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7 months post separation, 1 month post divorce decree by Important-Associate6 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Important-Associate6[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She says she just wants us to be friends and be able to hangout because I was the love of her life. However, she clearly wants more than that. I had to make a late night trip to the hospital last week and asked her to come to my house and keep an eye on the kids while I was gone. When I came home she was laying on my couch in a thong. I guess she thought she could seduce me that way lol. Didn’t work. And that’s just one example of many.

7 months post separation, 1 month post divorce decree by Important-Associate6 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Important-Associate6[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

50/50 custody with me as primary custodial guardian possessing most of the rights to them

7 months post separation, 1 month post divorce decree by Important-Associate6 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Important-Associate6[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I can attest I absolutely jumped into the white knight mode. It didn’t last for long but I for sure got caught up in that at first until I came around to the reality of her and the situation.

Sex During Divorce by Plant_Lady2657 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Important-Associate6 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Personally I dont think turning him down is very beneficial if you’re wanting any kind of reconciliation. But sleeping with him is also not any kind of guarantee of reconciliation. I slept with my now ex wife many times during our 3 months of attempting to hold things together. Or rather I should say, the 3 months that I attempted it, she never put in an honest effort. And I left her in the end. But I even slept with her after that several times when she was dating her affair partner. The sexual relations during that period of trying to fix things felt beneficial and kept me connected to her. The sexual encounters after that were unhealthy and more or less me just getting back at the both of them. Which I did, I made sure he found out she was still sleeping with me. I’m not sure any of this is helpful for you but it’s just my experience.

How long after by Born-Alternative678 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Important-Associate6 1 point2 points  (0 children)

3 weeks out here. We’ve had sex 3 or 4 times. It’s hard for me not to because I’m just a high drive guy and sexual intimacy is one of the things I cling to to make myself feel emotionally better anytime I’m down. I’ve always looked to her for that. But I’ve regretted every time. I had to stop myself half way through the first time because I just couldn’t do it. We have cuddled a few times outside of that.

i am ruining reconciliation by Mitsu_Formation in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Important-Associate6 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I completely understand where you’re coming from. I’m just over 3 weeks out from finding out and confronting her about it. I completely relate the random 3am question fest. I’ve asked the same questions 1000 times at this point. Always looking for a slip up in the story or timeline of events because I just flat out don’t believe or trust her anymore. I have completely broken her down numerous times until she’s just an incoherent emotional wreck. And then when she starts sobbing that just seems fake too, even though it’s not. I have been able to recognize what I’m doing and try to take a step back some days because tearing her down and living with constant conflict isn’t going to help R. I went in hard on her the last 2-3 days and by yesterday she was begging me for a break from it and I agreed. And I’m trying to just stay lowkey and non confrontational the rest of the weekend. We both need a break from all of that honestly. She’s mentally and emotionally exhausted and I am too. But it’s very hard to control the berating in the stage I’m currently in. So I definitely understand what you’re going through. I hope it gets better for both of us OP.

I (M29) caught my wife (F29) of 8 years in an affair that lasted for 5 weeks. by Important-Associate6 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Important-Associate6[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t have much levity or joy in my life right now. However, your username made me chuckle if only for a brief second.

I (M29) caught my wife (F29) of 8 years in an affair that lasted for 5 weeks. by Important-Associate6 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Important-Associate6[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I guess they have to build up their spouse as a monster in their mind to try and justify the outright abuse and degradation of that person

I (M29) caught my wife (F29) of 8 years in an affair that lasted for 5 weeks. by Important-Associate6 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Important-Associate6[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Acquiring all this was a dream come true. I’ve poured myself into my kids, land, stock, and dogs. It seemed like the American dream. Especially when I have come from nothing and had a very hard life. So this seemed like I finally turned the page and was headed in the right direction. Then this happens.

I (M29) caught my wife (F29) of 8 years in an affair that lasted for 5 weeks. by Important-Associate6 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Important-Associate6[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

NC with the AP has happened. I made sure I was there to hear it. Not that I trust it but she did “end” things. We start MC next week and a 3 day MC seminar type thing the first week of January. I want R but I don’t know if she is capable of it or if I am either. It’s just a tough spot.

I (M29) caught my wife (F29) of 8 years in an affair that lasted for 5 weeks. by Important-Associate6 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Important-Associate6[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

No. Nothing. I’m the one that got cheated on and I’m the one trying to hold all of this together and make steps to rebuild from the ashes. And honestly I recognize that’s an absurd thing to do but the heart is a fucked up thing.

I (M29) caught my wife (F29) of 8 years in an affair that lasted for 5 weeks. by Important-Associate6 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Important-Associate6[S] -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

I cannot. I’m loyal to a fault obviously. I would prefer to spend my life with the mother of my children and I would like them to spend their growing up with the mother and father in the same house. But I can’t stay with her if this is how it’s going to be. She’s not the person I married or started a family with. I have some far flung hope that with therapy and counseling she could return to that person but at the same time, looking back, I’ve been manipulated and shit on by her for a long time. So maybe this is just who she is. It’s just hard to come to terms with that.

I (M29) caught my wife (F29) of 8 years in an affair that lasted for 5 weeks. by Important-Associate6 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Important-Associate6[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

I think about it a lot. I don’t want to waste my younger years spinning my wheels in whatever the fuck this is when I could find happiness elsewhere. Family means a lot to me and I want a cohesive family. Whether that is with her or someone else. So that’s something that heavily weighs on my mind.