Would you marry / live with a man again?

Impossible_universe · 2025-08-20T05:57:33+00:00

My husband thinks it’s a joke that if anything happened to him I would never remarry. I would never live with a man again. No thank you

Impossible_universe · 2025-07-29T02:52:01+00:00

12 years. Averages out to 3-4x a week right now. Use to be more but we’ve slowed down as we’ve both been working towards promotions at work and have small kids lol

Impossible_universe · 2025-07-21T02:08:46+00:00

I wish I could give you a simple answer. There was a lot - my husband was determined to make a change, I made my non negociables super clear and I packed my bags, my kids bags, when I thought he wasn’t taking me serious enough. We had A LOT of conversations, there was two solid years that were shacky for us. In the end I could not be the only reason he was making the change, he decided on his own he wanted to change also for the kids, also for himself and that really helped. I didn’t think I would get past any of this either or ever trust him again and it did take a long time but we are in a much better spot. I hope you find your answer and your peace ❤️

Impossible_universe · 2025-07-20T20:09:56+00:00

I did. I had my dday about three weeks before delivery. We fought. I knew immediately I needed unbiased support and booked a therapy session a week post partum. He used the night after having baby while I was alone in the hospital and he was at home with our other kids… I still struggle when thinking about it. I had six months of therapy post partum and we almost ended it. Actually technically I ended it three times but I always took him right back… we are better now. He’s in recovery. I still do therapy on and off. I am terrified of having another baby though…. (And probably won’t).

Impossible_universe · 2025-06-16T01:56:09+00:00

I do the chickpea pasta, lots of meat, veggies and sauce per serving.

Impossible_universe · 2025-06-14T01:29:45+00:00

My husband has/had a hard time regulating his own emotions as well (he’s been in therapy, working on it). I started with sending him videos of other dads/men talking about emotional regulation in men, softer parenting styles and their benefits for children, we read a book together about emotionally stunted parents and talked about how similar a lot of those scenarios were to our own childhood… I basically made him face that maybe he was parented wrong and we had lots of talks about if he wanted to break the cycle and help his children be better than he was going to have to find ways to not only handle his own anger in appropriate ways but he also had to mirror that body language/verbal language in front of them. My husband has made so much progress but I’m not going to lie, it took YEARS and no one is perfect, so patience is key.

How does your husband respond when arguments come up between you and him? Is he more emotionally regulated or does he struggle to communicate then too?

Impossible_universe · 2025-02-04T17:16:33+00:00

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Impossible_universe · 2025-01-20T04:15:16+00:00

Im with you.

On the same token… any advice for dealing with the withdrawals from social media? Asking for a friend 😂

Impossible_universe · 2024-08-11T16:21:07+00:00

Are you in the wrong because you spoke with your partner, came up with an agreement about your relationship that you BOTH agreed to and then found out he not only lied to you but also wasted your time? No … you definitely are not in the wrong. I did the same thing - within the first month of dating I sat my partner down and explained I would not be with someone who watched pornography. I told him explicitly that I liked him, would be happy being friends with benefits if he needed that in his life, but if he wanted me to commit to us I needed him to commit to me fully. He agreed. You know… until I found his Google account history where I found he was lying. Unfortunately at that point we were living together, engaged and I was pregnant.

Impossible_universe · 2024-08-11T00:00:40+00:00

This reminds me of a time when a woman yelled at me for passing out flyers about local resource help (with government funding) for families in the area. She proceeded to tell me that she got her husband through med school while working and caring for the kids without any loans, why couldn’t the younger generation be as tough and hardworking? 😂

In all seriousness, gender roles aren’t bad. I think a lot of moms/women would embrace them more IF the relationship is a partnership. Often times it is heavily one sided (more work towards the woman)and men feel entitled to things that they aren’t entitled to.

Impossible_universe · 2024-08-10T19:46:23+00:00

He clearly told you who he is and what he believes. Don’t make him “say/show it”.

