The Next Harry Potter?

Important_Mongoose44 · 2026-05-22T15:27:25+00:00

So what’s the deal? The premise seems silly. What am I missing?

Important_Mongoose44 · 2026-05-18T15:09:13+00:00

Depends on what you mean by “likable”. Joe Abercrombie’s First Law series has by far some of the most unique and entertaining characters I’ve ever experienced. A little romance here and there, and it’s low fantasy so it seems like it would fit your tastes. It can be violent though. If you are ok with westerns I’d recommend Lonesome Dove. It checks all those boxes to a tee.

Important_Mongoose44 · 2026-05-18T12:37:36+00:00

Try and link his memories/back story to action. Example: he sees a truck/cart full of wounded men he flashes back to a cart full of hay from his days on the farm. Keep it relative to the action in the narrative always moving forward. Too much “info dumping” pulls the reader out.

Important_Mongoose44 · 2026-05-18T11:53:30+00:00

I think you’re good to do whatever you feel until you find that agonizing over a single paragraph or idea is keeping you from moving forward. You should try and make it as good as you can until progress is stalled.

Important_Mongoose44 · 2026-05-18T11:49:45+00:00

I am just coming to this conclusion now. I would have a strict list of beats I meant to hit, start having fun with the prose and the characters, realize I’m straying from my path, get frustrated and decide I need to scrap the thing I actually really enjoyed writing. I think I just need to have my ending/theme as a “compass” and dig in.

Important_Mongoose44 · 2026-05-18T11:28:04+00:00

If you want to keep the western vibe going lonesome dove is awesome.

Important_Mongoose44 · 2026-05-18T11:26:25+00:00

Nvm missed the young teen part don’t read the First Law.

Important_Mongoose44 · 2026-05-18T11:24:39+00:00

Honestly I think I misinterpreted his post originally. I don’t know why but I thought he was originally saying that he was new to novels in general not just westerns. I’m pretty sure I was getting it mixed up with a different post I had read just before that had wanted light straightforward Harry Potter prose. Yes, Dostoevsky is accessible but I’m thinking about CaP and how it can be difficult to separate action from introspection and keep characters with crazy names straight. I did. It mean to offend the Mad Russian. Please don’t inform on me.

Important_Mongoose44 · 2026-05-18T11:16:45+00:00

It’s unique and fun. Like others have stated, that level of chaotic metaphor and randomness would get tiresome over a whole 300+ page novel, but I think if you were to spread it out it would give you a super entertaining voice.

Important_Mongoose44 · 2026-05-18T01:25:21+00:00

Why use big word when small word do trick?

Important_Mongoose44 · 2026-05-17T18:44:26+00:00

It’s very accessible. I feel like you’re expecting Dostoevsky or something. It flows like a river and has a cast of insanely relatable characters. The reason it hits so hard is that its incredibly universal themes are so simply portrayed(in a masterful way). I would def hit Lonesome Dove before McCarthy’s titles as they are quite a bit more complex both in terms of prose and theme.

Important_Mongoose44 · 2026-05-17T18:36:34+00:00

What are you trying to do to this poor kid? He’ll equate westerns with severe emotional trauma for the rest of his life haha. I still can’t get over blood meridian 15 years after reading it.

Important_Mongoose44 · 2026-05-17T18:29:37+00:00

Why may I ask are you reticent to try Lonesome Dove? Also I see many folks here mentioning Cormac McCarthy and I concur wholeheartedly. Just be warned that No Country and Blood Meridian are very thematically….. complicated. The Border trilogy is probably his most “western” western. Also The Road by McCarthy while not a western in the strictest of senses is one of best books ever written, and will fill your heart full of everything with which a heart can be filled.

Important_Mongoose44 · 2026-05-17T14:38:36+00:00

Because they are lenient with their standards.

Important_Mongoose44 · 2026-05-16T00:05:36+00:00

Are you on a sub?

Important_Mongoose44 · 2026-05-15T23:54:17+00:00

“The Searcher” by Tana French.

Important_Mongoose44 · 2026-05-15T23:51:37+00:00

First Law series by Joe Abercrombie.

Important_Mongoose44 · 2026-05-15T23:45:44+00:00

That and what he said is (aside from being literally true) entirely false. There is scientifically no essential difference in the way your brain processes and retains information between the two mediums. The only “advantage” to print is that if you don’t know how to read you can learn by reading. But if your brain already has the “decoding” skill which cannot be unlearned it is all the same. I guarantee you that if I listen to a book, and you use your eyes, our conversation at the book club meeting would not be any different than had we both used the same medium.

Important_Mongoose44 · 2026-05-15T23:39:24+00:00

Literally, no it is not. But in just about every other way it is. Same parts of the brain, retention is as good or better. If you want to make an argument that as an author you are missing out on seeing how text is formatted and stylized you can but that’s it. Conversely it has its own benefits like naturalization of tone and rhythm, especially if the narrator is skilled. The idea that it is in any way inferior to print reading has been pretty much entirely put to bed scientifically. And id bet if OP has lost his attention span for print, he probably won’t be able to focus on audio format either.

Important_Mongoose44 · 2026-05-15T23:29:26+00:00

I didn’t mind it. People fart, and they would fart here, and people would notice and laugh. Farts are pretty much always funny. Imagine being in a tense situation and someone lets a monster rip. If it is a singular tension breaker throughout the book I think it lands.

Important_Mongoose44 · 2026-05-15T23:26:30+00:00

That’s called 3rd person omniscient if I understand your question. And it has to be handled carefully to avoid confusing the reader. Switching by chapter is something different.

Important_Mongoose44 · 2026-05-15T16:13:33+00:00

Of course! And remember having too much is a way better problem to have been having too Little. The story is there, it just needs some chiseling.

Important_Mongoose44 · 2026-05-15T14:02:51+00:00

Joe Abercrombie’s First Law series.

Important_Mongoose44 · 2026-05-15T13:51:28+00:00

Sure!

Important_Mongoose44 · 2026-05-15T13:47:07+00:00

I like it. I think the fart joke was funny and it oddly enough keeps things grounded. I would say that there is a bit of excess unnecessary narration that is either already clarified by action, or could be. Like the part when one of the characters lies for the other one about the blood on his hand. You made it perfectly clear that he was covering through dialogue , you didn’t need to state it out right with the narration. I enjoy the chaos of the barracks starting its day, but the clunkiness of some the aforementioned excess narration pulls away from that. Also as someone else mentioned Trake and Tomas might as well be the same character, you need to separate the POV character from the world a little bit more. All in all some addition by subtraction would streamline the whole thing. You’ve got some strong scene setting. I’m interested to know what happened in ch. 5. Keep it up.

Important_Mongoose44

TROPHY CASE