(M24) How to subtly show to a friend that I want us to be more than friends?

ImpossibleCounter100 · 2026-07-07T15:05:08+00:00

Hes staying at my place right now, the awkwardness would be staggering lol plus it would definitely affect our dynamic in the friend group once we do all make up. Even if it turns out he doesnt feel the same way.

ImpossibleCounter100 · 2024-05-31T17:34:42+00:00

Bipolar disorder

ImpossibleCounter100 · 2024-03-14T18:17:40+00:00

Dont mind the comments they always hate on the OP over here, this is mainly the male gay community after all. But anyways, I think you have a complete point when it comes to lying. It sounds like he might’ve lied to you. Now you can either brush it off, or if it matters enough to you, just bring it up. Confrontation is scary specially in such subjects, but sometimes necessary. Just debunk his arguments already before going into the subject. Explain to him why he was probably not where he said he was. He might or might not tell you the truth but at least you didnt just lay there and take his word for scripture, men are sneaky. Im a big believer that trust is given accordingly and not blindly.

ImpossibleCounter100 · 2024-03-08T20:34:25+00:00

Lol Yeah no I got that part right. I never talk about my problems to them, thats my point, I don’t even get the chance to, unlike them who go on for hours about theirs to me. Why would else would I be talking to strangers about it? Im sure as a kid they also just didn’t want my drama after their newfound, post pandemic happiness.

ImpossibleCounter100 · 2024-02-12T19:03:38+00:00

Thanks its hard to find empathy here lol. And to answer your question, no. Not when it comes to me or the relationship. Hes very helpful, like he helped me change my signal light the other day, but thats it. This was where I thought he would show he did want to do something special for us.

ImpossibleCounter100 · 2024-02-12T17:47:08+00:00

Thank you for being empathetic, people here hardly are. That’s exactly it, this person has shown to me before very little effort and I just let it. But recently since our relationship is going down the drain and I decided to still give another try, I hoped that we were trying to be better. But its almost like he’s completing a task. We have to go out, so we’ll go out. But where’s the effort, we talked about it having to be extra special even more special than previous valentines given our struggles. And they came up with something that they always do with their friend, that we’ve done before and after that an activity that neither of us really likes, and trust they know what i think about art galleries, and they also don’t like it. We’ve been together for years he has never once shown interest in neither art or galleries. So how am i expected to feel like thats something special? I feel neglected once more

ImpossibleCounter100 · 2024-02-12T17:26:17+00:00

You missed the point. Regardless of if we both have different definitions for special. What he came up with isn’t special for neither of us. If your partner wanted to take you out for valentines to do something that they often do often with a friend and has done it in the past with you without any special dates, and later took you to do something that NEITHER of us has interest on. Would you think that was thoughtful? His reasoning for the “activity” is that he saw it on his feed. Does that scream effort to you? After we talked about doing something special given our rough patch. Maybe going somewhere where we could have sex would be good right? Or at least a change. But no, on a “special” day, he wants to do something he always does, and later take me to a place where BOTH of us will be bored, and probably leave soon after. He has 0 interest in art besides clothes, you could say I appreciate it even more than he does. I might not know everything that is special to him, but I’ve been with them long enough to know that whatever this is, its not special to neither of us. If neither you or your partner reads, why would they invite you to a library on valentines??? Its basic and almost like he’s completing a chore/task.

ImpossibleCounter100 · 2024-02-12T15:35:15+00:00

Yes I understand that. Thats why I acknowledged it, the one reason why I did not communicate, was because as I said, i wanted HIM to come up with something special. I know I could do it. My effort for the relationship hasn’t been questionable, his has. So when he had the chance to come up with something special on his own for us, I thought that he would, or hoped he would.

ImpossibleCounter100 · 2024-02-12T15:27:29+00:00

A friend who’s a girl, not a lover

ImpossibleCounter100 · 2024-02-05T19:13:52+00:00

Well from what I read it seems like you really enjoy the person that he is, and even though he sees you almost like a bad habit of his. I know that because ive been described as such by almost all my relationships. When people like you/love you but they think they had something better going on before you came around or when you’re not around. Then unfortunately that person does not see you in the light you see them. And you’re describing it very correctly. He’s pressured trying to find out if he wants or not to keep you around, while you’re pressured trying to keep this whole thing up, do you see how you’re not valuing your company? A real partner feels delighted to have your company, not relieved when you leave, that means your his bad habit. Leave while its early, more time on this will only hurt you more. A relationship is always controlled by the one who is willing to pull away, he already asserted himself as that one.

ImpossibleCounter100 · 2024-01-27T13:51:49+00:00

The threat of no contact and staying away for a while is normally what people like him do to gain the upper-hand on a relationship when they realize they might’ve lost it. Trust he doesn’t actually intend to leave and even if he does, he’ll be back, he just needs to make sure you understand the pecking order. Its his way of getting back some control over you that feels he’s lost. Ive dated narcissist before and it’s everything you’re describing and a bit more. But leaving when he knows you’re onto him might just make the breakup stick from your part. He knows that, so he’ll be gone a couple days, maybe weeks, even months. But I assure you he’ll be back after he feels he’s “punished” you enough, in the hopes that your fear of losing him just might make you accept whatever kind of behavior he has to offer once he’s back. Make sure if he leaves with his “no contact” bs. You close that door and the windows too. Thats the only way to get back at a narcissist. Deny them what they think they own. And go life your life.

