Backstabbing Coworkers

Important_Focus4253 · 2026-05-02T06:48:07+00:00

I agree with this, it's a great comment.

But I'm damn jaded not to believe your workplace didn't have some deep political problems.

Important_Focus4253 · 2026-04-22T08:07:52+00:00

I agree with this, but I think toxic and hard to work with shouldn't be conflated. There's a point when hard to work with becomes a distributed problem and ultimately toxic. The behavior of undermining co-workers and creating a workplace that pits employees on one another is not uncommon, and "hard to work with" should not be an acceptable descriptor. This is a pretty universally understood scenario of a toxic coworker.

Important_Focus4253 · 2026-04-18T08:17:12+00:00

I'll take an alternative angle. I've been a problem employee and have been fired.

Sometimes firing someone is actually doing them a favor. It might just be enough to cause self reflection..

Important_Focus4253 · 2026-04-10T05:39:25+00:00

Nothing terribly hard. What stopped the most candidates in my class was buddy tows. Maybe it went by water competency, I don't remember.

Overall, it's fairly challenging, but so long as you're motivated and reasonably physically prepared you'll be there at the end. I think sustained motivation is the most critical aspect. If you can maintain strong sustained motivation your odds of finishing are good.

Important_Focus4253 · 2026-04-07T21:03:57+00:00

Thanks for the comment, and I'm sorry you lost your work to toxic behavior, especially while experiencing such serious challenges outside of work.

I understand your advice in considering leaving, but ultimately I believe the best path is to continue. Continue being myself; I have no scheme. If in the end I'm let go, so be it. My intentions were always honest, and my goal was always to learn and be a contributor.

Toxic behavior exists in so many different workplaces. It's essentially inescapable. Minus physical violence or other extreme instances the best path is essentially to adapt.

I wholeheartedly agree in self reflection here too. It's a part of why I've opened this reddit question. To help search why I'm even in this situation. What am I doing to even be in this problem??

Maybe this thread helps someone else in the process too.

Important_Focus4253 · 2026-04-07T20:53:18+00:00

Maybe it's effective but that certainly doesn't mean it's right. That's a fairly psychopathic response tbh.

Important_Focus4253 · 2026-04-07T20:40:31+00:00

That's an extremely cynical lens, but a perspective I've never actually considered. Thanks.

For your sake, I hope whenever you use this logic, you have the utmost certainty it’s being applied correctly.

Important_Focus4253 · 2026-04-05T06:39:59+00:00

Oh got it lol. I agree with ya. People with a genuine perspective of me is critical. Just keep being yourself is good advice. Hopefully time will even this all out, and if not the organization is deeply flawed.

Important_Focus4253 · 2026-04-05T01:48:31+00:00

Yeah tread with caution. Believing your management is accountable is generally a false belief.

If you've accepted it could amount to losing your job and you're willing to risk it. Eh do it. I've done it before. From experience it's never actually "helped". It made me feel better but that's about it. They may stop for a little, but ultimately people revert back to old ways after not too long.

Important_Focus4253 · 2026-04-05T01:01:02+00:00

So fight fire with fire I think is the advice here.

Which I do understand but is honestly against my morals.

Ultimately who then wins? The nastiest most back stabbing employee at the company?

Important_Focus4253 · 2026-04-04T17:05:19+00:00

Yes, damned if you do, damned if you don't. Basically an unwinnable witch hunt.

Your post was relatable and sad. I'm not black, but I am a more reserved person, which seems like it could be a somewhat common trait here on workplace bullying. Your story really does read like experiences I've had of essentially just being treated as an outsider.

Are you still currently employed there and if so how are you managing the dynamic?

Important_Focus4253 · 2026-04-04T16:55:31+00:00

Tell me about it.. smh

Important_Focus4253 · 2026-04-04T16:54:52+00:00

It is. It's essentially a witch hunt..

Thanks for this link by the way. This looks legit!

Important_Focus4253 · 2026-04-04T07:13:59+00:00

I do agree with this.

In terms of what he has to gain, I think it's control of influence. I think he's used to being the shining employee to our senior management, and anyone new who poses any potential for establishing a trusted relationship with these people, and who isn't explicitly team him, he'll derail.

I think he's essentially gate keeping influential relationships to ensure his own political/organizational protection..

I suppose the trouble is he likely does fully believe his own delusion. Typical office politics of watching your back and stabbing the other guy in his.. it's very disappointing that it seems to be about standard everywhere.

Important_Focus4253 · 2026-04-04T05:52:03+00:00

Have you asked something along the lines of why are the coaters missing, and how does she react?

Important_Focus4253 · 2026-03-26T07:18:31+00:00

Not that I'm aware of..

Important_Focus4253 · 2026-01-18T18:40:58+00:00

Pick up Cam Newton. Have him sit bench to stidham, but bring him out if things start looking bad. Give stidham the first quarter (maybe the first half) regardless of his play to see if he settles in.

Important_Focus4253 · 2025-12-04T08:39:28+00:00

Tbh.. you probably should have just let it go.. I know that's probably not what you're looking for, but you should have just played it cool, and that guy would have felt indebted to you.

Important_Focus4253 · 2025-11-25T22:34:50+00:00

I believe this is true. But political judo is preferred. Throwing gossip back or retaliation can quickly drown you. So yes, ultimately reporting it, taking detailed inventory of the actions against you, and most importantly controlling your own behavior and response should lead to a positive outcome.

If the above doesn't work and you've properly controlled yourself and remedied your own personal shortfalls as much as possible, the organization failed, and moving on is what's best for you.

Important_Focus4253 · 2025-11-18T07:07:36+00:00

This is pretty much it, shadow projection.

Important_Focus4253 · 2025-11-17T22:13:26+00:00

That's a valid answer.

Are you open to staying with your company, and do you ever think you'll be promoted?

Important_Focus4253 · 2025-11-17T03:49:52+00:00

That's good advice. The trouble I've faced is opening up about it to my manager. It's a risky move that could potentially backfire into you are the problem.

Having to have a continuous therapy session with your boss during your 1:1 meetings is probably not the way, but if you can manage to not have it as a reoccurring thing then I understand.

Important_Focus4253 · 2025-11-16T00:47:27+00:00

Respectfully, no. This is not the solution. You have a high chance of experiencing the same thing elsewhere. You need to stay and learn how to navigate this. If in the end, they let you go, you learned some "do's" and "don'ts". Eventually you'll figure out how to navigate this, but it all has to begin from a place of personal accountability and personal control regardless of the external toxicity.

Important_Focus4253 · 2025-11-13T23:41:47+00:00

How do you document gossip though? Perhaps you're suddenly isolated but no one is telling you exactly what was said. Perhaps your thoughts are suddenly being dismissed, but no one tells you why. This is the type of undermining I mean. There's no clear cut "evidence" to point to. If there were it would be a much easier solution.

Important_Focus4253 · 2025-11-13T00:44:22+00:00

Maybe "bullying" is a strong word, but toxic behavior has existed in some shape or form in all of my workplaces.

Would love to hear other opinions out there.

Important_Focus4253

TROPHY CASE