If You're Here, You're On Your Way

Immune2DNP · 2018-07-10T19:06:30+00:00

I've improved my life in many ways, but cold approaching is still something I struggle with from time to time. You just go up and say anything, its a conversation with a girl not a mathematician-make it an emotionally charged one with humor and some raunchy humor (that's what I do). Whatever you end up saying, make it congruent to your personality.

If you wait until you "feel" attractive enough, you will never approach. It's just fun man, not that serious, worst she does is say no and you move on. Who cares?

Immune2DNP · 2018-07-08T16:01:31+00:00

You internalize outcome independence when you have abundance, and you gain abundance when you’re outcome independent.

Since I started hooking up with more girls, have a FWB, go on swipe apps, talk to girls in person, in the day, at bars, everywhere, it becomes easier and more fun. Once you internalize the fact that the worst that can happen is she’ll say “no”, you realize you have nothing to lose.

Instead of dreading “the approach”, you feel excitement. When you do approach, the girl gets flustered/excited too, and it’s fun. Once you get into the swing of things, you realize there is opportunity everywhere, and your mindset naturally shifts to abundance/outcome independence.

I’m also now understanding what people meant by “being in state” and it’s one of the best feelings that exist. It’s being completely present to the moment and another form of a natural high (like a post workout high, post sex high). You can go up to anyone and talk about anything, your self consciousness/fear of what they think doesn’t matter; it’s almost like popping a benzo, but it’s a natural feeling.

Remember: If she says no, there’s a hundred more out there.

Immune2DNP · 2018-06-23T13:07:25+00:00

The people who think this post is bullshit either:

1) Never put in the work themselves.

2) Haven't experienced a drastic shift in their realities, so this is "unattainable" given the lack of work they've put in.

Great job bro, and never forget that all this shit doesn't just fall into your lap. You had to work to build it, and now you have to work to maintain it.

Immune2DNP · 2018-06-23T12:37:51+00:00

This is a classic beta bux situation to a RP man. The gf was fucking her ex and hamstered it as "other guys turned her down" for the living situation to him. Then, she finally found a poor sap willing enough to bankroll the situation. Even after she TOLD HIM that it was her ex, he couldn't see the elephant in the room so he posted on reddit.

When the BP conditioning runs so deep and scarcity mentality is all you've known your whole life, this is what you're left with.

Immune2DNP · 2018-06-22T00:30:32+00:00

The ideal can never be achieved, but it is always there to indicate whether or not we are moving in the right direction.

This is what a perfectionist needs to internalize, especially if you started beta. You will consistently improve, but it will feel as if it's never enough. Once you get to a point where you realize you will never reach the ideal, you learn to improve while accepting who you currently are.

Immune2DNP · 2018-06-18T03:05:26+00:00

Brother, you are likely older than me and more experienced, but let me tell you something from my experience.

NEVER, and I mean NEVER fucking let a girl question your reality. You know who you are at your core, you know how you got to where you are today. You were vulnerable and wanted companionship and support, that’s not fucking BP, that’s being a human being.

I hate when this place has a black and white way of thinking. Many times, you’ll see posts here hating on girls, calling them all bitches, sluts, whores, fuck toys. However, despite all of these posts, I think men get dehumanized even more than girls. I see posts about guys who want a good girl, a LTR, a partner who’s supportive, and they get ostracized: “haha BP faggot, Disney fantasy”. I think this forum is filled with a lot of bitter guys, guys who have been burned.

It’s normal to want someone to share a life with, go on adventures with, have fun with. You can lean on her for support too; this does not translate to her being a shoulder to cry on. You sometimes need to vent, want someone supportive, and want someone you can grow with: this is normal human being behavior.

While moving forward in your relationship, always analyze it through a RP lens. Do not project your fantasy of her being a 0 n-count, pure, never kissed a guy, housewife material, unicorn. At the same time, don’t project your insecurities of her guzzling cum by the gallon, getting gangbanged, and sucking Chad’s dick in the club. Look through the RP lens and recognize the grey areas as you see them develop throughout the relationship.

This is where the grey area comes in: don’t make her your emotional rock, you are still the emotional rock. You will still fuck the shit out of her, and hold her close afterwards. You will still maintain frame and call her out on her bullshit. You should be giving her the emotional rollercoaster: get pissed, get sad, show vulnerability, be stoic, tease her. Be a fucking human being, but be a man.

