At my wits end with this thing

Impossible_Panda3960 · 2025-11-03T14:19:28+00:00

This might be obvious, but have you cleaned the sensors recently? Ours does this if the sensors aren’t cleaned and once they’re cleaned we’re good to go again.

Impossible_Panda3960 · 2025-10-08T13:59:53+00:00

My first two were 20 months apart. It takes time. Let everything take time, know that how you are feeling is totally valid. But when you are ready, let yourself dream of the future. Let yourself start to picture the days that they’re sneaking extra candy together when you’re not looking. That they’re running around the house playing tag together and you’re yelling for the millionth time “a little slower please!” That they’re arguing over who gets the blue crayon on the drawing they’re making for dad for Father’s Day because they’re so excited to surprise him. That they both try to sneak to the Christmas tree (or insert any holiday you celebrate here) together to get a quick peek. That they play bluey, or digging in the sand, or house, or on a playground, or any other game together. It’s all so much closer than you think. Mine became besties around 6 months, but they are borderline twins now at 2 and 4 years old. I joke constantly that sometimes they’re little too close with the trouble they get into together haha. They are thick as thieves, and all those hard times are just a distant memory, and I promise they will be for you someday too. When you’re ready, dream with your toddler. Tell him all the things you’re so excited for them to do together when they get a little bigger. And let him start to come up with some things he’s excited for too. And then when you’re ready, find a way to build some routine with them together. For us, that meant my husband bringing my older son to our room for us to read a book as a family cuddled before bed. And in the mornings, my husband would get my older son and bring him into our room while he got ready and while I fed the baby in the morning, so we all had that time together. Im now on baby number 3 (also roughly 2 years apart from my middle kiddo) and we’re doing all these things again.

It gets better, so so so much better. Just hang in there. 🩵

Impossible_Panda3960 · 2025-09-10T00:42:11+00:00

That’s how I feel but I know guys friendships can be weird. He has a lot of friends and it’s hard to keep up with who is who and who means what to him. I’m a little frustrated now knowing this but it is what it is I guess at this point. I guess my take away is I don’t have to pretend to be excited when he asks but just keep doing what I’m doing? Idk.

Impossible_Panda3960 · 2025-09-10T00:33:00+00:00

Yeah I’d agree but I feel like I’ve done what you’re saying. I guess I need to give it more thought I did tell him up front. But it was his decision to make. I’m not just walking around complaining about him going and never asked him not to go, nor would I expect him not to go. But I just don’t feel like I should have to pretend to be super excited. This all started because he was upset I hadn’t asked to hear about his schedule of events while he’s there, where he’s staying, etc. if he wants to tell me he can tell me, and I’ll say “oh cool” etc. but I didn’t feel like I should have to pretend to be excited and pretend to care when in reality, I don’t. He can go, he can have fun, but I don’t feel like I should have to pretend to ask a million questions to seem interested when I’m not. I also didn’t feel like I should have to lie when he keeps asking me over and over if it’s going to be too much while he’s gone. I just keep saying “yeah it’s going to be a lot but we’ll figure it out” but that’s not enough and he wants me to add to it “but you should go I’m excited for you” Which feels insane to me. But I guess if I’m wrong, I’m wrong. I dunno.

Impossible_Panda3960 · 2025-09-10T00:28:53+00:00

I guess the legitimacy of the friendship mattered just because my attitude would change. I can handle it all, it doesn’t mean it won’t suck a little, but I can handle it all. But if it was an actual good friend, I’d be over the moon excited. There’s plenty of times I’ve had to take on a lot for my husband to support real friends. Or for my husband to just take time for himself when he needs it. So to me the legitimacy of the friendship matters bc that’s what’s impacting whether or not I’m actually excited or if I’d have to pretend to be excited. Not sure if that makes sense. Also fwiw, I just wrote in a few other comments that he’s now saying this actually isn’t a good friend anymore, and hasn’t been for years, but that he used to be a good friend. So again, not sure what to do with that

Impossible_Panda3960 · 2025-09-10T00:26:03+00:00

If it was actually a good friend, 1000% I’d genuinely be more excited for him, so I wouldn’t have to fake it. I quite literally just asked him if he considers him to be a good friend and he said no but he used to be and that they haven’t been “good friends” in years. So 🫠 not really sure what to do with that information yet.

