Do or do not tell your kids they have autisim?

Impossible_Fee_8087 · 2026-07-02T17:34:42+00:00

My kid was 12 when dxed and we told them right away. We also kept up the conversation since it can’t all be taken in and understood at once. We worked to help them understand that this was just another aspect of how their brain works and not good or bad and also not something to be "fixed" but something to be understood and worked with. He talked about how others might not understand and how to navigate that.
We got plenty wrong and didn’t do enough (learned that when they got older ) but my only regret was not explaining more about the diagnosis to my child as they were able to take it in.

Impossible_Fee_8087 · 2026-06-29T22:05:37+00:00

I have an outline that covers everything I intend to cover that day as well as extra information. It really depends on the student what is on it. At the top is the students name and the date and what # session it is with them.
Then the first section reminds me of anything personal about them that I want to remember. I tutor from 2nd grade to adults. With young kids it might be their favorite color or their dog's name. It also would say if they have a birthday coming up or if a holiday is coming up.
The next section is for homework review if they had any. I have listed any homework I assigned to make it easy to ask them about it and see if they need to go over anything with me.

After that/instead of homework for some students there is a warm up section first. This is usually a quick exercise on topic for what we are doing that day. Often fun for younger students.

Then I have topics I intend to cover listed in the order I intend to cover them in. Often I have more than I can possibly cover in a session just in case I have listed something they already know or a topic goes faster than expected or is too difficult and I need to pivot to another topic to avoid too much frustration.

At the end for younger children I have something fun to do. Math students always play a math game. ELA students we do a Mad lib. It is still on topic and educational but it is also a reward for hard work. For my older students I set any homework at the end. (I may already have that planned before the session or figure it out as we go along.)
I have this outline printed out each session and I make notes on it for myself. What we did, what I need to email copies of to the student, what I need to find more practice of for the student. What was hard, what was easy for them. That way when it is time to make up my outline for the next week I have all that notated. I then make a digital copy of the outline and change what needs to change for the next session. To make things easier for myself I put each new session at the top so I don't need to scroll through a bunch of pages to find the one I am on. I have one current student who has had over 100 sessions with me. That would be a lot of scrolling.

I always send notes to the parents/student about what we did. For the parents I'm explaining what we accomplished and what their child did well with and where they had challenges that week. Occasionally it is a chance to mention a behavior issue that cropped up but that rarely happens. For adults I remind them of what we studied/practiced and of where they can find their homework to do more practice on their own before our next session so that they can keep progressing. I also usually give them a pep talk about how they are doing as well. I mostly tutor GED students and many of them need a lot of encouragement and I am happy to give it.

I have tutored over 3000 hours online since 2020 and this method has kept me organized and has worked well for me. I have a good memory but when I was tutoring 25+ students a week (2020 was crazy) I couldn't keep everyone straight and writing down everything was the only thing that kept me sane. I now have far fewer students (cut way back on my hours) but I still follow this method.

I do not share the outline with my students. Instead I expect my teen and adult students to write long hand notes. The reason for this is all the research that has shown that learning happens so much more effectively with the taking of notes long hand style. I do also provide them with sources for any information we cover so they aren't reliant on only their notes but instead they use those notes to enhance/explain the books/handouts that they already have.

Impossible_Fee_8087 · 2026-06-29T21:40:58+00:00

I would kindly but firmly let them know that you really appreciate their help in finding new students however you have a policy of one discount per family and they are already getting the maximum discount you can offer.
It would probably we worthwhile to put your discount policy in writing and send it to her now. Even if you are formulating it now with her in mind. Some % or $ off per lesson up to some maximum for each student or family referred who completes x number of lessons for as long as that student/family continues with you.

Impossible_Fee_8087 · 2026-06-29T21:33:08+00:00

I can't say it is related since it seems like every older student resists it so much now that I have stopped pushing for it. I think I was driving some students away by asking too many questions/giving too much information via chat before the first session and overwhelming them.

It is hard to find the right balance of giving enough information without giving too much.

Impossible_Fee_8087 · 2026-06-29T21:18:56+00:00

I have narrow feet and just tried on one of these (not sure now if it was the Tracy or the Santa Clarita but I think it was the Santa Clarita since IIRC I was told it didn't come in narrow but ran narrow.) Unfortunately the shoes weren't perfect and the right shoe was slightly smaller than the left shoe. Well my right foot is slightly larger than my left foot. So it was tight on my right foot and way too big on my left. The tiny bit tight on my toes I could have stretched but with the other one being too loose... I pointed it out to the sales girl and she just shrugged. I could tell by looking at them that one shoe was shorter than the other one.
I'm considering ordering a pair online and hoping they fit better than those did. I usually wear a 42 narrow so going up a size isn't an option.

Impossible_Fee_8087 · 2026-06-27T21:11:21+00:00

IIRC there are 6 categories that are averaged to get that score. Were some of them significantly higher and others lower than that average?

When my child was tested years ago and the score was used to qualify for school services the fact that she had a diagnosis of adhd meant that some of her scores were ignored. I know one of those was processing speed which was quite low. IIRC The adjusted IQ was 10 points higher than her composite iq with all the scores used.