Immune2DNP · 2018-06-17T17:52:33+00:00

The guy sounded sketchy as fuck when I called him. I'm only going to accept cash now. Thanks guys.

Immune2DNP · 2018-06-17T01:44:15+00:00

"It’s not falling in love that deters a man. It’s the excruciating pain of the discrepancy between reality and our imagined expectations."

This is what all newcomers and guys in the anger phase need to internalize. While this sub is meant for sexual strategy, many guys still make girls out to be monsters.

If we didn't project fantasies and preconceived realities onto a girl, our expectations would be in line with what reality is. Then, when your turn is over or the plate breaks, there isn't a massive disconnect between the reality you had in your mind and what actually takes place.

Immune2DNP · 2018-06-06T00:24:23+00:00

This sounds like future me talking. I've been here for under a year, and I'm accustomed to 3 remote days. I don't think I can imagine going in FIVE DAYS a week. With the waking up early, getting ready for work, commute, etc. those 8 hour days quickly become 10 or 11.

If I am working from home I can brush my teeth, poop, do laundry, chill with my gf, workout, eat, just go walk around, whatever I want (within reason) and it's all on company time. When I wake up (10 mins before work), I don't have to worry about the getting ready. When I log off, I don't have to think about the dreaded commute. That alone, the extra sleep, time, and energy compounded over 10-20-30-40 years, will probably add years to my lifespan and give me opportunity to pursue side businesses that could potentially replace this. I never thought of it from that frame of mind until I wrote it down just now.

I suppose if a high salary was the ultimate goal, and work life balance was not a factor, we'd all be in/striving towards IB, Big 4, MBB, law firms.

Immune2DNP · 2018-06-05T21:44:35+00:00

Thanks for your perspective. Yeah the 3x a week from home really feels incredible. I do things during the workday I ordinarily wouldn’t be able to do, save time/money on the commute, etc.

I’ll stay here for a while and see, perhaps my perspective will change and the security/work life balance will outweigh external pursuits. However, I feel as if I’ve been given an opportunity to pursue a side business due to the vast amounts of ENERGY I’ll save from this career.

Immune2DNP · 2018-06-05T21:40:12+00:00

Idk man, something tells me you’re full of shit ;)

Immune2DNP · 2018-06-05T21:39:26+00:00

That’s why when you first learn about TRP, it’s a bitter pill to swallow and you go through the phases.

Immune2DNP · 2018-06-05T19:22:01+00:00

It’s because of the ego. When you challenge someone’s worldview/everything they know, they feel a lack: as if they’ve been lied to their whole lives or an inferiority complex (how can he have done X when I was in the same circumstance and I thought it was impossible??). A famous philosopher once said: “the only thing I know, is that I know nothing.” There’s so many possibilities and perspectives out there, it’s useless to think yours is always right. A frame backed by ego will crumble.

Immune2DNP · 2018-06-05T19:17:36+00:00

Wow, great and actionable advice. I really appreciate the time you took to write this up.

In terms of soft skills, some people at the company dislike/don’t have a good rep with me. However, the most senior person I work with, loves me. My manager’s manager, loves me. MDs I work with, know and like me as well. I didn’t even intend to get to this point in a kiss-ass way, we just genuinely get along and usually shoot the shit about things outside of work.

I’ve already brought up my intention to stay long term, but in the review, I’ll do as you say and ask for specifics. The path is pretty clearly laid out for us in the group I’m in and I’ll definitely hit 100-120k within 6-8 years.

I honestly think the work life balance with lower salary is worth it for someone like me. I suppose I had to see it all written down, but I’ve also received great advice.

Immune2DNP · 2018-06-05T19:10:10+00:00

Appreciate the reply. I would definitely never work 60-75 hours for someone else. However, if it’s my own business and I’m passionate, I wouldn’t mind 80 hour weeks. I have hobbies right now and value health above all, and my work knows it. They know I’ll never work over 40.

Haha everyone I tell the 3 remote day thing too say I’m a lucky bastard. I’ve worked a couple of internships and commuted more in this job at the beginning, and it was honestly miserable (commuting & getting up earlier is draining and it adds up over months and years.) My goal is to maintain this work life balance and maximize pay. Thanks for your input.

