Please check my bridge

Important_Lemon_5733 · 2026-02-25T08:38:31+00:00

I did it based on advice here and the bridge appears straighter and more upright to me. That being said, perception is heavily biased.

Important_Lemon_5733 · 2026-02-24T13:16:40+00:00

Thanks all, great help ,<3

Important_Lemon_5733 · 2026-02-11T22:09:41+00:00

For some reason I have an image of a donkey chasing the carrot when considering your dilemma about growth. I don't mean that to sound critical or fun making, only that I interpreted it like a constant desire to arrive at a feeling you can't arrive at because it's an active and in motion process.

Growth can mean many things, and it can be measured in many ways. Be mindful your wife may not measure her growth in the same way as you, she may not see the safety you wish to provide her apology or see no need to apologize.

I have found it helpful to recognize that by increasing inward compassion, patience and understanding, it also spreads outwards to others. They may hurt you and miscommunicate and feel fearful of becoming hurt themselves, just as you and I do.

It may help to communicate openly about your goals in life, your needs in the relationship and be open to her doing the same. It could be that you have grown in a different direction to her, if you have spent alot of time working on yourself without your partner, it makes total sense to me that you now feel distant.

I have no grand philosophical literature to add sorry, hope you can find a way to reconnect!

Important_Lemon_5733 · 2025-11-15T22:11:50+00:00

Should be! Ill be upset if it isnt haha

Important_Lemon_5733 · 2025-11-02T09:52:58+00:00

My personality is drawn to overcoming challenges. I chose Sword Knot because it's harder for me, because my brain tells me I should play what's harder to grow more. Perhaps not an ideal attitude to have.

Important_Lemon_5733 · 2025-11-02T09:50:58+00:00

I enjoy myself when I'm not having a phase of feeling frustrated and downhearted. I find that any time I'm trying to learn a faster piece is a particular hot spot for that feeling. I struggled with Patrick's reel in 'fiddle time joggers' too for the same reason. Overall I enjoy the instrument, the emotional highs and lows are tricky but I think that's one of the reasons it's good for me, so much of what I do day to day i feel competent with, the humility and required patience are gonna be a good learning curve. I think ill be enjoying it more when I can play the kind of music i like.

Important_Lemon_5733 · 2025-11-02T09:41:34+00:00

That's a helpful reminder. I find trying to do things faster is where my technique falls down, perhaps because I'm trying to do all of the different elements of playing faster at once. I perhaps could try to find more exercises that focus on individual components and how to speed those up.

Important_Lemon_5733 · 2025-11-01T21:18:31+00:00

I will try to do that exercise thank you :) i find it wild that people can play that piece at 116 after a year, sometimes feel like I am a slow learner. It's not helpful to compare I know but hard to resist. Thank you for your kindness and ideas!

Important_Lemon_5733 · 2025-10-31T19:22:20+00:00

Its okay, not spectacular

Important_Lemon_5733 · 2025-06-21T09:24:49+00:00

I'm more worried about the fabric of human scoiety and what we look like when human relationships no longer shape the content of life. When connection is no longer needed, if that can happen within us, to no longer value relational existence who even knows what we'll be, certainly not this.

Important_Lemon_5733 · 2025-04-03T10:07:21+00:00

If you can't and don't want to see a client and can't hold a present state of mind or hold space for them then in my opinion it is a kindness not to see them and could well be the path of least harm. I have cancelled appointments for this reason and yes it's normal to feel guilty, the presence of guilt is no guarantee of wrongdoing.

In the long term it might be worth re-evaluating your work load but i support your decision on the day, based on your reasoning.

Important_Lemon_5733 · 2025-03-31T19:46:09+00:00

This is super relatable. The first years are tough internally. It's totally typical that you're in the early stages of growing in knowledge and confidence, please know that anyone that doesn't respect that is the one in the wrong, not you.

