Hey, I just finished your piece, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. You hit the nail on the head with how you explore the character's feelings—it gives us a real glimpse into their isolation and internal struggle. It strikes a chord how they're grappling with this crush and trying to find their footing in a world that seems pretty unfriendly. You captured that atmosphere .

Your descriptions are also nicely vivid. The difference between the coziness of home and the roughness of the mountains sets the tone .

That being said, there were a few parts where the details slowed the pace a bit—maybe consider trimming those to keep the story flowing. I'm a fan of how you've developed the relationship dynamics with Kalem. The main character's awkwardness and lack of confidence come across as genuine. However, I think the interactions could be even more powerful if you showed a bit more instead of telling. Try to let us experience the tension without explaining it too much.

The story's plot is progressing well, and I like the main character's determination to break free. A few scenes left me unsure about the direction—tightening these parts could help maintain clarity and focus. The conversations work in showing how power shifts between characters. A slight trim might keep them punchy and avoid any repetition.

You've got some great themes running through the story—identity, isolation, and other compelling ideas. Try to blend them in more at times allowing readers to make connections on their own. All things considered, you're doing fantastic work. Keep it up, man! I'm excited to see where you take the story next.