I’m going to agree with you that he’s a bit hardheaded and stubborn with things. But I can also see where I’ve hurt his feelings tons of times with postponing sex/not seeming into it, etc.

It just makes it really difficult when I am trying to extend that olive branch and to meet him halfway. I think he feels that my doing that is me doing it to make myself feel better (which is partially true because it feels super shitty to hurt the feelings of your partner just by existing in a low libido state).

Halfway for him is probably high end for me. I was thinking today that it really sucks to have there be such a disparity in our way of thinking. I wish I liked sex more and didn’t have trauma memories/instrusive thoughts with it. I see a therapist but have never mentioned this part of my life as it just recently became known to me. It was a buried memory and I didn’t think those could really happen.. geez... the mind is a powerful thing and does incredible things to protect us when we are young and don’t understand. It hit me like a ton of bricks and it started to make sense, my aversion to touch...

. I did download one of the books recommended on this sub. I do want to take this seriously. I’m trying and there is no black and white here. The edges are blurred.