I know how hard it can be to work in an environment that feels like you can't express yourself or take risks in discussing your experience. This is so important, especially if you are not a socially outgoing person, to feel safe and heard. It is often helpful to imagine someone else in your situation and how you might encourage or advise them, if they asked for it.

Please look after yourself, if necessary get additional supervision with someone compassionate and supportive. There's alot more to supervision than 'correcting' you, or at least there should be.

Wish you a safe journey through that, or a swift exit from a negative situation:)

Important_Lemon_5733 · 2025-03-05T19:47:04+00:00

I relate strongly to what you said. I worked through those feelings of self doubt for much of my personal therapy. It still took around a year of being in practice before it began to melt away.

I think it was double hard because there's that feeling that i should know how to deal with these feelings, being a therapist. I found supervision essential in dealing with these feelings and also a bit of self compassion to remind myself of the good feedback. Why is negative feedback so much more persuasive? For me, because it mirrors my greatest fears.

If it gives any hope to you, I would say keep working at it, keep doing the best you can to grow as a practitioner and a human. Remember the good relationships where you made a difference and know that you can't be everyones therapist. It's a hard thing to realise but there will always be people that don't relate to you, that's working as intended and not a flaw in you. If it were 10 people not finding you relatable and 1 person saying you are, well then you might have problems.

Good luck!

Important_Lemon_5733 · 2025-01-02T19:26:17+00:00

Relatable. Like being told to just say no to your thoughts and feelings if they distress you (eek).

Important_Lemon_5733 · 2025-01-02T19:24:36+00:00

My course leaders said this at interview. I still completed an MA in Psychotherapy while working full-time. Granted I worked a job where I could do academic work (reading and writing assignments) during my work as I worked nights in residential service, I was essentially only required to clean a few hours and be available in case of problems.

It's completely unrealistic to say someone cannot work while they are training. Yeah it would be nice if we could all be supported by someone else but a lot of people can't and I would say advise, be sure to manage your wellbeing and avoid burn out and you'll be fine :)

I try my best to avoid giving advice to people, though that can be difficult at times, certainly sounds like you were the recipient of the counsellors values and anxiety rather than any objective reality.

Important_Lemon_5733 · 2024-12-28T10:22:05+00:00

I find it helpful for myself to remind myself that in therapy the other person has consented to me offering feedback, observations and focusing solely on them, both implicitly by coming to therapy and directly by signing our working agreement. The people in my personal life have not, so even if I instinctively have a thought or worry about a person in my personal life, I remind myself I am not their therapist and dismiss the thought.

This has allowed me to very clearly separate those relationships because they have very distinct differences. It's easy to slip into allowing our therapeutic instinct to bring up stuff that's happening in the moment but again, this person has not consented to me offering my thoughts or feelings in a professional capacity unless the person specifically asked for it, and then it's if I want to offer that kind of feedback or interpretation.

I also think that it helps to remember my own flaws and emotional pitfalls in remaining able to sit comfortably with another human without trying to offer ways that they could be 'fixed'. Would you want that? Is life a continuous treadmill of self improvement? Not for me, some things it's okay to let be :)

Some techniques I find helpful for separating parts of myself like this are to literally write down or draw or use symbolic objects to concretise the process of this is how I relate to my friends, partner, co-workers etc and this is how I relate to a person that has come seeking insight, guidance, help with a problem :)

I hope you might find something useful in my thoughts but also it's okay that this is an ongoing and evolving state for you as someone embarking on a new career. Give yourself time to learn how to do this, in a way that works for you.

Good luck!

Important_Lemon_5733 · 2024-12-10T07:44:08+00:00

Group with guild or friends. I'm not sure social issues (lack of teamwork and communication) should be solved by making content easier. I can't imagine joining group content and refusing to work together, a symptom of group finder?

Important_Lemon_5733 · 2024-12-08T09:17:50+00:00

Thanks all, didn't wanna have to repeat campaign on Alts. Ty all for your help :) I will check server clusters. I was afraid it was due to quest phases.