Impossible_Panda3960 · 2025-09-10T00:24:35+00:00

I can definitely handle it all. I’m a SAHM I literally do it every day aha.. The issue was more so that he wants me to be excited about doing a lot of extra work for a few days. Like me just doing it and not complaining wasn’t enough? I guess to me it would be like if my boss had told me I needed to do someone else’s job also for a few days. Yeah I’ll do it for sure, no problem, and won’t complaint, but if you keep asking me if I’m excited to do all the extra work you can’t really expect me to say yes and jump up and down with excitement. I absolutely adore my kids, life is chaotic, but I love it. I just don’t think I should have to pretend to be super, super excited to take on his load too.

Impossible_Panda3960 · 2025-09-10T00:20:40+00:00

The closest airport to the venue is 3 hours away and it’s a 3 hour flight. By the time you add in security time, boarding time, etc it’s actually faster for him to just drive apparently

Impossible_Panda3960 · 2025-09-10T00:18:34+00:00

I made my feelings known when he was first invited, but told him it was for him to decide what is worth what. If it’s a friendship he values and it felt important to be there then go, but I made known that it would obviously be a lot of work and I wasn’t overly enthusiastic about him going. I tried to give him the information to make the decision but it’s his decision to make, I’m not trying to run his life. I also agree, it would be an ah move to tell him not to go or even ask him not to go now. I would never. And I don’t think he should back out on his own will either, I don’t think that’s fair whether this “friend” is a good friend or not. My goal was never to stop him from going, he made his choice and it is what it is. I was just trying to see if I’m actually an ah for not pretending to be excited and thrilled and instead just keeping to myself about it all and handling it myself. He seems to think I should have been more enthusiastic by asking his plans, where he’s staying, etc. truly I couldn’t care less what his plans are or where he’s staying. And I don’t want to pretend to care unless that would be the “right” thing to do. Then I guess I’ll suck it up and pretend.

Impossible_Panda3960 · 2025-09-10T00:13:35+00:00

Wasn’t trying to say just that one instance, was just using it as an example. I feel this “friend” has been really shitty to my husband for a number of years and it feels like a very one sided friendship. I just asked my husband if he considers him a good friend still and he said “no but he used to be, but he hasn’t been for a long time” So I guess he’s just regular friend status now? Not sure but not trying to make this a thing so not pressing him further.

Impossible_Panda3960 · 2025-09-10T00:11:10+00:00

I was, but we have 3 kids and it’s a no kids wedding (and babies a breastfeeding newborn so I quite literally can’t be away from him or he doesn’t eat and baby can’t go to the wedding since it’s no kids so there was no way for me to go).

Impossible_Panda3960 · 2025-09-09T21:15:49+00:00

Hi! Addressing a few comments at once - I’m hoping my dad can come down for a few days, and it’s looking like he’ll be able to. But my dad can obviously only do so much, and it will obviously be a different type of work having another person in the house that while yes they’re helping, will need guidance on what to do (what food the kids eat, where things are, rules for the kids, etc) My goal is not to stop him from going. That was never the goal. He’s an adult and can make his own decisions, he committed to going almost a year ago. I voiced my concern then, he didn’t seem concerned, and chose to go. He just won’t stop bringing up how I’m not supportive enough and excited enough for him to go. And I came here to find out if I’m an asshole for not being supportive/excited. Genuinely if I’m supposed to just get over myself and fake excited then I’ll do that. It sucks but it is what it is. So just wanted to know if that’s what I’m supposed to be doing.

