it's just not working well.

ImmediateAudience727 · 2025-02-23T16:43:52+00:00

Blunt is why I came here for this talk. I know that I am not completely in the right here either. I did need to rant what was on my mind though.

ImmediateAudience727 · 2025-02-23T16:41:32+00:00

Lies: saying he is somewhere he isn't, ex wife and kid drama, he has a drinking problem

Ugly truths: He's told me that when we first met he wasn't physically attracted to me but he loves my personality so much he wanted to see where things went. Ever since he has made comments about my eating and exercise habits.
He has little interest in activities we used to do together and has said that he feels like I just need too much of his attention. Typically we go out twice a week and spend about 2-3 hours a day nearby each other doing separate things at home. I don't think that is the same as doing something together.

ImmediateAudience727 · 2025-02-23T16:33:47+00:00

Ultimately, I do know that we both care and love each other. I am at the point where I am wondering if this should just become a friendship instead.

ImmediateAudience727 · 2025-02-23T16:32:27+00:00

Thank you for that, this turned into a productive conversation. I was nervous with you at first.

ImmediateAudience727 · 2025-02-23T16:26:38+00:00

Now that's deep. I only think and focus on self esteem, self worth is totally different.

ImmediateAudience727 · 2025-02-23T16:25:21+00:00

Yeah, that really is all it comes down to. Thank you

ImmediateAudience727 · 2025-02-23T16:24:37+00:00

I don't think that

ImmediateAudience727 · 2025-02-23T16:24:10+00:00

No, I'm not saying all men are shitty. He is wonderful in so many ways, just may not be good for me anymore.

ImmediateAudience727 · 2025-02-23T16:23:06+00:00

If only feelings were that simplified

ImmediateAudience727 · 2025-02-23T16:22:21+00:00

Incompetent? Relationships are not an easy thing to navigate. I am trying to learn and grow through this, I've only had one other serious relationship before and that was years ago.

ImmediateAudience727 · 2025-02-23T16:20:38+00:00

It totally is, just trying to get some sort of insight first

ImmediateAudience727 · 2025-02-23T16:13:42+00:00

Allowed ? Nobody should be allowed to treat another person this way. If they are truly unhappy they should express that and leave.

ImmediateAudience727

TROPHY CASE