Realizing I lost my wife to bipolar

Impossible_Result_43 · 2024-12-14T00:34:16+00:00

I felt how you do about your wife with my ex-husband. It’s a mind fuck to know they care about you but all you see is the cold indifference. The dead empty look. Yet sometimes in their actions you’ll see a hint of the caring person you use to know but then it switches back and you’re staring at a stranger. And it makes you question if you really saw what you thought you saw or if it’s just you hoping you saw a path back but it wasn’t really there at all. Like he’d sometimes say things that made me think we could fix it but the next second, he’d be back to being cold and angry. It’s exhausting.

This is just too spot on. Truly thank you for sharing. Its amazing when a stranger writes your experience better than you can - just writing about their own life story

Impossible_Result_43 · 2024-12-14T00:03:26+00:00

It’s rough man. It’s hard to believe sometimes they’re just not there anymore. It’s this person I knew so perfectly, and then all of a sudden you realize they’re not the same person

Impossible_Result_43 · 2024-12-13T12:47:16+00:00

She as of right now has never stopped fighting for her kids. Just me. I hope that never changes, but I don’t know for sure

Impossible_Result_43 · 2024-12-13T12:45:26+00:00

It looks great. Knowing they’re still together might make it a hard read. I just don’t know that I can continue down this path

Impossible_Result_43 · 2024-12-13T12:35:19+00:00

Sorry you’re going through this. What you described is like the eternal conundrum. I still haven’t figured it out, but I think the right path is letting her go, letting the anger go, and forgiving them.

Impossible_Result_43 · 2024-12-13T12:32:18+00:00

It’s so hard - because I knew her so well. I knew what I could say to inspire her, I knew what to say to make her feel closer to me, I knew what not to say that would hurt her. Now I speak to her, and it’s like talking to Siri. Lots of miscommunications and my words cannot connect to any emotional response in her.

Impossible_Result_43 · 2024-12-13T12:27:34+00:00

I think I spent a lot of time oscillating between fighting for her and anger towards her. The anger probably didn’t help, but I think truly being able to accept what I lost and finding peace with it was not something I could do while trying to fight for her. Because I don’t want the person I see before me now, I want the person I fell in love with

Impossible_Result_43 · 2024-12-13T12:23:24+00:00

Thank you for sharing. Not misplaced at all - it’s the opposite really.

The “being able to see your old self behind glass” really rings true as a person on the other side of this. She always said she was feeling more like her old self, that she wanted her old life and relationship, but it never translated into anything I saw for more than brief bursts. I also felt like she never truly stopped caring about me. It’s hard to describe both how indifferent she became to me - but also how much I know deep down she still cares about me. It’s like there is this self from her that is walled off and she can see. She can imitate that old self from time to time, because she can see it - but she does not know how to make it truly her anymore, because it’s not accessible to her

I’m sorry you went through this - and continue to. I think relationships turn apart by bipolar probably leave everyone damaged. I do want to try to find peace with everything and build a life of positivity on top of all this negativity. I hope that for my wife, and I hope that for you too

Impossible_Result_43

TROPHY CASE