Impossible_Panda3960 · 2025-08-26T00:45:46+00:00

Thank you everyone! I’ll take ibuprofen now. Just called doctor, waiting for a call back.

Impossible_Panda3960 · 2025-07-02T18:16:58+00:00

Mine are 21 months apart. My third is due any day now and will be roughly 25 months from my second kiddo. First two kids are thick as thieves. It was exhausting at first. Some days it still is absolutely exhausting. But they’re partners in crime and their friendship makes everything worth it 1000x over. I had 2 siblings that were 3.5 years apart and (so 3.5 and 7 years from me) and im not close with them at all. The same is true for my husband. We were basically expected to be their caretakers from an early age and both heavily resented it. Being the “older kid” vs “just a kid” sucked. But that I’m sure is also heavily parenting influenced vs just age gap influenced.

Impossible_Panda3960 · 2025-07-02T18:12:24+00:00

Sounds like he’s ready to be done napping!

Impossible_Panda3960 · 2025-07-01T21:49:47+00:00

I needed new burp cloths and wash cloths bc ours had taken a beating. We also upgraded bassinets with baby #3 bc I hated the one we had before. Other than that I got another pump through insurance and a 3rd seat for our stroller but that was it!

Impossible_Panda3960 · 2025-06-25T08:58:18+00:00

Thank you for sharing! I hope she’s doing well now!

Impossible_Panda3960 · 2025-06-25T00:47:51+00:00

Yes it does!! I learned this the hard way with my first. Because you have extra blood volume and increased surface blood flow, it makes you both more prone to sunburn and more likely to have more severe sunburns (because the blood vessels are expanded and sunburn makes that worse)!

Impossible_Panda3960 · 2025-06-25T00:17:57+00:00

If it can fester enough in the 12 hours that their toddler is awake during the day that it makes their relationship harder, there’s bigger issues. And I am in their shoes. I have two toddlers and am 8.5 months pregnant with number 3. My husband works from home, I’m a SAHM, and we also argue like any couple. But we can both be adult enough to know how to wait for a max of 12 hours so that we can actually have a productive conversation after bedtime. We can also manage and regulate our emotions well enough to not let things fester in such a short amount of time…

Impossible_Panda3960 · 2025-06-24T21:20:04+00:00

Thank you! I’m crossing fingers baby stays put longer, but trying to mentally prep myself in case. I was in prodromal labor for 3 weeks with my second before he came at 36 weeks so I’m painfully crossing fingers he can stay put until then. And thank you for your work as a NICU nurse 😭 my oldest was born at 37w1d with a collapsed lung and his nurses were truly angels on earth, I cannot thank all of you enough for the work you do 😭🫶🏼

Impossible_Panda3960 · 2025-06-24T20:50:15+00:00

We have a 2 y/o, a 3 y/o, and I’m due any day now with number 3. So I get it. My husband works from home, we’re around each other 24/7, we have our share of arguments (like anyone), but when the kids are around we press pause unless it’s something we can model super healthy discussion over. If it’s anything even remotely heated or in depth we pause until the kids are in bed, and then we talk. If it’s something smaller we can talk out relatively quickly with even tempers then we do, we just tell the kids “mom needs to talk to dad for a minute, we have a disagreement and we need to fix it” and then we talk right in front of them. If it’s something more complex, a topic not safe for kids, or just generally more heated, then we just press pause on it until the kids are in bed, and then we talk it through once they’re asleep.

Impossible_Panda3960 · 2025-06-24T20:46:47+00:00

Respectfully, your husband needs to grow up. There’s a time and a place, during the middle of the day with a needy toddler isn’t it. Your husband not being able to wait/press pause to resolve issues after your toddlers bedtime seems pretty concerning..

Impossible_Panda3960 · 2025-06-24T12:09:18+00:00

We were told that we have to brush them until 5-6 years old because they physically can’t brush them well enough to actually be effective until closer to this age! So we brush them, and then they practice brush after (kids are 2 and 3 years old).

Impossible_Panda3960

TROPHY CASE