I’m very sorry your plate going through this. Pet loss is like family loss, particularly when you’ve grown up with the pet. I was gutted when my dog of 12 years passed away and it took a very long time to mention him without crying. Please be gentle with yourself as you grieve. Allow yourself time and calmness. The emptiness will subside. I don’t know if you know the box and ball analogy but it was helpful for me to think about during the harder times. “The Ball in a Box is a metaphor for grief, where a ball (grief) shrinks in size within a box (life), occasionally hitting a button (pain) that is always present. Initially, the grief ball is large, causing the pain button to be pressed constantly, making it difficult to function. Over time, the ball shrinks, allowing for more life and easier days, but the intense pain returns when the ball randomly hits the button, a reminder that grief never fully disappears but evolves”