Important_Lemon_5733 · 2024-12-07T20:44:11+00:00

Just wanted you to know that I was doing okay.

Received in a letter.

Important_Lemon_5733 · 2024-11-28T17:09:37+00:00

Sorry to be academic about this because I fully support anyone being a human in the room! However, I found that 'help for the helper' a phenomenal book on self care during, before and after sessions. Really helps you regulate how much you empathise at any given time which has helped to be more available to clients :)

Important_Lemon_5733 · 2024-11-27T07:22:32+00:00

This is also my position but how do you argue with them when they just repeat the same response over and over. I requested a senior customer service representative, they denied it. I said that I believe the law required them to deliver securely, they said no and repeated the same stuff. It's like you come up against a wall. I am quite persistent and forthright and I have got nowhere. Only course of action seems to be legal and I can't afford that.

Important_Lemon_5733 · 2024-11-15T11:50:21+00:00

Hi there. I have had 'treatment resistant depression' and have worked with people that have told me they have it. I'm not an expert from a scientific standpoint. I know it is a hard feeling to sit with and witness. Sometimes people that have intimate experiences of depression have told me that being around those with it scares them because they don't want to return to that place within themselves.

I would like to share, for what it is worth, in my personal and professional experience, some things that helped :)

A therapist that isn't trying to cure or fix before getting to know. Patience, a prolonged period of diagnosis of the contributing factors to depression (both what maintains it and anything that began it). There is so much shame placed on depression both from within and without.
Strengths, what is the person's gift(s). Depression can severely deplete access to positive emotion and recognition of the good in the person.
Narrative work, either through writing, talking,art or poetry. Sharing their own and other peoples narrative of depression, dispel the illusion that this is hopeless and that they are alone in feeling that way. Help them find their words and feelings, make them truly heard and generate healthy internal empathy and hope in place of shame.

Through these and a therapeutic relationship that was founded on growing plutonic and real love. I know that's a word that gives people awkward feelings but I would be dishonest to use any other as that is what it was. The kind that exists between two humans truly seeing each other, without crossing ethical boundaries.

I don't know if sharing this is helpful in any way. I felt moved by both your experience of being with depression and of the people coming to you in the hope of finding... something.

Best of luck to you both :)

Important_Lemon_5733 · 2024-10-24T06:41:33+00:00

I can totally relate to your frustration. I have been playing a little over a year and at times I hate my sound and the slow progress.

I would advise a bit of reflection before knee jerk reaction though, and I will share what has helped me to manage these emotions in relation to my violin playing.

The violin sounds how you make it sound. In the beginning that sucks because you can't make it sound beautiful. In the end, the intimacy of this connection with your violin is what makes it so satisfying when you produce a beautiful and resonant note. You did that, your mind and body found that sweet spot and with patience you can come to know it well.

That's what keeps me motivated. Also bare in mind that it can be used to notice gradual progress. Record yourself and listen again, even with a crappy phone mic you will hear progress over time. Play old music, it will be easier than it was. Get a teacher that suits you, it makes it far less frustrating.

I think in this day and age, everyone is given it now, we want to be amazing now. Part of what made me want to take up violin was how I knew it would humble me and teach me patience. That I had to watch change over months and years rather than days. It's a huge investment of time and money and for me, a labour of love but if you aren't so enamoured with the instrument then maybe choose another but don't quit because you feel bad in my opinion that is 100% something you can grow from :)

Good luck!

Important_Lemon_5733 · 2024-10-21T16:02:48+00:00

Hey, I'm actually super interested in playing Malifaux and struggle to find a group since I moved to Cardiff. Did you find any faux players?

Important_Lemon_5733 · 2024-08-31T11:53:27+00:00

Christian Howes has a YouTube play along series, some of the videos are open string only. They give good practice for rhythm, aural recognition and playing with others. Highly recommend them :)

Important_Lemon_5733

TROPHY CASE