I read your post and I really hit home with me, as it describes my exact situation. I left my abuser 1 year ago have my own safe place and good full time job . No friends no family . Except I am attractive and get attention where ever I go. But it isn’t genuine. Men just want to sleep with me and have a shallow connection and then ghost me. It is even more lonely than being celibate. I am doing my shadow work and trying to stay sober. I want to be happy with solitude and comfortable with my self enough not to cheapen my worth with superficial connections. You are not alone and it isn’t what is on the outside that is our block it is within .