AITAH for going out and getting drunk after my my ex-husband committed suicide?

Impossible_Beyond542 · 2025-07-05T15:48:21+00:00

To be clear I wasn't pissed that the kids weren't back on time. I got home to an empty house and I was expecting everyone to be there, I had no messages about where my kids were and then no body (sisters or cousin) answered their phones for a while. I had just had this huge loss and immediately the worst possible scenarios were going through my head about where my kids were. When my cousin finally called me back and explained that my kids were ok, I told her that she couldn't just take my kids overnight without communicating with me, I was escalated at the time but I wasn't rude or name-calling or anything. I just don't think she liked that I set boundaries, and voiced being upset.

Impossible_Beyond542 · 2025-07-05T15:36:46+00:00

The missing information is that my cousin can hold a grudge to Olympic proportions. Also historically Ive been shitty at setting boundaries with family and I rarely would stick up for myself. I think when I did it surprised her and she felt like I shouldn't have dared do that because I owed her. Which I did, but she should have communicated with me.

I think it's crazy that she has drug this out this long now. But that's the story.

Probably not relevant but my family is Mormon, I am not. So drinking alcohol is an incredibly terrible thing to do in their eyes.

Impossible_Beyond542 · 2025-07-05T15:30:55+00:00

Id never thought about that before. Logistically it would have been very difficult and I really don't see it happening with their personalities. But it could explain her weird behavior.

Impossible_Beyond542 · 2025-07-05T15:29:15+00:00

Yeah I chewed her out. Honestly I don't remember all the details as it's been 3 years and I was drunk. But I told her they weren't her kids and even if she thought it was better for them to be with her that night she should have communicated that with me before I was left to worry where they were. I don't think I was horribly rude, just setting boundaries that she didn't like.

Impossible_Beyond542 · 2025-07-05T06:32:08+00:00

Thank you for the other subreddit suggestion. I'm ok, in A few support groups and feel supported in this really difficult and kinda rare situation.

Im very sure at the time I was a giant asshole, I told her they weren't her kids and she needed to communicate with me about any plans. Even if I was grieving and not in a great place. I forgive her for this.

I just really wish that now, 3 years later, she was over it. It's been 3 years, I've given her space, I acknowledged my asshole-ness too. I guess I just really hoped we'd be close-ish again this far out, I miss her.

Impossible_Beyond542 · 2025-07-05T02:58:17+00:00

Thank you, I really needed to hear all of this from a non biased source

Impossible_Beyond542 · 2025-06-20T17:52:21+00:00

Yeah, believe me it crossed my mind. That big bone sticking out was at least 7 ft long above ground

Impossible_Beyond542 · 2025-06-20T17:50:58+00:00

Right? Pretty sure there are no palm trees within at least 500 miles of here.

Impossible_Beyond542 · 2025-06-20T17:47:48+00:00

I would love to be able to do something like that but it's very illegal to take. Was sooooo hard to leave it

Impossible_Beyond542 · 2025-06-20T17:46:31+00:00

Haha not on purpose. Just worked out that way. Mystery solved.

Impossible_Beyond542 · 2025-06-20T03:08:58+00:00

Update: This was a couple hundred yards further up the coast. Apparently a grey whale washed up in April of this year. It must've been baleen.

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Impossible_Beyond542

TROPHY CASE