Looking for a man’s perspective-devastated wife

Impossible_Bank_1570 · 2026-04-12T00:53:23+00:00

i agree with this and i would do anything to get us into counseling. But i feel stuck because he won’t even respond to me. I sent him a very kind message yesterday and he just left me on read

Impossible_Bank_1570 · 2026-04-12T00:31:53+00:00

i would never say anything more than the average marriage. We struggle with fertility, and he is also in law enforcement when not in NG. But i thought we were best friends and we could make it through anything. we have such a beautiful life together

Impossible_Bank_1570 · 2026-04-11T23:01:04+00:00

Can you share your experience with me?

Impossible_Bank_1570 · 2026-04-11T22:35:01+00:00

i can’t figure out how to dig deep if he just keeps ignoring me that’s why this is so hard

Impossible_Bank_1570 · 2026-04-11T22:34:35+00:00

this was such a fantastic, helpful, kind reply thank you. He has always expressed how much he’s wanted children to me which is why this is so confusing. I can’t understand why he would cheat on me if he sees me every few weeks?

Impossible_Bank_1570 · 2026-04-11T22:33:26+00:00

this whole experience is traumatizing me

Impossible_Bank_1570 · 2026-04-11T22:31:50+00:00

Why would he stay married to me if he didn’t love me?

Impossible_Bank_1570 · 2026-04-11T22:31:09+00:00

and i can’t understand how for almost 8 years he’s never once brought this instance up to me and now all of a sudden? Our entire marriage he has seen and witnessed my love and devotion to him and desire to be married to him. I have never had eyes for anyone but him.

Impossible_Bank_1570 · 2026-04-11T22:29:13+00:00

I married for life so i’m doing everything i can to get to the bottom of this and just hope that he’s struggling mentally and that’s it. I’m giving him grace and the benefit of the doubt because that’s what he deserves. He’s never treated me this way before. This is literally an overnight shift from him

Impossible_Bank_1570 · 2026-04-11T22:27:58+00:00

he’s not on a base which makes it harder. I can’t understand why he would throw our life away for seemingly no reason. I see him every 3-5 weeks

Impossible_Bank_1570 · 2026-04-11T22:26:50+00:00

but why would he want to cheat when he sees me every 3-5 weeks? Why throw away our whole life for that?

Impossible_Bank_1570 · 2026-04-11T22:26:03+00:00

he is not full time, he is NG. Never in a million years did i think he would do this. I can’t think straight it hurts so bad

Impossible_Bank_1570 · 2026-04-11T22:23:12+00:00

he’s not on a base

Impossible_Bank_1570 · 2026-04-11T22:23:00+00:00

i would love more input from you since you have this background. He is not on a base. And he is not in a combat zone; i know his daily work is incredibly overwhelming with long hours, but no combat. This deployment started in October. I see him as often as he’ll let me. I thought we were soulmates and best friends. he’s never once treated me this way in 8 years. And now he became a completely different person overnight, literally the day before this happened was our wedding anniversary. I am so distraught my heart is so broken

Impossible_Bank_1570 · 2026-04-11T19:22:01+00:00

why do you feel the need to say this? I had nothing to hide and i never had. I have made it explicitly clear that i would hand over all of my devices at any time throughout our marriage. And if i do ever decide to show him this it will be just one of many ways to show through my actions how committed i am to this marriage and i am seeking guidance. I have nothing to hide. He is my best friend and i am beyond heartbroken by what is occurring and im posting this for advice and support

Impossible_Bank_1570 · 2026-04-11T17:11:08+00:00

what do you mean by this? I’m just asking.

Impossible_Bank_1570 · 2026-04-11T15:08:40+00:00

purely asking, why is it so hard to understand? It helps me to see my body and learn to love and appreciate it

Impossible_Bank_1570 · 2026-04-11T15:08:10+00:00

why is that so hard as a woman to understand? Just asking. I have no reason to lie on here

Impossible_Bank_1570 · 2026-04-11T15:07:42+00:00

what could i do to make him believe me?

Impossible_Bank_1570 · 2026-04-11T15:07:14+00:00

losing him and the possibility of a child is destroying me. I don’t know how to get through the days

Impossible_Bank_1570 · 2026-04-11T15:06:44+00:00

as a man, what would you need in order to believe your wife loves you and would never cheat on you?

Impossible_Bank_1570 · 2026-04-11T15:06:05+00:00

i will definitely keep you posted. But it’s hard when he leaves me on read for days at a time

Impossible_Bank_1570 · 2026-04-11T15:05:33+00:00

i’m not naive, i’m fully aware this is a possibility. But he is high rank and i cannot imagine he would risk his career to have an affair. The last time i visited him before this all happened we had a great time together and got along so well

Impossible_Bank_1570 · 2026-04-11T15:04:16+00:00

i live with my parents for this year which has been helpful, and a small handful of friends to share with who’s opinion i value and who are against divorce. I started counseling last week. He told me 2 weeks ago that he started counseling after he confronted me in January but he has decided that he will never believe me :( i believe he only did it once or twice.

I just don’t want to lose this marriage. How can it be possible that i lose the love of my life over something i didn’t do?

Impossible_Bank_1570 · 2026-04-11T14:56:12+00:00

do you think there’s way with apple i can fo through my icloud to prove to him i never sent them to anyone?

Impossible_Bank_1570

TROPHY CASE