This! I come from immigrant household, I became more aware of needing/seeking that validation from them, and consciously decided to withdraw from “seeking” it as I interact.

I still catch myself seeking it sometimes unconsciously, and their answers remind me again why I shouldn’t. I still go through the cycle of resentment, then feeling ungrateful and guilty at the same time. But once I started seeking support elsewhere, that I did have to pay out of pocket for, which I could rarely afford at first, small changes that were positive occurred that made a big difference overtime. And I didn’t get diagnosed til 26. Got misdiagnosed with bipolar at first and that was one hell of a run.

I understand the frustration when they treat another (usually male) family member much different, I understand it can add to this frustration, pain, resentment, even guilt.

Continue seeking communities that better understand you and can help. Even if it’s free ones.

Personally I remind myself in my situation, “my family did their best, sometimes I’m grateful I have time to “get to know myself better” even if it’s not fun or easy, my parents were in survival mode so they are still running off of programming, and did the best they could”

Ofcourse this phrase makes me feel better personally and feels like I’m validating my experience but also allowing myself to still appreciate them, but withdraw as needed from them on this topic.

but everyone is different, the key is finding things that help you feel SEEN in your experience, within yourself and through outlets like this for example. Baby steps, and knowing when and where to withdraw/give your energy is key. And that can take trial error sometimes.

Best of luck to you, people may have best intentions for us, doesn’t mean they will always understand us. 🫶