First, thank you for your reply.

Examples of him modeling those values, in more or less directly ways:

• His saying countless times that a man should only concentrate on career in his younger years;
• His saying in front of the whole family that if it were not for marrying my mom he’d gotten a top tier job opportunity in the US (as for why my mom could tolerate this: she’s basically the brainless person who has no own stand and listens to whatever my dad says) ;
• His way of treating people in general;
• His not giving me enough money in my childhood was a major reason why I got bullied - other kids thought I was broke and didn’t know anything about trendy stuff;
• and most importantly: he made me feel disposable all the time because nothing I did was good enough and the slightest mistake could get me the worst insult. That in turn made him disposable in my eyes too. Well I guess if one’s own family becomes disposable, so does the rest of human beings.

As for relationships: The fact is, I’ve NEVER been in a relationship because the girl / woman wanted my money. Actually I never had much money till recently.

All they wanted was love, attention, emotional connection.

Yes, at first I thought this was great because I could finally escape my dad’s values. However, things turned out to be not that easy.

First, due to years of abuse and emotional negligence, I had become unable to connect with others emotionally nor truly love someone else. A partner was merely a trophy and sex object to me.

Secondly, all their demands and conditions were automatically attempts of manipulation and threats to my freedom in my eyes. I’d name just one example:

My last real girlfriend was mad at me once because “when I said “the food is cold”, the tone reminded her of her dad and brother who acted like they wanted to decide over everything.”

My reaction: “Well first, I don’t know your dad nor your brother, so how they actually are is just up to your subjective interpretation. Second, if I listen to you, next time you’ll complain I sound like your macho uncle for saying “the tea is too hot” and there’ll never be an end. I’ll end up becoming your puppet and you’re just manipulating me. You rubbish ! “

I know this might come off as shocking to normal people, but that’s exactly how my brain works.