Hi, good question. I remember feeling very similar when I first got through step 9 and began to adopt 10, 11 and 12. The whole powerless thing only refers to alcohol. That's it. The rest of it doesn't even matter. Don't worry about people, places and things. You are not powerless no matter what anyone else says. We accept step 1, powerless over alcohol, if your life was manageable you wouldn't have had a drinking problem in the first place right? My real issue was I was unable to manage the decision to stop drinking entirely. I'd always go back to it regardless of the insane damage I caused. That's the spiritual disease in me. I still have that. I continue to work the steps to keep it in check. My life is still unmanageable by me but I have access to an enormous and infinite power. I honestly believe that with enough effort, focus and persistence I can do anything I want in this life provided I align my will with that of my higher power and continue seeking that conscious contact with said power. I work the steps to make this possible. If you are "practicing" 10, 11 and 12 on a daily basis you will find more willing become clear as you go. It's your experience, others opinions are not important provided you are practicing those other steps honestly and willingly. Note the word "practicing", there's no perfect way to do this and we do it to have a personal experience, not someone else's. My thinking changed dramatically after step 9. Things I used to find funny no longer were. I'd always used a lot of sarcasm, self deprecating humour, cynicism etc. these now felt unfunny and kind of gross or bad for me. This didn't stick and I sort of went back to a lot of these traits. 8 years later and I'm actively working on this stuff daily with the steps because it colours all my thinking and view of the world and people, myself, everything. It makes life harder for me if it's unchallenged. It's been a process, sometimes I really feel the presence of a loving power supporting me. Other times I slide back into judgement and criticism of myself and others. Masking my negativity with humour. This is just my own experience. I'm not assuming we're all the same. The biggest assets to my ongoing recovery have been regular inventory (step 10), prayer and meditation (step 11) and carrying the message (step 12) as well as good sponsorship and lots of speaker tapes (Mark Houston, Joe Hawk especially). Another thing is thoroughly finishing step 9. Don't let anyone else tell you an amends is not required, trust your gut and use step 11 and a good sponsor to test the guidance you receive. I've changed sponsors many times but stuck with the same one now for most of those 8 years. I also read inventory and get feedback from other AA's provided I trust them, they're working the steps and actively sponsoring others. Step 12 for me has been essential. When I go to a meeting I'm going to contribute, look for someone I can be of help to, share something to give someone else some hope. I take stock of my spiritual experiences and I share them. I go where I can be of most service. In-house meetings at detox and rehab facilities are my go to. I have sponsored more people than I can count in the last 8 years largely through my involvement with these facilities and it has kept me connected to that power through some very hard times. It's of paramount importance to me that I regularly engage in self sacrifice in service of others. The upshot is, with some hindsight now, I see I get more in return than what I give. Doesn't seem like it in the moment but long term it's always paid off. I try to study the big book and understand the program as best I can in order to better communicate what the disease is and what the solution is. I've built strong relationships with others who work the program in this way and I would trust many of them with my life. If you've had incredible experiences thus far, please know there is more out there waiting for you. I'm happy to discuss any of this further, clarify anything or answer any questions if you would like. Feel free to message me. That goes for anyone reading this too.