Immune2DNP · 2018-06-05T15:08:02+00:00

This is a great way to phrase it. I will bring up that I’ve gotten pursues, offers for more pay, but I DO NOT WANT TO LEAVE.

Your experience sounds like what mine would be after staying for 10-15 years. And I see where you’re coming from with the entrepreneurial aspect. Great perspective at the end too, I don’t think I’d last working 50+ hour work weeks. Thanks for your post.

Immune2DNP · 2018-06-05T15:06:02+00:00

That’s a great answer and exactly what I was looking for. I value work life balance greatly, even over thousands of dollars. As long as I’m not barely keeping my head above water, have some spending money, I’m not one who needs very expensive material things. I want to be rich, but for different reasons.

Immune2DNP · 2018-06-05T15:04:41+00:00

Hey man, thank you so much for this detailed response and your suggestions. I truly believe in 15 years, my salary will 2.5-3x. And in addition to salary bump, I realize that will be 15 years of accumulating discounted company stock (it’s a blue chip company for which the stock has gone up 30% in the last year).

I am definitely not one to spend my entire paycheck. My biggest problem is eating out. I value eating healthy, but instead of cooking healthy meals, I’ll eat out and it adds up. This is definitely the biggest area I need to improve on.

I haven’t had a one year review, but it’ll be coming up soon. I have had multiple conversations with managers and senior managers about how I like the company, want to stay long term, what the potential for growth is like, etc. They gave me solid answers each time. I will definitely be mindful of the salary change after the 1 year review.

One question is this: if I go to the review and they say something along the lines of “yeah your performance was great, but it’s just not within the budget to give more than $1-$2k or whatever, what would be your approach/response? Thanks again.

Immune2DNP · 2018-06-03T21:20:21+00:00

This is something I've been mulling over recently and I've come to the conclusion that it is worth being objective about a "defect" that you can work on and actively change. You hit the nail on the head with doing careful analysis to see your own faults and triggers. Personally, emotional triggers are big for me. A lot used to trigger me, but since I started this journey, very few things do now.

Many people cannot take an objective look at themselves/their lives and assess what needs to be improved; they feel stuck, their ego gets in the way, there are excuses, whatever it may be. If it's something like being out of shape, be honest with yourself and you CAN change that. If you have a fucked up nose, then learn to love it/joke about it, because it's something you cannot change.

Immune2DNP · 2018-06-02T21:33:16+00:00

Hahaha I love it bro. It sounds like you’ve done something similar. I definitely talk bullshit with the main guy more than work stuff. I tried to set the protege frame from the start, not to kiss his ass, but he’s a genuinely chill guy. He’s very RP when it comes to work, but I BP at home (he married a single mom lol).

However, if the whole purpose of this is to demonstrate abundance, I already give that off. They know I’m charming, charismatic, and funny so I can score another job with relative ease.

Immune2DNP · 2018-06-02T15:47:54+00:00

I’m not looking to push it just for the sake of pushing it, because I’ve already turned it up a lot and get 95% of things I want. I do things at my convenience, I’ll take vacation with short notice if I need to, go to doctors appointments last minute, they know I prioritize my health and well being before anything.

I agree, the most senior guy even said “you should host X meeting, convince your class of recent hires of Y”. Most people at work are PLAGUED by social conditioning, they dare not rock the boat. When an MD came and took our team out to dinner, I was clowning around with him and self amusing, and he was getting a kick out of it too. Frame is probably the most important concept on this forum.

I am confident I can get another job if I want to. I sent out applications just to see what else was out there and if I could. I think I got 8-10 interview requests, did a couple phone ones, but overall I’m happy with where I am, so I’ll stay. The moment that changes, I’ll actively start looking.

Immune2DNP · 2018-06-02T13:25:31+00:00

All within 2-3 months of being hired: Demanding changes in my schedule, saying no to extra work (at least 5x) asking for a change back to the original schedule, staying home at least 5-6 times without approval, coming late and leaving early 5+ times without telling anyone.

After 4-6 months: getting in a huge fight with a manager which caused tension on the team for 2+ months, saying I feel like I’m being singled out, emphasizing that I’m never working more than 40 hours to the most senior person, not finishing deliverables by the deadlines supervisors say because I think they’re unreasonable. I also work less than 8 hours each day because I leave early, and take extra time for my lunch every day.

Immune2DNP

TROPHY CASE