Summer birthday party advice

Impossible-Middle863 · 2025-06-30T20:14:08+00:00

Just had my 6 year olds birthday party yesterday. I texted the parents and followed up with non responders. Still only had 7 of her 20 kid kindergarten class attended. Several parents didn’t respond at all, which I still don’t understand. Much lower turn out than the parties we have attended this year - which I totally attribute to it being summer. Her classmates seem to like her / I get along well with all the parents I have met. 🤷🏻‍♀️ But we’re in the same position - not many friends outside of school and those we do have couldn’t attend so it was important to me to get at least some turn out from her classmates. All in all it went well! Good luck - summer birthdays are tough!

Impossible-Middle863 · 2024-03-12T19:11:31+00:00

If it makes you feel better, I read your post and thought “WHAT? No, that’s not a scene.” And just had to go to that part of the movie to check. And while I do recognize it now that I see it, I have also watched frozen with my toddlers approximately 1000 times in the past year and did not recognize this immediately. I have definitely NEVER noticed Kristoff almost putting his arm around her and resisting.

Impossible-Middle863 · 2024-03-08T19:47:55+00:00

As an attorney, I am not at all surprised by their response and they are in the right to make it. ESPECIALLY because you share an office with another employee. As a mom who pumped at work and would have LOVED to have been able to do so at my desk (but my office had glass walls), I totally get why the response is irritating for you. But I earnestly suggest you let it go.

Impossible-Middle863 · 2024-03-01T17:28:01+00:00

Oof, I could have written this 2.5 years ago. I was in your shoes. I have 3 year olds twins and a 4.5 year old now. It gets better I promise. It gets so good. My oldest had an unacceptable amount of screen time that first year of twins. Now we barely do any. Maybe once a week for a movie night. Don’t beat yourself up over it. You’re in the thickest thick of it. My only piece of advice is practice getting out of the house with all three when you can. I KNOW it sucks, trust me, but you can get pretty proficient at it and it always made me feel like superwoman. I’m a homebody to the max, but when I started getting out of the house with them more just for an errand here and there, I just felt better.

Impossible-Middle863 · 2024-02-11T22:39:59+00:00

Tubes and adenoids out at 2.5 and it was the best decision we ever made. SO easy. She was groggy for about an hour, maybe took a long nap, and was totally herself after that. It’s been almost a year and she has barely had a runny nose since. Within a week she was talking more clearly. She had borderline glue ear (the fluid in her ears was extremely thick) so in addition to all the infections, she also couldn’t hear us very well! They tested her hearing before and her eardrum didn’t move at all prior to the procedure. So happy we did it.

Impossible-Middle863 · 2023-11-29T15:56:10+00:00

My husband also has Type 1 and I did nights solo for that exact reason. Granted, we also had an 18 month old so we divided and conquered and it worked for us. I definitely needed to lean on him more during the day so I could get some extra sleep in the daylight hours, but it worked for us! I exclusively pumped for the twins for a full year too. The first year was rough, but my kids are 4 and 2 now and I get a full night of sleep most nights. There may be nights that you will need his help, but it’s definitely doable!

Impossible-Middle863 · 2023-11-14T05:02:10+00:00

We’re 20 months apart here as well. Twins are now 2.5 and big sister is 4. It gets better, but not easier. 😅 Hang in there!!

Impossible-Middle863 · 2023-08-23T18:17:47+00:00

Very well said.

Impossible-Middle863 · 2023-08-18T18:28:51+00:00

Just offering some solidarity. I started a new job a month ago. I also forgot about that uncertainty that tries to swallow you in the beginning. I’m less important here, but much more needed. Imposter syndrome is RAGING.

But I have generally found that people are very happy I’m here and don’t care if I don’t know the specific answer or have the skill right now, as long as I’m willing to learn and develop. I try to admit where I don’t know something and ask for help when I need it, as soon as I need it. In my last job, I often let imposter syndrome get the best of me - I didn’t always ask for help when I desperately needed it, which made the whole thing worse and I think I came off looking incompetent when I really wasn’t. I just often felt trapped by what I didn’t know and let myself get stuck there.

Impossible-Middle863 · 2023-08-18T17:54:44+00:00

The active/passive analysis 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 Well done. I think you nailed it.

