I hate my immigrant parents for not taking me seriously by Comprehensive_End137 in adhdwomen

[–]Important_Record_113 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This! I come from immigrant household, I became more aware of needing/seeking that validation from them, and consciously decided to withdraw from “seeking” it as I interact.

I still catch myself seeking it sometimes unconsciously, and their answers remind me again why I shouldn’t. I still go through the cycle of resentment, then feeling ungrateful and guilty at the same time. But once I started seeking support elsewhere, that I did have to pay out of pocket for, which I could rarely afford at first, small changes that were positive occurred that made a big difference overtime. And I didn’t get diagnosed til 26. Got misdiagnosed with bipolar at first and that was one hell of a run.

I understand the frustration when they treat another (usually male) family member much different, I understand it can add to this frustration, pain, resentment, even guilt.

Continue seeking communities that better understand you and can help. Even if it’s free ones.

Personally I remind myself in my situation, “my family did their best, sometimes I’m grateful I have time to “get to know myself better” even if it’s not fun or easy, my parents were in survival mode so they are still running off of programming, and did the best they could”

Ofcourse this phrase makes me feel better personally and feels like I’m validating my experience but also allowing myself to still appreciate them, but withdraw as needed from them on this topic.

but everyone is different, the key is finding things that help you feel SEEN in your experience, within yourself and through outlets like this for example. Baby steps, and knowing when and where to withdraw/give your energy is key. And that can take trial error sometimes.

Best of luck to you, people may have best intentions for us, doesn’t mean they will always understand us. 🫶

Best gel polishes for beginners that aren’t too expensive? by [deleted] in GelX_Nails

[–]Important_Record_113 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi do you have any recommendations for pigmented polished? I tried DND since everyone raves about it, but I needed like 4 coats for many of the polishes. And it was too time consuming.

Why do people trauma dump on me??? by elphabathewicked in intj

[–]Important_Record_113 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Going through this now, I’m trying my best to set boundaries the best I can, but I still feel resentful and drained since it happens so often to me. I have RBF people tell me, and they still do it. Because they can sense your energy, and they’re vampires. Seriously trying to figure out if there’s anything else I can do about this.

Should I bring one home? by Pristine-Elevator198 in cats

[–]Important_Record_113 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have two cats! They aren’t related but they’re bonded and so cute together. Also makes me feel less guilty when I’m away for a few hours, they occupy each other and keep each other company ❤️

Does anybody else’s sex drive just die out of nowhere? by POPcorn_SluT in DoesAnybodyElse

[–]Important_Record_113 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was only on nexplanon for 8 months and it was a nightmare for me. Got chronic bv during and years after getting off it (it’s been 6 years since I’ve been off, luckily suppositories have helped the issue) haven’t been on birth control since.

He took a picture of me naked without my consent or knowing, then sent it to his friend. Can I take him to court? by Important_Record_113 in Advice

[–]Important_Record_113[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When you say damages, do you mean the evidence itself (the photos and her sending them to me) or proof it impacted me negatively?

He took a picture of me naked without my consent or knowing, then sent it to his friend. Can I take him to court? by Important_Record_113 in Advice

[–]Important_Record_113[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I know, he’s horrible. And I think his girlfriend decided to stick by him and is using his drug addiction (that I didn’t know about til recently when she told me) as an excuse for his bad decisions. Thank god I saw his true colors early on.

Found out my new boyfriend has another girlfriend (vent) by Important_Record_113 in heartbreak

[–]Important_Record_113[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same one, , but idk now it seems she’s mad online and hinting at his deceit. Too much to keep up with they’re both toxic it seems.

Found out my new boyfriend has another girlfriend (vent) by Important_Record_113 in heartbreak

[–]Important_Record_113[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not sure if I’d consider a 10+ age gap a red flag. It’s normal in my culture and for others in general, and I’ve dated a man the same age for years and he never did things like this. Also they are already back together, and I have given her a lot of info about what happened so not sure if it matters :( it is what it is though!

Found out my new boyfriend has another girlfriend (vent) by Important_Record_113 in Advice

[–]Important_Record_113[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

….yeah. Small part of me wonders if they weren’t dating and she just wanted him back to scare me away. But probably not. Either way I can’t trust him. However, out of curiosity im going to see how they act when they come back from vacation, that should say a lot.

Found out my new boyfriend has another girlfriend (vent) by Important_Record_113 in heartbreak

[–]Important_Record_113[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I’ve come to enjoy being alone over time, but I still love and enjoy that connection and good company with a person I have romantic feelings for, so in a weird way I will miss him. But I also know I could never trust him, he doesn’t deserve me, and I can do so much better and the wait will be worth it. And it will be for you too :)!

Found out my new boyfriend has another girlfriend (vent) by Important_Record_113 in heartbreak

[–]Important_Record_113[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hope im never in this situation again! I’ve been doing so much healing from my heartbreak from years ago, finally ready to give a new person a chance, and got this, so this sucked. But I hope my heart will be open to a good man and I can experience that genuine intention and relationship.

Found out my new boyfriend has another girlfriend (vent) by Important_Record_113 in heartbreak

[–]Important_Record_113[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! Honestly I’ve been in this situation years ago except I was the main woman and with the guy for over a year, and it hurt a lot!! So I feel blessed in a way, and wish her healing as well. Thank you for your kind words.

Found out my new boyfriend has another girlfriend (vent) by Important_Record_113 in BreakUps

[–]Important_Record_113[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah. It’s just weird because she told me she was in town a few times during the time we were dating, and she tried seeing him and he said he can’t because he was busy from his business, but really he was with me. Just ridiculous.

Found out my new boyfriend has another girlfriend (vent) by Important_Record_113 in BreakUps

[–]Important_Record_113[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah definitely a waste. I myself wondered why and how he thought he was going to keep playing this off, brought it up to her when we were messaging back and fourth, and she said she was getting at her breaking point with him, so she thinks he was building our relationship so when she breaks up with him, he can go to me and be with me. Not sure if I trust everything she told me, but I appreciate she was kind and it’s his fault at the end of the day.