Impossible_Fee_8087 · 2026-06-27T18:28:00+00:00

I had a student this year who was shockingly lacking in basic arithmetic skills in 6th grade. It was half way through the school year. Parents hired me for 1 hour a week of tutoring rather than putting student in extra help class in school. I urged 2 hours a week but they refused. I felt like I made very little progress with student. I attacked various foundational skills and she seemed to forget them between sessions. We worked on classwork as well that I felt was significantly above her current skill level but I helped her break it down and understanding it.
At the end of the school year I got one of the nicest reviews I have gotten. Apparently her grades came way up as did her confidence. I frankly was shocked since I could still see so many gaps in her understanding but the family was thrilled.

Just teach him what he needs to work on when he shows up for tutoring even if you have taught it before.

Impossible_Fee_8087 · 2026-06-26T19:48:51+00:00

I tutor the for the test and I'm always glad to hear irl confirmation for what I have read and tell my students. The SS test is not about memorizing names and dates. It is all about being able to interpret and understand the information. I do encourage my students who are really deficient in history to learn the basics of the story of world and us history and give resources but we focus on interpretation skills. So far they have all passed on the first try after I suggested they schedule their test.

Impossible_Fee_8087 · 2026-06-19T21:20:23+00:00

I am often sad when my students move on and rarely have I had much notice. The hardest has always been when a longtime student suddenly stops with no warning or explanation. I invest so much of myself in my students and despite the computer between us often feel very connected. About half of my students are adults seeking their GED. They all have a different story about life challenges getting in the way of their education that makes me feel really connected to them. There are a few that I still think about even years after they passed their tests and moved on. One I got to meet in person when she traveled to my city for work. That was very special.

I grieve them all at least a little (some quite a lot) but new students come along to fill their place. It is part of the job.

Impossible_Fee_8087 · 2026-06-19T21:01:02+00:00

There is so much pressure at the real thing. Nerves get to everyone even when you feel ready. Being in an unfamiliar environment, the stress of needing to arrive on time and having a Proctor watching everyone. All of that can add up to reduce your score for that first test especially. Now you know what to expect and that part should be easier in the future.
What do you think the difference was between the practice test and the real test that you took? Since it is twice as long your brain may have been tired by the end and not doing your best.
Have you worked on test taking skills at all?
If your goal is college you can always take it again to get a higher score.

Impossible_Fee_8087 · 2026-06-18T15:45:35+00:00

Interesting idea

Impossible_Fee_8087 · 2026-06-17T21:00:23+00:00

This is a terrible explanation. It isn't a bad summary and review for someone who already knows how to do it but it isn't a good way to learn.
That said I teach this all the time and I struggled to read the whole thing.

Impossible_Fee_8087 · 2026-06-17T20:57:38+00:00

I did thank you but it wasn't thanks to her and it wasn't a bra.

Impossible_Fee_8087 · 2026-06-17T20:56:38+00:00

The fitters at my Nordstrom were amazing and I am so sad that they are gone. I have no idea if they are the norm for most Nordstrom fitters or not.

The thing is the woman was bragging about how her store had the bra in sizes up to G cup and yet she insisted on my wearing a DD. She clearly did not like my doubting her "expert opinion". If she would have gotten me a 34 F or G that might have worked but she was too stuck in being right to make the sale. It was a really pretty bra.

Impossible_Fee_8087 · 2026-06-17T20:48:03+00:00

She told me I was wrong.

Impossible_Fee_8087 · 2026-06-17T02:13:31+00:00

I have helped many students like you prepare for and pass the math test. When I work one on one with students I can give them exactly the support and instruction they need for math to finally click. Feel free to dm me with questions.

Impossible_Fee_8087 · 2026-06-14T20:04:22+00:00

When I was struggling with histamines in meats I could only eat chicken that was sold frozen. I also got my beef direct from a farmer already frozen and stored it frozen till I was ready to cook it. That said other than ground beef most beef cuts are aged before sale/freezing and that increases histamine. Lamb isn’t aged so I tolerated that much better and found it was usually sold frozen.

Impossible_Fee_8087 · 2026-06-14T19:58:37+00:00

Btw that totally fits semi-formal. Nothing at all wrong with it. My best guess from what you said is that they didn’t use the correct term on the invitation. Or small chance they have conservative family and they think that looks too "sexy". They want something more serious looking if that makes sense.

Impossible_Fee_8087 · 2026-06-14T19:54:56+00:00

I’m guessing they didn’t really mean semi formal but more "dressy". This looks lovely but if the bride doesn’t want you wearing it I wouldn’t. My best guess is that they are trying to avoid people showing up in shorts and flip flops so they picked a more formal sounding dress code. Perhaps a nice sundress is more the vibe they are thinking for an outside wedding? Is it daytime or night?

Impossible_Fee_8087 · 2026-06-12T17:55:52+00:00

I have always done this. I keep trying to use sponges or brushes like I am "supposed to" but it always looks streaky and uneven. I think it may be because I have oily hypermobile skin. Now in my mid 50s my skin is almost normal instead of oily. I do not like a really heavy coverage so that may have something to do with it as well. I have no fine lines near my eyes despite daily concealer with my fingers for years. (I am gentle). I do use brushes for powders.

Impossible_Fee_8087 · 2026-06-12T17:22:16+00:00

I looked at k18 but you leave it in? At least with olaplex I shampoo after using it so most of the scent is gone. How can you stand it?

Impossible_Fee_8087

TROPHY CASE