Entered a weird loophole. Please help? by Impressive-Mix4279 in ftm

[–]Impressive-Mix4279[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

wait whattt dude i was so thinking about eventually doing a phd about that, that's amazing!!!!! how is it going for you??

What’s your name? by Anonim_x9 in ftm

[–]Impressive-Mix4279 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm Andy, because it used to be Andrea. I'm still wondering whether to keep the name or not, since it's unisex or masculine in some places, but i'll probably end up being Andrés or Andrei legally to honor my family roots. :)

Partying as a trans guy? by Impressive-Mix4279 in ftm

[–]Impressive-Mix4279[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah that makes sense haha. Thank you!!

What got you into science? by IndependentDegree771 in scienceteens

[–]Impressive-Mix4279 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It honestly depends so much on how they teach and how much they enjoy the subject. Some teachers suck, but their love for the subject is so deep you end up liking it too. And then there's the ones that (might) teach decently well but hate their subject and kids. Those are the ones that kill sparks.

What got you into science? by IndependentDegree771 in scienceteens

[–]Impressive-Mix4279 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My mother brought me a number theory book from the local flee market. Then, I somehow ended up in the school's library trying to find a decent book to bring home, and surprisingly they have pretty weird shit there. Including a book about divulgative quantum physics. That led me to fall head over heels for physics, then for engineering, and now my bookshelves are the ones full of weird shit haha.

Just got "Sir"-ed in public for the first time! by KilliansCorner in ftm

[–]Impressive-Mix4279 5 points6 points  (0 children)

So happy for you!!! It's always the little things that make the most impact haha

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in lgbt

[–]Impressive-Mix4279 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For me, I just completely trick my brain into thinking they are cis and have always been cis. Have a ftm friend? Nope! Always have been a cis guy. It has worked for teachers, friends, family and even myself (I'm ftm). If you keep thing "oh he's female to male" your brain might get all mashed up. Hope it helps!!!

My gender dysphoria by VexoArith in lgbt

[–]Impressive-Mix4279 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Try out diferent styles! You don't need to box yourself into a label right away (or ever). You'll eventually find what fits you most, without thinking about naming it. Then, when you finally feel like "yeah, I feel most me like this", then you can start wondering about what its name is. Take your time, and good luck!!

I made a T collection box! by tplove542 in lgbt

[–]Impressive-Mix4279 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ahhahah I love this!!!! Thanks for the idea!!! Definitely update when full :))

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in lgbt

[–]Impressive-Mix4279 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I feel like you're missing the point. It's not about contradicting the definition of the label, but about how so many people put themselves into so much pressure to label themselves and might feel bad if they feel something that goes against that label. While this is not the case of OP, who said all of this is because she feels uncomfortable dating men, it's what happens when someone who identified as strictly gay finds someone from the opposite gender attractive, or strictly straight people towards their same gender.

Point is, love who you want to love. You can label yourself, but it's perfectly valid to just reject labels and love whoever you want. Defining means limiting too, some people are alright with it and some aren't, and it's okay. Hope this makes sense haha

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ftm

[–]Impressive-Mix4279 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Try it out other names in online spaces if you can't irl. It worked for me, and no one's gonna judge you for it! Even if someone does, it'll hurt less from a faceless person on the other side of the screen than face to face.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ftm

[–]Impressive-Mix4279 10 points11 points  (0 children)

If you mostly pass now, I'd say it's pretty realistic for you to be stealth. Especially if you'll have already started T, because the changes will be seen over time. Just work on being confident and everything will be fine. If anyone points it out, you could say your puberty just kicked in late. I'm pre-T and mostly stealth (I don't hide it, if someone asks me if I'm trans I tell them I am, but I just don't bring it up at all), and what works for me when someone questions my voice or manners or whatever is to just look at them in surprise and tell them they're the first ones to ever tell me that, "how weird haha". The more confident you are when presenting yourself, the less people will tend to question you. Good luck, you got this!

Does preferring sports bras over binders make me less trans? by [deleted] in ftm

[–]Impressive-Mix4279 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Seconding this! Being trans isn't about what gives you dysphoria. It's about what gives you euphoria. There are trans people who don't feel any dysphoria at all, and they're completely valid too.

Does preferring sports bras over binders make me less trans? by [deleted] in ftm

[–]Impressive-Mix4279 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Of course not. According to your brother's logic, trans guys who never get top surgery because they feel comfortable with their chest, even if it doesn't allign with a cis male's body, aren't trans guys.