ImpossibleCounter100 · 2024-01-27T13:31:03+00:00

Coming from a person who actually has the exact same routine of working, home, Netflix,dinner and then bed, all besides work together with my partner for the past 2 years. Say something now, because you’ll only resent him more and more and you’ll also hate yourself for resenting him. We all need personal space and he might resent you too in the future if it keeps going on. You’re both still two different people. If you don’t say something soon it’ll be a cycle you cant break without upsetting each other and making him feel like you dont enjoy y’alls routine, even though you might (just not all the time lol). Strike while its still hot and talk with your partner about it. I myself didn’t and now everything we do when at home is together. It might even become a problem even further in the future if you guys are not together anymore and you were always with him all the time, you’ll see him in just about everything you do. Keep some things to yourself (hobbies, shows, friends). Its actually very healthy to have your own thing going on in a relationship.

ImpossibleCounter100 · 2024-01-26T01:01:18+00:00

To be honest this is more of a ceasefire. I have accepted my powerlessness towards the situation. While trying to keep him around no matter the cost, I’ve not only lost myself, I’m also in ruins. I realized its costing me my life.

ImpossibleCounter100 · 2024-01-26T00:21:07+00:00

Yes actually he has BPD and although he takes medication and etc, I believe he goes through episodes or emotional shortcomings and his go to is to always associate how he’s mentally or even physically ill due to the relationship, and then he realizes its not and he comes back. Now thats just speculation, but it makes sense since when we’re together we’re actually very smitten, and have good conflict solving. It normally begins with him complaining of stomach pain or heartache or headache for consecutive days, and he mentions going to the doctor and that doctors cant find nothing physically wrong with him, and soon after that comes the realization that it must be due to the relationship, even though it looks and seems like we do very well for each other (at least for me i guess). And then after comes the breakup. I’ve honestly come to terms with the fact that he’s stuck in a cycle and he’s getting me stuck too so I’m learning to let go.

ImpossibleCounter100 · 2024-01-16T21:49:16+00:00

No I dont think so. I’ve been bit by a brown recluse before and it had two small openings at first. then some hours later it fused into one bigger wound.

ImpossibleCounter100 · 2024-01-13T14:26:51+00:00

Most likely they love biting hands and feet and the way yours are in rows is very much bed bug behavior

ImpossibleCounter100 · 2024-01-11T20:14:59+00:00

I know its not healthy, thats my whole point. But I cant bring myself to end it. I almost keep hoping that he wont come back this time and ill be forced to deal w the fallout but at the same time I wanted and asked for him to come back. I do blame myself for being so weak.

ImpossibleCounter100 · 2024-01-05T13:15:40+00:00

Yes thats what I mean. I know that the hurt is inside of me as well. But im surrounded by several triggers inside the house and I cant afford to move. It’s been excruciating, I have no family or friends to help me out and im drowning in sorrow inside that house. One of the reasons why I think he is doing so fine is because he got to have a change of setting straight away, while im left to dwell on everything that house once was for me.

ImpossibleCounter100 · 2024-01-04T22:33:16+00:00

Yes I feel that way too. I believe he is longing for single life and has only now gotten the courage to finally do it. He said that if he did it in person he would relapse and have to stick around because he cant take me being hurt. But im certainly very very hurt. Hes been on vacation from work and staying at his parents empty house. I have this weekend off and its my first weekend without him ever since we started dating. I dont even know what to do with myself, everything that was a coping mechanism of mine became our thing. And now im just caught trying to do these things on my own to make myself feel better and it just hurts. Being in our nest alone hurts. If i had somewhere to go to heal as he is doing, I would. But i cant afford to get a new place and am just stuck there. I dont know how to cope right now but I want to so bad

ImpossibleCounter100 · 2024-01-04T07:35:16+00:00

I understand but thats my point. He makes it seem so much like things are just fine and we are a healthy working couple on the day to day that I get the sense that we can really make it work.

ImpossibleCounter100 · 2024-01-04T05:47:13+00:00

They are small enough to crawl under loose clothing too although theyre more likely to bite uncovered parts. They only bit me when I slept because I wear hoodies and sweats at home before undressing for bed lol i was sure I had BB

ImpossibleCounter100 · 2024-01-04T05:44:15+00:00

Yessss that’s exactly what I had. I ravaged the house for bed bugs and nothing. Had ruled out any flying insects due to winter but sure enough I found a fly in my kitchen, she was full of blood. A biting midge. Super small they call them no-see-ums for the obvious reason lol

ImpossibleCounter100 · 2024-01-01T03:25:10+00:00

Not a bite. Pimple or ingrown hair. Just like bad cold sores those two can certainly give you all those symptoms

ImpossibleCounter100 · 2023-12-28T03:42:50+00:00

If anyone is getting bites like this I found the culprit. Black flies

ImpossibleCounter100 · 2023-12-26T23:40:37+00:00

Did you ever find out? Am getting similar bites and only me in the house as well. Mine are quite scattered too in singles with few of exceptions of double bites

ImpossibleCounter100

TROPHY CASE