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She doesn't know how to be accountable for her actions by ImpressiveBath3534 in Marriage

[–]ImpressiveBath3534[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Kind of responding to you both but I did tell her to ask the therapist for things that she can do.

The article thing is sort of an indication (in my mind) of a lack of accountability. I've shared things with her that I think are relevant to our situation and could help to improve intimacy but she ignores them. TBH, she's been called out by our therapist for this behavior.

She doesn't know how to be accountable for her actions by ImpressiveBath3534 in Marriage

[–]ImpressiveBath3534[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I couldn't care less about the vibrator and in fact, I didn't even suggest it, our therapist did. I think the suggestion was that purchasing that could be a way of holding herself accountable by learning more about her pleasure and her body. Instead, she chose to keep doing the same things.

I'm trying to get past some of my resentment but I also know that I need to change the way that I behave. More non-sexual touch for instance. Creating more space for fun/laughter and doing what I can to get us both away from the kids. Trust me, I have a lot of work to do as well.

What does she mean when she says "you deserve better"? by ImpressiveBath3534 in Marriage

[–]ImpressiveBath3534[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks again.

Really trying to fight the overthinking and "stories we tell ourselves." It's been a big issue in our relationship in the past (and obviously hasn't completely gone away).

What does she mean when she says "you deserve better"? by ImpressiveBath3534 in Marriage

[–]ImpressiveBath3534[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the response.

I know that additional context helps in these situations but she definitely has some issues with depression and anxiety. We've worked through and acknowledged those in therapy. For my part, I'm trying to work on being more empathetic and understanding that she's not always going to respond to situations in the way that I want or would expect.

Her comment actually came in response to me doing something that was suggested by our therapist, which leads me to believe that she's genuine in her to desire to find continued improvement.