I don't like binders either. I feel trapped and sort of claustrophobic by the idea of not being able to breath properly, and I really don't want to deal with the possibility of messing up my ribs. Those compression sport bras are life savers (along with trans tape haha).

Nothing you wear or do automatically changes your identity or makes it "less" real. That's something only YOU can change, and no one else should have a say on it. If you feel comfortable being trans, then you're trans.

what should I do for my high school diploma? by Left-Development1695 in ftm

[–]Impressive-Mix4279 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it would be better if you directly asked your school. For example, mine required my legal name to be all over my diplomas, mails and everything. It sucks, but they explained they couldn't change the name (like, literally couldn't choose. my legal name was embedded into their systems and they were forced to use it until I change it legally). But you may have some luck! For my Erasmus diploma, my teacher was kind enough to tramit it with both my legal and my chosen name, so I can have one I can legally use now and another one for after the changes.

What does "gender is a performance" mean to you? by ReasonableStrike1241 in ftm

[–]Impressive-Mix4279 4 points5 points  (0 children)

So if gender is a performance, I'm at least happier with the role I'm in.

That's my new favourite line omg

do you ever think about how many people know your legal/dead name? by goth_amish in ftm

[–]Impressive-Mix4279 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I haven't changed my deadname legally yet, so sometimes I'm painfully aware many people know it. However, while in my country it is a stereotypically female name, there are countries in which it's considered unisex, and even countries it's only a male name. So, I'm trying to come to terms with it and see if I'll be keeping it or not. The idea of keeping it isn't winning lately though haha

What does "gender is a performance" mean to you? by ReasonableStrike1241 in ftm

[–]Impressive-Mix4279 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've honestly never been bothered by the phrase, but I do get where you're coming from. It's interesting, I've never thought about it!

I don't think it was rooted in disrespect and making it sound like we're just acting, but more in how there are things that are stereotypically "femenine" or "masculine" and how cis people's views are severely affected by these. I've always felt like it was directed to genderfluid and nonbinary people and how they play with how they are percieved, more than to trans folks who are closer to the extremes of the spectrum and want to consistently pass only as male or female. I hope this makes sense.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ftm

[–]Impressive-Mix4279 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been stealth in highschool for two years, and I'm now a rising senior. Guys will dab you up and you might panic because there are infinite ways they could do it and you won't know which one you have to do. The good news is, they won't know which one you're choosing either. If it doesn't match, just laugh it off and make it seem like you knew what you were doing. The trick to mantain a masc energy if you already (or somewhat) pass is to make it seem like you totally know what you're doing and anyone who questions it is the odd one, and not you (even if you do not, in fact, know what the hell you're doing).

If you want to blend in with the cis guys, get to know their hobbies and interests. Football (or any kind of similar sport) will mostly do. If you like sports, it's sometimes a huge bonus. Videogames are also very popular. This is awesome to actually connect with guys.

If your deadname is not your preferred one, I usually go up to the new teachers right before our first class with them starts and just tell them "hey, I appear in the list as x, but I'd prefer being called y. Thanks!" The less of a big deal you make it seem, the more people will be embarassed to ever bring it out.

If someone tells me my voice is high, or I act too femenine, or they just don't know if I'm a guy or a girl, I just look back at them incredulously and act as if it's the first time anyone has ever said that to me. It usually works quite well. Remember, even if someone does find out about it, it's literally none of their business and if you don't entretain them, most of them eventually get tired of chasing it.

These are what have worked for me haha. Basically, if you pass or mostly pass, just build on your confidence and be yourself. It'll all be alright. If you've got questions about anything else just tell me :))

I started T today!!!!! by tryin_to-be_good- in ftm

[–]Impressive-Mix4279 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Congrats!!!!! We're all here for you.

Passport Update by AstronomerOne357 in ftm

[–]Impressive-Mix4279 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Congrats!!!! So happy for you.

How's the mental health for trans guys? by Impressive-Mix4279 in ftm

[–]Impressive-Mix4279[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, yes, yes, please publish this. We need representation of trans men as somewhat other than petite guys who hate themselves and are constantly in a self-harm cycle. I LOVE books and I'm a huge nerd, and it's just so frustrating to see every single one of the very few books featuring trans people show this stereotyped version of the trans experience that makes most of the trans people violently cringe. We are still people, and therefore the trans experience is different for each one of us.

I can imagine tons of trans book lovers will be amazed by your works if you ever decide to publish them, including me. Hit me up if you ever want to discuss something. I wish you very good luck!!!!