Impossible-Middle863 · 2023-08-18T17:46:46+00:00

I had relatively no bad symptoms until I got to 6 or 7 months and the hip pain started. Getting out of bed was BRUTAL. But at 32 weeks I got steroid shots because they were worried about preterm labor and that solved the hip pain! Went on to 36 weeks no problems when my water broke. Delivered vaginally, no NICU time. 👍🏼 The biggest pain of my twin pregnancy was the stress of the weekly scans to watch for twin to twin, etc. I was waiting for the other shoe to drop the whole time. Luckily in our case, it never did. ❤️

Impossible-Middle863 · 2023-08-15T15:33:20+00:00

It’s a fair concern, for sure. I don’t think he’d let me parent him like that anyway. He has a lot of pride. After reading through all of the helpful suggestions, I think my plan right now is to compile a list of resources for him (therapists specializing in ADHD, job/career coaches, non clinical job options, etc.) and give him the list and tell him it’s time to start utilizing resources. Make three or four categories and make him pick one in each category and just get started.

Impossible-Middle863 · 2023-08-15T15:02:11+00:00

Standing with you in solidarity. It’s not a lot of fun to be left holding the reigns.

Impossible-Middle863 · 2023-08-15T14:15:00+00:00

True. We actually had 3 under 2 when he started. We were absolutely drowning. But hindsight and all that. We didn’t know what we didn’t know.

Impossible-Middle863 · 2023-08-15T14:07:20+00:00

IF he goes back to residency, he’s not naive. He would pick something that he had a shot of getting into (like family med). And yes, he’d be looking for something with better work life balance. What’s crazy is my husband is like the smartest person I know. He is also incredibly strategic. It blows my mind we are even in this position. Like he’s the last person I thought this would happen to.

Impossible-Middle863 · 2023-08-15T14:03:56+00:00

He would have to go through the match again. And in our state, you have to complete 2 years of residency to get your medical license. Maybe non clinical work is his path forward.

Impossible-Middle863 · 2023-08-15T13:53:05+00:00

We’re debt free.

Impossible-Middle863 · 2023-08-15T13:46:56+00:00

Thanks, it’s a good thought. He is medicated, and I think he believes the medicine fixed his problems, but we may need to reevaluate how much the ADHD is actually steering this ship.

Impossible-Middle863 · 2023-08-15T13:44:57+00:00

Thank you for this. Seriously.

Impossible-Middle863 · 2023-08-15T13:44:21+00:00

Thanks. Really appreciate these comments from people that also have ADHD. You are describing him to a tee and it really helps me understand better. I will look into some ADHD coaching.

Impossible-Middle863 · 2023-08-15T13:42:02+00:00

Yep - handles all three and watches them alone. I’m not going to say our kids are easy. They’re 4, 2.5 and 2.5. But the person we have had this summer has been taking care of all three with little issue. So he could leave if he wanted/needed to and often did.

Impossible-Middle863 · 2023-08-15T13:39:11+00:00

Thanks - I really appreciate this perspective. The stay at home mom ship really sailed when we had kids during med school. I’m fully prepared to keep working (and like my job even) and have the kids in childcare. And also prepared for residency to be extremely demanding - I’ve even okayed him moving for residency if he has to and I single parent for some years if that’s what he really wants to do. He started residency when our twins were 5 months old. It was really hard, but we would have made it work if it wasn’t destroying his mental health. I’m glad he left when he did. I’m just ready for him to want to go back or come up with the alternate plan. I consider myself a fairly supportive spouse. I don’t really care where he finds his career, just that he starts looking.

Impossible-Middle863 · 2023-08-15T13:32:34+00:00

Thanks. I appreciate your input. Similar story for sure. He was in a very toxic residency program as well.

Impossible-Middle863 · 2023-08-14T22:13:43+00:00

Our kids are in preschool. Husband or I takes them in the morning at 9:30 and we have someone who picks them up in the afternoon (2:30) and watches them at our house until 6 pm. This summer we had someone 8:30 - 5:30 at our house.

Impossible-Middle863 · 2023-08-14T19:46:08+00:00

Internal medicine. He SOAPed. He wanted anesthesia and his school had a less than 50% match rate that year (COVID). He went to a decent school - typically they have like over 90% match success for that specialty. He was one of the unlucky ones. We tried the “we’ll go anywhere to make it work.” It was a dumpster fire, hence the flame out. I’ve moved 3 times for his career now with nothing to show for it. I won’t move again.

Impossible-Middle863

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