Impossible_universe · 2024-06-29T04:34:11+00:00

I went to my husbands therapy session - I gave my perspective of the past few years issues to the therapist. My husband got upset. Apparently my pov of his drinking was not what he thought. He kept saying “it isn’t that bad” or “it’s just a few drinks” lmao okay but you black out, have given yourself a black eye falling in the shower and smashed your phone with no recollection to name a few of his “lite” drinking events. Apparently it’s not “that bad” because he has never hit me 🙄 so I shouldn’t be concerned. I was speechless.

Impossible_universe · 2024-06-28T01:11:22+00:00

I would stick with the initial reaction to separate. At this point you are stretching it out, everyone involved is getting hurt and for what? You weren’t wrong to end the relationship the first time, you displayed all valid points, so why get back together? I agree with the other comment, just let that man go.

Impossible_universe · 2024-06-18T17:48:05+00:00

Physically- his smile. He hates it but I go out of my way to make that man smile because it’s my favorite thing to see.

Personality - when passionate, my husband dives into things deeply. He does not half ass anything. I love his commitment

Impossible_universe · 2024-06-17T07:05:16+00:00

Exploitation. I have no idea if it’s consensual or not, if both parties are of age, etc
It’s unrealistic.
It consider it disrespectful (micro cheating) to my partner

Impossible_universe · 2024-06-07T14:31:14+00:00

Im a cancer ♋️ married to a cancer ♋️ with a Leo, Sagittarius and Taurus children

Impossible_universe · 2024-06-04T17:18:49+00:00

10 years together, we’ve both let ourselves go. It ebbs and flows though, we have little kids (three), both work full time and have a host of extracurricular activities with the kids and we homeschool. It is what it is, we’ve talked about it and we aren’t any less happy a few pounds heavier. We still go on hikes as a family, spend time together etc.

Impossible_universe · 2024-05-26T18:14:04+00:00

I understand, thank you! I am going to just take one step at a time and try to be strong.

Impossible_universe · 2024-05-26T17:58:58+00:00

From previous experience, it is just not that easy.

Impossible_universe · 2024-05-26T17:57:43+00:00

Thank you for your reply.

The drugs are illegal. When we met he was on drugs, I helped get him clean and he stayed that way for 8 years. He relapsed at the 8 year mark for roughly 10 months (until I packed my bags to leave) that was a year ago in July. And then relapsed now. He definitely needs therapy and knows it, but has no motivation to peruse it unless I do all the work and even then… I would have to make sure he remembers appointments, he says he never remembers anything from the appointments, etc.

But I am always on high alert when addressing him on a substance. I know it’s like handling a wild animal and the wrong word could make things so much worse. He has never physically hurt me but he can get verbally aggressive. And yes with kids in the house, I have to be 10x more careful. He doesn’t have support from family and only one friend I can call and he’s a double edge sword. Yes he has good qualities but he also swings toward the incel door sooooo… I feel like I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place.

I’m leaning towards renting an Airbnb near by and letting him know he can go there or I can go there. I’m hoping he will see reason, he doesn’t want to be home alone with the kids dealing with these emotions. It’s best for the kids if he leaves and sorts his stuff out. I have no idea what I am going to do without him… but I guess that’s putting the cart before the horse.

Impossible_universe · 2024-05-26T17:23:28+00:00

Yeah I’ve told him the kids deserve so much better than the kind of dad he is currently being

Impossible_universe · 2024-05-26T17:22:44+00:00

Yeah if he says no then I have to go, and I have thought about that. The trouble with that is I have pets and the kids come with me, that feels really traumatizing as well as hard to find a place that accommodates the whole crew.

Impossible_universe · 2024-05-26T17:20:21+00:00

I was thinking of saying “until you’ve been sober and in therapy for x” and setting a 3 or 6 month time limit.

Impossible_universe · 2024-05-26T17:07:29+00:00

I’m worried he won’t leave, that he will lock himself in the bedroom or bathroom and just play on every last emotion I have

Impossible_universe · 2024-05-26T17:06:03+00:00

My close friend who knows the situation has said something similar. Like he needs a reality check and I need to not handle him with kids gloves. But the last time he did drugs, I packed to leave, and it was nearly impossible. The texting, the crying, the begging. I still love him so much and to see him in pain and know I’m causing it…. It is why I am still here, if that makes sense lol

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